My eyes filled with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Maribel.”
“I’m sorry too, Odie.”
She lunged from her perch on the box and held me close. I sobbed through apology after apology until there were no more left to give. We hugged it out. Forgiveness was understood without blame or finger-pointing. One of the many things I’d missed. When we finally broke apart, we were an us again, and I never wanted that to change.
“Tell me, how are things at the junkyard now that you’re living with Marcus?” I asked, wiping away the last of my tears.
“Amazingly…normal.” She smiled.
It was a good look.
“And you?” she chirped. “What have you been up to all this time?”
“Well, you know, this and that.” I felt a blush creeping along my cheeks.
“I know that look, sly fox!” she all but shouted, pointing in my face. “You have a new boyfriend. Spill, girlfriend, spill.”
Maribel sat cross-legged at my feet waiting for an answer. What could I say that wouldn’t make me sound like a deranged idiot suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? I was afraid to meet her eyes knowing I had a lot of explaining to do.
Might as well get it over with.
“IwentoutonadatewithDarraghMacCabe!” I covered my mouth to stop the word vomit from flowing. Maribel blinked, scrunched up her button nose.
Blinked again.
Then lost it.
“I knew it!” S=she howled through her laughter. “I fucking knew it. Holy shit!”
“Knew what? How? And stop the damn laughing, retired slut bucket!” I lightly smacked her shoulder.
“Oh, Odie.” She exhaled. “I knew you had it bad for that man the second he kissed you after Marcus finished off that asshole and won the fight. You were obviously struggling with something that happened between the two of you, so I had no choice but to wait it out until you decided to confide in me. Just to say, this news does not surprise me one bit.”
Humph.
How did she know and I didn’t?
“You don’t think I’m crazy for seeing him again? I mean, the man did kidnap me for forty-eight hours and forced Marcus to fight so he could win a stupid bet.”
“Hell no!” She waived a hand. “Have you met my man? He isn’t exactly the poster child for appropriate behavior in a committed relationship.”
“I see your point.” I snickered.
“Now…tell me more about the mysterious Darragh MacCabe.”
And so I did.
As with any good story, you start from the beginning. The first forty-eight hours held in his penthouse, the escape attempts, our trip to the underground fights warehouse, the bar top encounter, not taking a breather until I covered the fish incident and that raggedy bitch, Bella O’Brien. Maribel, bless her heart, listened to every word like a trooper without interruption. Unburdening oneself was supposed to be therapeutic, so why did I feel like hammered shit?
“You like him,” Maribel surmised. It was a statement, not a question.
“I don’t know…maybe? He’s…different.”
“What are you going to do about it, ignore the feelings and hope they go away?”
Damn good question.
“There are other things to consider besides feelings before getting involved with a man like Darragh MacCabe, Maribel.”
I stood from the box and started pacing the small room.
Step. “He’s dangerous.”
Step. “He’s bossy.”
Step. “He’s …”
Excuses.
I had plenty.
Maribel didn’t deserve to hear any more of them without knowing the truth, and I prayed it would finally set me free. I sat opposite her again, my chest tight with trepidation. This was it. All the years we’ve known each other, and I’ve never shared this part of my life, not with her, not with anyone. I took a few deep breaths and steadied myself. Sweat formed above my brow. I looked deep within her kind, caring eyes and allowed her to see me. All of me.
“I met the love of my life when I was fifteen years old. His name was Berkley, but everyone called him by his last name, Gates. It seemed fitting since he was the star quarterback of our high school football team, and that’s what was stitched on the back of his jersey.” I smiled fondly at the memory. “He was everything to me, my heart, my soul, my reason for exiting. We made plans, big plans, for after graduation and college. We vowed to never be apart.”
My heart was beating so fast I thought I might pass out. My voice had turned thick with emotion. I had to cough to clear it before continuing.
“One day, during football practice, he took a harder-than-normal hit to the body and had to be rushed to the emergency room. I wasn’t worried; injuries happened all the time during the season. This was just another one to add to his long list of scrapes and bruises.”
Maribel sucked in a sharp breath. She knew there had to be more. She reached out and squeezed my hands as she’d done before, this time with more force than I thought possible for someone so slight. I needed that strength if I had any hope in hell of getting through this.
“The doctors did an X-ray of his shoulder as a precaution, and that’s when they found…” A sob broke loose, but I had to keep going. “They found a mass near his lungs that was later determined…it was cancerous. I was devastated, Maribel. How could something like that happen? Gates was young, athletic, strong, healthy, then all of a sudden, there was talk of surgical options, life expectancy, and chemotherapy. It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fucking fair.”
“Oh, Odie.” Maribel covered her mouth in horror.
I could no longer hold back the tears.
Maribel joined me.
We held each other through the hefty sobs and soundless tremors, the inhuman wails and snotty drips, till we were both emotionally spent and dazed into silence. But there was more.
“He fought so hard, as hard as he could, Maribel, for me, for us...” I paused. “The three of us.”
“Three?” she gasped.
I shook my head and responded with a shaky voice.
“For the tiny baby growing inside my belly, through every poke and prod, experimental treatment, surgical consults, diminished odds of remission, he never gave up, until he had no other choice. He slipped away, but not before telling me that one day, I’d find love again, and that the man of my dreams was out there somewhere, waiting for me. He said it would be a grand adventure, and I believed him… once.”
“What…what happened to the baby?” she whimpered.
“I lost him at twelve weeks, just after Gates passed away.”
“Oh my god, Odie. You never said a thing.” I felt the sadness in her statement, the betrayal.
“I know, and I’m sorry. You’re my best friend…my only friend. I just…” Please forgive me.
“I know how hard it is to trust someone with your feelings, Odie. I won’t throw stones.”
God, I love this girl.
“What about MacCabe?” she asked. “He could be the one. You’ll never know unless you take a chance. I know it’s hard to imagine that a man like him would be capable of more than satisfying a physical need, but wouldn’t it be worth it to dig deeper? I want that so badly for you, Odie.”