He shook his head. “That’s not what this is for me, Nina.” He cleared his throat. “Is that what this is for you?”
“No,” I said it too fast and too loud.
He seemed desperate to relieve me of my immediate embarrassment. “You have to know I have feelings for you.”
The butterflies in my stomach exploded like a million fireworks, the burn spreading throughout my entire body. I felt shaky and calm and on the verge of tears.
“Whoa,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing.” He stood and kneeled next to my bed, taking my left hand in his. He stared at it for a moment, then lifted it to his lips, closing his eyes. “It’s hard to explain this because of what the accident took from you. It feels selfish to say, but the accident changed my life. It’s awful what you’ve gone through, and at the same time I couldn’t be more grateful to have been in that cab with you, and to be here with you now. The way I feel… It isn’t pity. If I feel sorry for you at all, it’s because it’s my fault you’re—”
I pulled my hand from his grasp and shook my head slowly. “Don’t say it.” I said. “Don’t you dare. I won’t let you think that about yourself.”
“It’s hard to explain now, but if you agree to see me tonight…” he began.
I grabbed his hand in both of mine, squeezing. His skin was so warm, so soft, it was hard not to want to touch him all the time.
I took in a deep breath and blew it out, suddenly overcome with emotion. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“Yeah?” he asked, beaming.
My smile couldn’t be contained. “Yeah.”
He leaned over and kissed my temple, his more-than-warm lips lingering there for a few moments. “I’ll let Beth know,” he said softly into my ear. “I’ll be back in a few hours with dinner.”
I nodded, watched him leave, and then relaxed my head against my pillows, pounding my fists against the mattress in excitement. Holy shit, I thought. I have a date with the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in real life, and he just said he has feelings for me! What?
I texted Beth to thank her for plotting with Jared and then tapped out a list of items like a razor and my favorite perfume. I put my phone down, and then—silence. Oh, no.
I worked on another paper, I finished homework, I polished my nails, and I still had hours before Jared’s return. He didn’t say what time, but he did say dinner and cooking, and I assumed that would be at the earliest five o’clock. That was three hours away.
I leaned my head back and blew a strawberry through my lips. Patience was a virtue I did not possess. Amusement park lines, doctor’s appointments, college acceptance letters—all enough to drive me insane. Waiting on a date with Jared felt very much like torture.
Beth rounded the corner holding a tote in one hand and a garment bag in the other.
I clapped my hands twice above my head and then held my palms forward to praise Beth’s very existence. “Perfect timing!”
“Jared texted me and said I should head on over just in case you were feeling anxious. I have everything you asked for except the blue dress.”
“Probably a good thing. I don’t think it will go with my cast,” I said.
“Shower first?” Beth asked.
“We’ll need to call the nurse.”
Beth glanced at the white board. “Misty today. Oh, I like her.”
“Me, too.” I looked up at her. “He’s cooking.”
She grinned from ear to ear. “I know.”
“What else you do you know?”
She pressed her lips together before she spoke. “That’s all. Besides he’s so into you it’s ridiculous. I could listen to him talk about you all day. Chad likes him, too. Ryan … not so much. It’s not hard to see why.”
“Why?” I asked.
Beth rolled her eyes.
Ryan had visited me almost as much as Beth and Kim. We’d created our own game, talking to each other in commercial slogans, and we played cards a lot. Ryan was good to his core, but he didn’t trust Jared. “What?”
“It bothers him that Jared shot that guy. He says it’s weird that the cops aren’t investigating. And he worries about you. He says Jared is taking advantage. We all think it’s just because he has a thing for you, and Jared is in the way.” She giggled.
“He has a thing for me? No, he doesn’t.”
“Oh, Nina. Really?”
“If Jared hadn’t shot that man…”
“I know,” Beth said, suddenly solemn. “We all know. It’s crazy how they’ve gone after your family. Does your dad deal with the mafia or something? I mean, I wasn’t going to ask, but since you brought it up…”
“You brought it up,” I said.
“Oh. You’re right,” she said, blinking. “But, seriously. Didn’t you say your daddy moved his security team onto your property? I’m surprised someone ain’t at your door right now. I’d be scared outta my mind.” Her Southern twang became thicker when she got excited or upset, and she was full-blown Okie at the moment.
“Jack’s handled it, I’m sure. How are things with Chad?” I asked.
She giggled, her whole expression resetting. “Moving along. It’s so weird that we started talking in the waiting room the night of your accident. Is trauma bonding a weird way to start dating?”
I shrugged. “I’ll let you know.”
“Oh! No. No way. That’s not what tonight is. That man is twitterpated.”
“He’s what?” I asked.
She laughed. “Didn’t you watch cartoons when you were little?”
“Not really. My mother didn’t allow it.”
She made a face. “Weird, my television raised me. You look nervous. Why are you nervous? You’ve been on first dates before.”
“Not with Jared Ryel. I don’t know why he’s hanging around. He’s perfect. Do you know how many times he’s seen me wake up, my hair matted to the side of my head, probably dried drool around my mouth. God knows what he’s seen while I’ve been unconscious.”
“Well, whatever it was, he’s falling for it pretty hard.”
I wrinkled my nose and lowered my chin, trying to hide another obnoxious smile. “You think so?”
“He’s here every day, Nina. Every day. He brings you fresh flowers every week. And now he’s cooking for you, all your favorites, and bringing it all here.”
“I told him he didn’t have to,” I said, feeling my insecurities flare. “What if he has these feelings because I almost died? He says it’s not pity, but what if he…”
“Nina?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut your pie hole, I have work to do.”
I frowned. “Don’t interrupt my anxiety attack. It’s rude.”