THE BIG HAMMER: Awww, did you watch?
BROADWAY BABY: I might have caught a period or two.
THE BIG HAMMER: Hot damn! We’ll make a Storm fan out of you yet.
BROADWAY BABY: Yeah…I wouldn’t go that far.
THE BIG HAMMER: We’ll see.
BROADWAY BABY: Your own twin doesn’t root for your team…what makes you think you can convert me?
THE BIG HAMMER: *GIF of Stephan Colbert saying, “My heart actually hurts when you say that.”*
BROADWAY BABY: I’m pretty sure I’M supposed be the drama queen in this relationship.
THE BIG HAMMER: OMG. Did you FINALLY admit we are ACTUALLY in a relationship?? Good job, baby.
BROADWAY BABY: Oh geez *facepalm emoji*
THE BIG HAMMER: Daily check-in text with my girlfriend.
BROADWAY BABY: Who said I was your girlfriend?
THE BIG HAMMER: Um…that would be you. Remember?
BROADWAY BABY: Can’t say I recall that.
THE BIG HAMMER: *gasp* And you’re the one who memorizes lines for a living???
THE BIG HAMMER: That’s okay, baby. I’ll be that person who hides in the hole in the stage for when you forget. Here’s some proof.
THE BIG HAMMER: *screenshot of past conversation*
BROADWAY BABY: Why doesn’t this surprise me AT ALL?
THE BIG HAMMER: *kissy face emoji*
THE BIG HAMMER: I’m SO ready to come home and sleep in my bed.
BROADWAY BABY: You act like you had away games all week. You have one road game and it’s in Philly.
THE BIG HAMMER: I know, but it’s been a week since I’ve gotten to see you in person and not just on a phone or computer screen. I miss you.
BROADWAY BABY: You know, Mr. Donnelly, you have these moments when you are surprisingly charming.
THE BIG HAMMER: Oh, baby. Can you call me Mr. Donnelly when I get back? That was hot.
BROADWAY BABY: Annnnnndddd…THERE’S the guy I’ve gotten to know.
THE BIG HAMMER: *boomerang of Jase winking*
BROADWAY BABY: Damn Zoey and Ella for telling you how I feel about your winking.
THE BIG HAMMER: Hey, I don’t feel bad for you at all. You may have them, but I have the entire damn Coven.
BROADWAY BABY: What are you doing?
THE BIG HAMMER: Going on a mission for cheesesteaks and fries with Cali and Harrison.
BROADWAY BABY: Should you really be eating that on game day?
THE BIG HAMMER: When in Philly. *shrugging emoji* Plus, anything potato-related makes me think of my girl. What are you doing?
BROADWAY BABY: In Duane Reade.
BROADWAY BABY: *picture of Melody, Zoey, and Ella duck-facing while holding up a variety of ChapSticks*
THE BIG HAMMER: Damn my girl is hot *string of fire emojis*
BROADWAY BABY: *GIF of Justin Timberlake saying, “Oh stop it.”*
THE BIG HAMMER: Make sure you stock up. I plan on spending A LOT of time kissing those lips when I get back.
BROADWAY BABY: I don’t know about that, All-Star. I might need to put them on their own bye week after all the kissing I’ve been doing today.
THE BIG HAMMER: Excuse me??? Want to try that again? **wiggles finger in ear** I’m pretty sure I heard you wrong.
BROADWAY BABY: Lol. We’re texting, not speaking. It would be your eyes you’d need to fix, not your ears.
THE BIG HAMMER: Now’s not the time to be cute. Want to tell me again why you need ChapStick?
BROADWAY BABY: Because my lips are chapped.
BROADWAY BABY: *GIF of Michelle Tanner rolling her eyes and saying, “Duh.”*
THE BIG HAMMER: And what, pray tell, are they chapped from?
BROADWAY BABY: Kissing.
THE BIG HAMMER: Like from kissing your hand, your pillow—hell, a poster or life-sized cardboard cutout of me because you miss me so much??
BROADWAY BABY: Ooo, do they sell life-sized cardboard cutouts of you?
THE BIG HAMMER: Answer the question, Mels.
BROADWAY BABY: Ooo, you called me Mels, not baby. You MUST be serious.
THE BIG HAMMER: ???
BROADWAY BABY: Oh no. Your use of question marks is increasing.
THE BIG HAMMER: Mels????
BROADWAY BABY: A Mels and 4 question marks. Okay, okay, before you run out of characters, although *thinking face emoji* can you run out of characters in a text message? Asking for a friend *crying laughing emoji*
THE BIG HAMMER: MELS?????
BROADWAY BABY: Oooo, shouty capitals. Fine, keep your pants on, Donnelly. I was kissing a man, obvi.
THE BIG HAMMER: Melody, I am THE ONLY person you should be kissing. WTF!
BROADWAY BABY: It’s okay. I promise. Joe’s a really good kisser.
THE BIG HAMMER: MELODY BRIGHTLY!!!!!!!!!
BROADWAY BABY: Oh, full-named. And look at all those pretty exclamation points.
THE BIG HAMMER: Don’t make me rent a car and drive the 2 hours back to the city. I will gladly take the fine for being late to kick someone’s ass. I DO NOT find this funny. Who the fuck is Joe??????
BROADWAY BABY: My husband. He made sure to make an honest woman out of me.
THE BIG HAMMER: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!
BROADWAY BABY: Remove the hockey stick from your butt, Donnelly. I’m talking about Joe DiMaggio. You know, my second husband.
THE BIG HAMMER: OH MY GOD. You’ve been talking about the musical THIS ENTIRE TIME?
BROADWAY BABY: Maybe…