I bared my teeth and tightened my grip on his hair, yanking harshly to gain his attention. I wasn’t in the best position lying on the table, but neither was he. We were at an impasse, neither one of us willing to give an inch to the other, both pushing to make their point. I had to somehow use this opportunity as a teachable moment, force him to realize the grave error he’d committed by assaulting me. I couldn’t let him get away with that, not now, not ever.
I hooked a leg around his thighs and pressed the heel of my foot just below his ass to hold him in place. “Apologize to me, Mac,” I demanded. “Apologize for hurting me and mean it, asshole.”
“I’d rather fuck you instead, kitty cat.”
He took my mouth in a searing kiss. His daft fingers somehow found their way to my clit behind the barrier of my panties. A tiny moan escaped my throat, but I couldn’t give in to him. This was much too important.
“You hurt me, Darragh,” I implored, begged even. “I’m your guest, remember? You promised to protect me with your life; instead, you caused me the greatest pain, pain I didn’t deserve.” I released the hold on his hair. “Apologize, Darragh, you must.”
I watched as the war raged behind his eyes, the struggle to gain his balance of wits before finally coming to some sort of a decision. He coldly stepped from between my legs so abruptly, they fell with a thud, hitting the backs of my knees in the process. I gathered my skirt from where it was bundled up around my waist and modestly smoothed it down over myself. Mac walked over to the big bay window and just…stared, lost. I had no way of knowing what was going through his mind. The limited time we’d spent together didn’t allow for that insight. Everything just seemed off, from the tight set of his shoulders to the harsh manner in which he raked his fingers through his hair.
I felt the need to comfort him.
How odd.
“There once was a man,” he started to speak. “For the sake of this story, we’ll call him Bob, Bob the dumb fuck. At the age of thirteen, Bob met a girl at a party thrown by the head of the New Jersey crime family and instantly fell in love. She was breathtaking, and out of all the boys in the room, she only had eyes for him. Bob felt ten feet tall and knew he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”
He turned slightly to see if I was listening.
I was.
“Over the course of the next few years, his feelings for the girl only grew as it evolved from young love and changed into something more desperate, obsessive. On her eighteenth birthday, Bob the dumb fuck planned to ask her to marry him, bought a huge diamond engagement ring, even practiced his proposal in the mirror.”
Mac paused, took a deep breath, and shook his head as if to clear it. His mask of indifference was firmly back in place, clouding the taste of vulnerability he’d shown moments before. The mob boss had a point to make, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like it.
“Then what happened?” I whispered.
“Bob got fucked is what happened, kitty cat,” he growled. “The girl ended up marrying someone else without Bob’s knowledge. The firstborn son and heir to one of the other crime families. Said I do and never looked back. Bob the dumb fuck was left holding his dick and was ordered to move on.”
“Poor Bob.” I jumped down from the table and approached Mac by the window. “That must’ve made you very sad, Darragh. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“Me?” he snapped. “What the fuck makes you think any of that shit was about me?”
“I just assumed…well, it’s obvious that…”
“You asked me to tell you a story the other night, and it took me a while to come up with a good one. I always keep my promises, Otelia, and since our time is coming to a close, I seized the opportunity. Now…I don’t owe you shit.”
Motherfucker played me…again.
“Am I going to get that apology, Mac?” I folded my arms over my chest and glared.
“Not on your fucking life,” he replied steadily. “We leave shortly for the match. I suggest you take that time to rest up before the limo arrives. You look a little beat.”
Dismissed.
His words were a lie.
“Bob didn’t get fucked, Mac,” I spat angrily. “Love is unending, even in death.”
“Does it really matter, Otelia?”
“To you? I guess not. To me, it’s everything.”
I retreated to the adjoining room with my tail between my legs and my heart in my throat. I could’ve stayed, called him out on his bullshit, argued longer that the human thing to do was apologize. I could’ve challenged his story about Bob the dumb fuck, that some part of it had to be real. He couldn’t fake the sincerity in his voice unless he was a damn good actor. I would’ve told him that there was no shame in loving someone, it was why we were put on this Earth. Truth was, my heart broke for a man who didn’t have it in him to reciprocate the feeling unless it pertained to his unholy business of underground fighting. Once I walked out and slammed the door, I wondered how lonely his life must feel to never seek out that which was promised to all of us?
How lonely we must all feel.
Tears soon followed.
CHAPTER 15
MacCabe
RARELY HAD I ever done something I later regretted.
I’d killed men, some deserving and some not so much. My one-way ticket to hell was stamped first class a long time ago. I kept my bags packed. The one thing they all had in common was my ability to remain unsympathetic to their cause, no matter how much they begged for their lives. That might make me a heartless bastard, but they knew in advance what would happen if they crossed me. That was the one thing that made this feel different.
Otelia was clueless.
She didn’t know what set me off. She only knew how I reacted. What the hell had possessed me to tell Otelia that ridiculous tale of Bob the dumb fuck, I’d never know. Instead of giving her the apology she asked for, I chose instead to substantiate the underlying factors as to why I never would. Did she understand them? Probably not, but that was to be expected. Living the life of the youngest son of a mob boss was tantamount to being the redheaded child in a family of blond-haired Norwegians. Sure, they’d feed and clothe you, but you’d always be seen as different, unworthy, less than.
The bruises around her neck made me physically ill. Knowing I was the one who’d caused them made the pain unbearable. I’d failed to protect Otelia, even from myself, all because she dared to show token interest in someone higher up on the food chain. It wasn’t as if she’d offered up her pussy in exchange for her freedom. Hell, if I was truly being honest, she only did what came naturally. The one thing I’d learned about Otelia was that she was bright, articulate, and extremely outgoing. The perfect combination of character traits needed to work in the service industry. She was far from a heartless bitch who used her feminine wiles to drop a motherfucker when his back was turned to marry someone else.
I tried like hell not to look at the monitor. Some things were better left as they were. She’d be leaving in a few hours, and I’d never have to see her again. I busied myself with last-minute arrangements, confirming security details and checking emails. That bullshit lasted all of a half an hour, give or take five minutes. I changed into something a bit more comfortable, which only meant I had to change again before the match. Any hopes I had of remaining neutral were eviscerated along with my willpower when I watched the tears silently sliding down her cheeks. She meant for me to see how much she was hurting. Why else would she turn facing forward instead of away? The still small voice inside my head propelled me towards her door, or maybe it was my principles or egotism. Strangely, the way she left became as important to me as the manner in which she’d arrived.