EIGHTEEN
I feel lighter today, no thanks to my inner slut, and all the thanks to Nathan’s fabulous fingers. I couldn’t fight the pull, the potent chemistry that attracts me to him. The moment his lips hit my skin, I was done, waving the white flag in the air. I had craved to feel him since the night we kissed.
Except, I want nothing to do with him. Clearly, my mouth and body are on opposite sides of the spectrum.
I’ve been at war with myself all day. Work has been a blur. When thoughts of Nathan creep in, I try forcing myself to think of something else—anything else but him. Did you know if you replace the “w” with a “t” in what, where, and when you’d actually have the answers? Does a cat ever wonder why you don’t lick yourself? Are dogs only man’s best friend and not woman’s?
Yep. That’s what I’ve been thinking about, besides all the motivational quotes on the walls. But even those swing it back to Nathan.
Don’t wait for the opportunity. Create it.
If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.
Sigh…
Parking my ass at the end of the picnic table bench, I close my eyes and take a few breaths of fresh air. I’ve got to get myself together. I decide to call and check on Aimee since she took a few days extra off work.
“Hey, girl,” she answers, sounding…cheerful?
“Hey. How are you feeling?” I ask.
“At this very moment, I’m great. The next hour may present a different emotion though. I’ve been all over the place from hating the cocksucker to fighting myself to not call him and cry into the phone.”
I never told her what William and I talked about the day he moved out. I didn’t see the point in confusing her shattered heart even worse. I mean, how can a man be so sad over something he caused on purpose?
“Ah, heartbreak and the emotions that come with it. I hate love.”
She giggles. “I don’t hate love, but I do hate William. Funny how easily the line between love and hate is so thin. So, what’s up with you and Nathan. I overheard you telling Shyla you had a date with him yesterday?”
“I don’t want to discuss that with you while you’re going through—”
“Just because my heart is broken doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about someone getting into yours. I’m mature enough to know life goes on. I’m okay. Really, I am,” she reassures me.
I take a slow swallow of my water. “For starters, he tricked me. I assumed I was taking him out to eat, but turns out he cooked and we ate at his place. It was premeditated.”
My stomach flutters remembering how romantic is was. Dammit.
“Did you two talk things out?”
“You really like him. Don’t you?”
“From what you’ve told us about him, yeah. Other than the doucheness he’s pulled. But since you’ve met him, you’ve been a different happy.”
“Up until I learned he couldn’t be upfront with me because he didn’t trust me. It felt like a betrayal. I get why he did it, but since I was on the receiving end of the deceit, it hurts.”
“Did he get to explain himself?”
“Yes. He apologized, admitted he made a mistake and then gave me an orgasm,” I say.
“Wait. Back up. I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say he gave you an orgasm? Did you two…”
I shake my head grinning like a fool. “No, but let’s just say his fingers are magical.”
“Yes!” she squeals. “I bet you feel like a million bucks now. It’s been what? Years? You’re probably a virgin again by now.”
I blow a laugh under my breath. “It has not been years and I really hope you know that’s not how virginity works. I do feel like a million bucks, but it was a mistake and it won’t happen again. We’re two different people, on two different levels, living two completely opposite lives.”
She sighs a frustrated breath. “You can ruin a wet dream. Why are you fighting it? Enjoy the ride.”
“I know better. It’ll end in heartache because he’s too easy to fall for. Think about it, Aimee. I had a heartache for a week when I found out he didn’t believe I was trustworthy.”
“Ugh!” she groans. “You’ve always been the one with emotional strings attached to your va-jayjay. You were the sensible one while Shyla and I totally whored around.”
“You two were not whores,” I crack up.
“Brooklyn. While your nose was in books, mine was in a pillow with my ass in the air. From seventeen until William, I knew if I set foot in a church I’d spontaneously burst into flames from my debauchery.” She giggles at her joke. “So yes. You were the smart good girl and I was the whore. We won’t start on Shyla since she’s not here to add perfect detail.”
I’d argue with her, but she’s telling the truth. Those two weren’t the nasty sluts roaming the hallways at school to pounce on your boyfriend, but they didn’t mind jumping into bed with different guys. They were like catholic school girls—innocent on the outside, wild on the inside. They worked, were A and B students, but damn if they didn’t like to party.
“I’m glad I grew out of that,” she continues. “And lucky I didn’t end up with some STD or a baby…or both! I was such an idiot high on dick. Anyway. Why not give Nathan a do over? See what he’s about because opposites attract and all that fancy jazz.”
Instinctively, I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know. We’ll see. I have to go, though, lunch is over. I’ll call you when I get home. Love you.”
“Love you.”
* * *
The rest of the day was pretty easy and there weren’t a lot of orders today…oddly. After work, I came home, ate, showered, and curled up into my lounger with my e-reader to help get rid of the thoughts of Nathan.
The sun set hours ago and the night sky fell around me. Songs from birds were replaced with a love song by a toad in the distance. Nathan’s name on my phone causes my heart to race.
Nathan: Are you up?
I debate on replying. I really don’t want to in fear that I’ll be sucked right back into his grasp, but I really want to in hopes I will. I hate my heart right now.
Brooklyn: Yes.
Seconds later my phone rings and I answer. “It’s ten thirty at night. Kind of late for a big businessman like you to be up. Isn’t it?” Yep. Full on sarcasm.
“Not when I’m just leaving the office.”
He’s just leaving? It makes my heart hurt a little for him.
“Would you care for company?” he asks.
My head jerks back causing my face to pinch up.
“You’d sleep great,” he adds.
“Although I appreciate your worry for my sleep and well-being, I’m going to pass. The last thing I need is company to entertain. I don’t plan on staying up much longer,” I reply.
A hum, deep, throaty, and sexy as hell comes through the phone, reminding me of the look in his eyes as he pumped his fingers into me. Heat rushes my limbs, pooling at my core.
“I’m leaving town later this week and coming back Friday. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?”