Stripping off my clothes, I went into my bathroom, turned on the shower, and stepped into the warm water, prepared for a very fast beat-off session. Frankly, I’d had enough teasing today, from touching the curves of Audrey’s body and getting a glimpse of her nipples, to knowing the way she tasted and getting to put my arms around her hot body. And now spending all this time with my dirty fantasies of her, I needed that release I earlier told her I could do without.
Water sluicing down my body, I gripped my cock and stroked hard, then came fast, gasping, wishing I could have the real thing.
Forever.
Nine
Finals
Audrey
I nestled in the dark blue pleather booth across from Wren at her mom’s diner and put my knee up on the bench next to me. Because of finals, we’d gotten out of class early, and I’d joined her for lunch after school. Since we’d been busy studying all week, I hadn’t really caught up with her, but some things I didn’t want to put in a text.
Tate had some pre-graduation family thing to go to today. In a few hours I’d have to take my mom to the doctor’s office because Dad was on shift. But for now I was enjoying the few moments I had with my best friend before I had to leave to pick Mom up.
Wren organized the sugar packets so they all faced the same way while I sipped on a root beer and doodled an outfit on a paper placemat. “I can’t believe we’re almost done with school. It’s just … over,” she said.
“Almost. After tomorrow night.” Our graduation would be Friday evening, and I both looked forward to it and dreaded it.
“Isn’t it weird, though?”
“It feels anticlimactic. I hope I don’t cry, though. That would be awful.”
Mrs. Namuang stopped by our booth and set down our food. Wren had a bowl of soup while I had pad Thai and fries.
“Thanks,” I said. “This looks tasty.”
“Are you girls doing okay? I mean with life, not just with lunch?”
“Yes, Mom,” Wren said. “We’re just commiserating about graduation.”
“Oh, it’s a very important time,” she said, a faraway look in her eyes. “Getting a diploma is a rite of passage. I am very proud of my daughter and you. It’s an accomplishment.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I said, doing my best to be polite, but wanting to dig into my lunch. “I think we’re going to miss people from school though. For years we’ve been with them, and now it will be just … nothing.”
“You’re going to see everyone anyway,” she said. “Nobody really leaves Merlot. Not really.”
“That’s depressing,” Wren said.
“It’s a place to come back to after you go away,” Mrs. Namuang said. “You need a home just as much as you need to know more about the world. You will see.” She nodded gravely and walked off.
I turned to Wren. “That’s the problem, though.” I sighed. “I’m not gonna get to see more about the world for a long time. No Eurorail for me.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “But you could be riding a train, right? Did you get the job on the wine train?”
I nodded. “They hired me almost immediately. I guess they’re short-staffed and are going to be busy this summer. Plus my references were a caterer, a teacher, and a firefighter, so that looked decent.” Sandra Lemieux, my English teacher, and my dad’s coworker were the first people I could think of as references. “I have training starting late next week.”
“Cool! I’m glad. Let me know how it goes. I hope you like it. Allen Chen works there. Remember him? He was a senior when we were freshmen.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetie. I would’ve thought he’d go away for college.”
“Nope. Or maybe he just works here in summers? I’m not sure.”
“Ugh!” I whined. “People come here and never get out.”
“You will,” she assured me. “Eventually.” Then a wicked gleam came over her face. “Soooo. We haven’t talked. How’s it going with Tate?”
“Fine.”
She wouldn’t let me get away with that answer. “Have you kissed him properly?”
I grinned and took a bite of noodles.
“Excellent,” she said, clapping her hands. “Have you decided to let him deflower you?”
My hands flew up toward her face to shut her mouth, and she giggled. “Oh my god, keep your voice down. But yes.”
“Well, well. That’s exciting.” She sipped a spoonful of broth. “Does Tate know this?”
I flushed. “We haven’t exactly talked about it. I told him we could do whatever, though, so I think he gets the picture.”
“Just make sure you talk to him, okay?” The concern in her face was unmistakable. “I mean, I want you to own your sexuality, but I also don’t want you to get hurt.”
“With Tate? Never. He’s such a perfect gentleman.”
“Really? I’d have thought he’d be sexy.”
“He is,” I said wistfully. I lowered my voice. “We finally made out for the first time, and it was awesome.”
“I’m not gonna ask you for the highlight reel. But did you like it?”
I nodded.
“You do you, boo boo. But if you don’t want to do him, you know you don’t have to.”
“I know,” I said. “But I really, really want to.”
“Don’t get, like, obsessed with it, okay?”
“Don’t worry,” I assured her. “I won’t.” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m just hoping to get some experience in before he leaves for college. I told my mom I’d stay home for a year.”
The thought made my chest tight and a headache start to brew.
“Have you talked with him about that?”
I shook my head.
She glared at me. “Why not? He deserves to have some say in this.”
“What can he say, though? He can’t fix my mom.”
“But maybe he could work something out with you where you go visit him. You don’t have to dump him at the end of summer.”
“Is it fair to him to ask him to be long-distance? What if he resents me?”
“What if he doesn’t?”
I shrugged, helpless. “I’ll ask him, okay?”
“Make it soon. Someone is going to get their heart broken. He will, or you will. Or maybe you both will. And I don’t want that to happen.”
“I don’t have a choice, Wren. I really like him. I don’t want to stay away from him. He says he likes me. But I can’t leave my mom.” I felt my eyes start to well up with tears. “Tate is selfless. I’m scared he’ll choose me, and I’m scared he won’t. Neither choice is acceptable.”
She clucked at me. “I think there’s a lot more to it than that.”
And I feared she was right.
A few hours later, I wrestled the new wheelchair out of the back of Dad’s truck and awkwardly helped Mom get in. We’d practiced at home, but it was still difficult. Her brand new wheelchair had come just yesterday—Dad said it was a saga with paperwork and insurance—and it had given her more mobility, but it was also a reminder that the disease was progressing rapidly. I hated watching her get more and more frail. Maybe it had been sneaking up on us for a while and I hadn’t noticed. Maybe I’d intentionally ignored the signs because I didn’t want to process the changes. All the quiet conversations between my parents. The increased doctor’s appointments. The prescriptions. The activities my mom couldn’t do as well as she could before.