And maybe instead signing a contract for a new house for Jaylin, Celeste, and me to live in.
Because signing that contract would mean I would be in Jaylin’s office.
With Jaylin.
Life has a funny way of fucking you sometimes.
Chapter Five
Jaylin
* * *
The problem with offices made of glass is that when there is someone you want to stalk, it’s entirely too easy.
I’ve turned my chair to the left while putting my feet up on the edge of my desk. I have files in my lap, with a highlighter in one hand and a pen in the other. I tap my lip with said pen so people think I’m really concentrating on the work I am doing. I’m not, though. Instead, I am watching Kirby with Celeste on his knee as he listens intently to Willa. She is moving her hands, talking with her whole body, and that’s how I know she is passionate about helping him. There are a lot of things about Willa that I love and adore, but my favorite thing is that when she wants to win a case, she does everything in her power to do so. It’s one of the reasons she is our most successful family lawyer. I’m a bit worried because custody is hard to take away from a mother, but I have all the confidence in the world that if someone were going to make it happen, it’d be Willa.
Kirby meets with her for over an hour. In that time, I find I have to pee like a racehorse, and also, I have made eye contact with Jacob Jinkins, one of our criminal lawyers who is convinced I want to suck his dick. Sorry, no. I want the sexy dad with the adorable baby in his lap. He is incredible with her. I’ve met a lot of men who say they want kids, but I never saw them as a dad. Kirby was made for the role. He is so attentive to Celeste. He feeds her, gives her toys, and keeps her occupied while still giving Willa his attention. It’s astonishing to witness.
And such a damn turn-on. I’m basically squirming in my seat, but then I feel dirty because he’s being a dad and shit. Like, isn’t that wrong? Then again, if it is, fuck it, I don’t want to be right. I lean back in my chair, acting as if I’m yawning as I watch him sign some documents. He moves with such fluidity, it’s beautiful. I find that all hockey players are like that; they move so efficiently and with purpose. I bet he is incredible in bed.
When my phone rings, it startles me, but I recover fast, answering Aviva’s call.
“Hello?”
“Hey, sorry. It’s been crazy all day. So, here is what is going on—”
“He’s here.”
She pauses. “He is?”
“Yeah, meeting with Willa for his case. He told me what happened.”
“Oh, okay. So, you’re up-to-date.”
“I am. What a cunt, huh?”
“Super-duper cunt. I never liked her.”
“Who does that to a child?”
“Exactly. Though Kirby wasn’t too surprised. He said she’s always been flighty, which is why they never worked out. Also, she liked to fuck anything with legs while he was gone.”
I roll my eyes. “Double cunt.”
“Legit,” she agrees. “How did he seem? He is being so strong. He is such a good dad.”
“Oh, totally. He’s impressive and so fucking hot.”
“Jay…” she warns, but I’m not listening.
“I’m currently obsessing over the dip in his cheek when he gives Celeste a smile.”
“Jesus. You’re watching him? Isn’t Jacob’s office between yours and Willa’s?”
“Yes, and he is probably going to ask me out again, but I don’t care. I can’t stop watching Kirby and regretting that things didn’t align for us.”
“I know,” she says on a sigh. “I think you two would have been awesome together.”
“We would have been.”
She snorts. “Please, tell me what you really think.”
Now, I’m the one sighing. “I wish that was my baby on his lap.”
I know my confession stuns my best friend for life, and I quickly regret it. I’m not one to say things like that. I’ve always sold my kids when I got them in the game of Life. I’ve even tried to sell my husband since Aviva always told me he got to drive. That’s bullshit. I’m driving. I didn’t have baby dolls growing up. I had a lemonade stand that I used to sell snacks to Aviva’s dolls. I was all about making that money and doing big things. I’ve done them.
Now, I want more.
Funny how that happens.
When Kirby gets up all of a sudden, I widen my eyes as I watch him shake hands with Willa while Celeste sits on his hip. “Ooh, he’s moving.”
“Who?”
“Kirby.”
“You’re still watching him!”
“Why are you surprised?”
“Honestly, I don’t know why,” she says with laughter in her voice. “Is he coming to say bye?”
Shit! As he reaches down to grab his bag, I almost fall out of my chair again in an effort to go back to normal. I throw everything on my desk and push my chair up into place so I look like the professional lawyer I am. Though, for the last hour, some would say I was less than professional.
Whatever.
“He’s leaving her office,” I say, watching him out of the corner of my eye so that he doesn’t think I’m watching him. Celeste moves her hands through his hair, and I can’t fight back the smile when he kisses her nose. Promptly, my ovaries explode.
Oh, ovaries. I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.
“Is he coming your way?”
“God, I hope so.”
“Do you need to call me back?”
“I don’t—” Before I can finish, he turns away from my office, heading straight for the elevators instead. I exhale harshly, the disappointment eating me alive. “Guess he isn’t interested.”
“Jay,” she scolds. “He has a lot going on right now. Dating is the last thing he wants.”
“I know,” I say. And I do know that. “I’m just being in my feelings.”
“Which is okay,” she reminds me. “It’s better to feel than hold it all in. Right?”
“Right,” I agree, and I hate that I allowed her to come to therapy with me when I was going through my cancer treatment. She uses all that shit on me more than I care for her to. Suddenly, there is a knock at my door. I hate how excited I get at the possibility of it being Kirby.
Because it’s not, and just like that, I’m disappointed.
“Hey, Jaylin. Can I talk to you?”
“Of course,” I say as Willa enters. “Aviva, let me call you back.”
“No problem. Love you.”
“Love you,” I say, hanging up and throwing my phone down. I lean on my elbows, plastering on the fakest and most supportive smile I can muster. “How’d it go with Litman?”
“Good. He’s smart as a whip. He’s documented everything. He even has screenshots of conversations when she left. She doesn’t want custody of the child and even said he can have her. It should be cut-and-dried, but still, I want to make sure all my bases are covered.”
I nod. “Of course.”
“I wanted to get your opinion since you two know each other,” she says slowly. “I advised him to get a nanny service for when he travels for his work, but he’s insistent that his elderly neighbors will watch the child while he’s traveling.”