“You need to go?” asked Noah, disappointed.
“No...I just,” said Jessa, tears pricking at her eyes.
“Let me protect you from this, Noah,” she said softly, hanging up as she lost the battle, bursting into tears.
Noah stared at the phone in his hand. Jessa had hung up suddenly, and he ran his hand through his hair worriedly.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep it together, she texted to him.
Answer the phone, Jessa, he responded before calling her.
Jessa answered, tears running down her cheeks as she sobbed.
“Listen to me,” said Noah, hearing her distress and knowing they were taking turns again at being strong for each other. It was his turn again, and he could do it. He would do it for her.
“Jessa, I love you. I don’t want you to cry, but please don’t hide it from me. You’re not protecting me by hiding how you feel. I need to comfort you. I don’t want you crying on your own. I’ll be here on the phone with you and just be quiet if you don’t want to talk; I just need to be here for you,” he said.
He could only hear Jessa’s sobs, her breathing loud in his ear.
“Breathe with me,” he said softly.
Jessa tried to calm herself, his soothing voice helping her. She breathed with him, her tears easing as he soothed her.
“I love you,” she said. “I miss you. I know we haven’t been together long...but I got used to sleeping in your arms; I got used to having you here. I miss you so much!”
“It hasn’t been long, but somehow it feels like it’s been longer. I got used to it too. I reached for you when I woke up this morning...I was so disappointed you weren’t next to me,” said Noah.
“I reached for you too. This is horrible, Noah. I miss you like crazy,” she said.
“I know, babe. I miss you like crazy too. I need you with me,” said Noah.
“I’m sorry for hanging up earlier...I didn’t want you to hear how upset I was,” said Jessa.
“I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you, and if you need to cry, you cry. I just want to support you. Just like you supported me last night. We take turns. We’re a team,” said Noah.
Jessa nodded. “I love you so much.”
“I love you so much,” he said.
“Did I really help you last night?” asked Jessa.
“Yes, a lot. And it helped me get through the day too,” said Noah.
“I’m so glad,” said Jessa, happy to hear she’d been able to help him.
“You’re helping me right now too, just by existing and being your wonderful self,” Jessa said. “You’re amazing.”
“I’m glad,” said Noah. “Close your eyes,” he added.
“Why?” asked Jessa.
“Just do it,” he said with a smile.
“Okay,” agreed Jessa with a smile.
“Are they closed?” he asked.
“Yes,” said Jessa.
“Okay, imagine I’m there, and I’m giving you a huge hug,” said Noah.
Jessa smiled, keeping her eyes closed and imagining it just as he said.
“Do I get an imaginary kiss too?” she asked.
“Of course.” He grinned.
“Okay, I imagined it,” said Jessa.
“Thanks for indulging me there. I was hoping to make you feel better,” said Noah.
“You do, every day,” said Jessa. “I better get ready for work,” she murmured, glancing at the time.
“Have a good day, beautiful.”
“I’ll try. Can I talk to you again later this afternoon?” she asked.
“Of course, I’ll talk to you later. I love you,” Noah said.
“I love you too,” said Jessa.
They hung up, and Jessa got ready for the day. She was sad but determined. Noah didn’t want her to be miserable, so she tried her best, for him.
EACH DAY PASSED WITH that routine. They’d call each other for a long talk twice per day, message in between, and took turns being strong for each other. If Noah was having a hard time, Jessa would put on the brave face and help him through, and Noah did the same when Jessa struggled with the separation from him. He’d be strong for her. It was worse in the first week, then they realized that time was passing—four more weeks apart turned into three, then two.
The day that Jessa rang him, excitedly saying she had wrangled five free days into her schedule and was coming to see him, he practically danced around the room.
The night before she was due to arrive, Noah tossed and turned, too excited to properly rest. He then fell into a restless sleep, his alarm set to go pick up Jessa from the airport.
“Noah,” said Jessa, her voice strained on the phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I can’t come...I’m so sorry,” said Jessa.
“Why, Jessa?” he asked, devastated.
“I can’t be there, I wish I could,” said Jessa.
“Jessa...why can’t you come? Did something happen?” he asked.
“No, I just can’t make it. I’m sorry,” said Jessa.
“Jessa...tell me why,” he said, upset.
She didn’t answer, and he tried again.
“Jessa, please,” he said.
“Jessa?”
There was only silence.
Noah woke with a start, the dream all too real in his mind. He checked his phone; there was no phone call with Jessa in his history other than the call last night before she got on her flight. He was breathing harder than normal, the dream having scared him.
He looked at the flight tracker. Jessa’s flight would be landing soon, so he got ready and went to the airport to collect her. He waited in the arrival’s hall, excited to see her but due to the dream, somehow half worried he wouldn’t see her.
When the status of her flight changed to ‘Landed’ on the board he’d been watching, he felt his excitement rise. He waited patiently, knowing she’d need to disembark, collect luggage, and go through customs. He bounced on the balls of his feet, anxious. Noah watched the people coming through the door, his heart sinking when he didn’t see Jessa. As a group of people talking near the door cleared, he finally saw her walking through, rolling a small suitcase behind her, her eyes searching for him. Their eyes met, and she grinned, running to him and throwing her arms around him, letting her suitcase fall.
“Noah,” she said, tearful, holding him tightly.
Noah buried his nose into the crook of her neck, taking her in. He couldn’t speak from emotion. He held her tightly, telling himself not to hold her too tight, not wanting to hurt her in his enthusiasm in seeing her. He stroked a hand through her hair, his hand trailing down her back, needing to touch her.
“I love you,” he said emotionally as he pulled back to look at her, both hands caressing her cheeks.
“I love you more,” said Jessa, tearful.
“Jessa...not true. We love each other the same,” said Noah with a smile.
Jessa smiled and grabbed on to him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shirt. It was several long moments before either of them could let go of the other. Noah kissed her lips as they parted, Jessa pulling him closer.