“Do you thinks it sucks for Lolls to have such a gorg little sister?”
“Nah. I’d rather have a bf like Steven than be on the list.”
“Same.”
Newly awash in so much information, Dustin, not wanting to give either girl reason to be suspicious, artfully changed the subject and then left the party twenty minutes later. He chose to walk home across the snowy park so he could replay the night in his head, marveling at how every choice he’d made in his entire life led him to that serendipitous encounter on the roof. As much as he tried to stop himself from going there, near the end of the walk he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to walk into his prom with Kimmie S., the third hottest sophomore in all of Manhattan.
IV
School had been back in session for almost two weeks, and Dustin had seen Steven six times and had been unable to find the courage to talk to him about Kimmie directly. When he thought about why this was, all he could come up with was that he didn’t know if he wanted to hear the truth. Because if he were to learn he had only a miniscule chance in hell with her, where would that leave him? But as Dustin crossed the park in the late afternoon for tutoring, he thought about what he’d just discussed in therapy. Today was lucky number seven and he was finally going to grow a pair and confess to Steven his love for Kimmie.
Dustin knew something was wrong as soon as he stepped into the apartment, and Steven embraced him in an awkwardly long bro-hug. He then said, “Dude, you can’t even believe my day. Come in. Come in. Good you’re here.”
Dustin’s first thought was Steven was on drugs. While getting himself some water in the kitchen, he checked his friend’s eyes. Steven’s pupils looked normal given the amount of light in the room. Dustin’s older brother was currently in rehab, so he had some experience with people on drugs, and though he knew Steven used, he was certain Steven wasn’t currently high.
To Dustin’s surprise, Steven settled down in the formal dining room at a table that could comfortably seat twenty-four people. He made a big show of opening his physics textbook, telling Dustin they could start working on his problem set right after they had a shot. Ordinarily, Dustin would have refused, but he needed to steel his nerves. The booze was surprisingly smooth and when Dustin said as much, Steven replied, “It fucking well should be, this shit is ninety-five hundred bucks a bottle!”
When Dustin heard this, he shook his head, grabbed the bottle, and did some quick calculations. “We just imbibed seven hundred and sixty dollars’ worth of booze!”
“And we’re doin’ it again!” Steven said, pouring two more shots.
Dustin, unable to deal with his growing anxiety, blurted out, “Is it absolutely impossible to believe Lolly’s little sister would ever go out with me?” and then downed his second shot.
Steven sat back in his chair, let out a slow wolf whistle, and said, “Dustin, you dirty dirty direwolf, you.” (A love of Game of Thrones was one of the few things the two boys had in common.)
Dustin ignored the whistle and kept going. “Ever since I met Kimmie on New Year’s Eve she’s all I can think about. My father caught me watching her ice dancing videos on my iPad and now is probably wondering if I’m gay. Thank god I met her after I got into MIT, because that girl is a GPA-wrecker.”
“Is that nerd-speak for crazy hot? Me likey.” Steven laughed at his friend’s outburst, set the front legs back down on the floor, and then said quite seriously, “Real deal, I think Kimmie would be into a smart guy like you. Plus, girls high-key freak out over the status that comes with dating seniors.” Steven paused, which Dustin instinctively knew meant trouble.
“But…?” Dustin prompted.
Steven nodded and continued, “But … she’s currently caught the attention of Count Vronsky and may be a little under his spell right now. But hang tight, ’cause no girl lasts long with him.” Steven was sorry to give his friend the bad news, but he felt he owed it to Dustin to clue him in on who he was up against.
Dustin furrowed his brow, digesting the news. “Please tell me ‘Count’ is a nickname and not his actual official title.” Steven told his pal that it was indeed a nickname, but one born from a rumor that Vronsky’s father’s lineage could be traced back to a legit Russian royalty. The second theory on why he was known as “the Count” was because it took five minutes for him to count all the girls who had dropped their panties for him, but Steven kept this part to himself, instead adding, “But, seriously, Lolls thinks the Count’s a passing fancy and you could be the slow and steady tortoise that wins Kimmie for a prize.”
“Race,” Dustin corrected. “The slow and steady tortoise wins the race, not a prize.”
“Same thing!” Steven countered back in all seriousness. “You gotta assume if you win a race you’d also win a prize, yes? Dustin, my friend, I’ve got another expression for you … ‘Lighten the fuck up, dude!’ This is some real-ass life shit we’re talkin’ about, not English lit!”
It was Dustin’s turn to laugh at Steven’s comment and at himself. It was in Dustin’s nature to be inordinately precise about details, which served him well in school, but made him seem uptight socially. Dustin asked, “Hey, why would Lolly know I have a tortoise in the race at all?”
Steven admitted he had been aware of Dustin’s interest in Kimmie for a while now. Lolly was the one who put it together after joining the two boys during their study session last week. She told Steven that Dustin had awkwardly managed to bring up Kimmie’s name three times while they worked on Steven’s calc homework, which could only mean one thing. Hearing this caused Dustin to drop his head to the table and thump his forehead a few times. Steven put a hand on Dustin’s shoulder and promised his friend he was willing to help him with his Kimmie quest in any possible way. Dustin thanked him profusely and said he’d repay the favor any way he could.
Steven, emboldened by their bonding session, decided it was now his turn to confess his own girl troubles. Dustin listened to everything Steven said without interruption, only raising an eyebrow when Steven admitted that Lolly happened to be in the very same apartment with them at this very same moment.
Dustin chose his words prudently before giving his opinion on Steven’s tale of woe, but no matter how hard he tried to find a way to side with his friend, he couldn’t do it. He strongly disapproved of Steven’s cheating on Lolly. It made no sense to Dustin that any man could make a case where it was okay to cheat on his girlfriend. The way Dustin saw it, why bother to make a commitment to someone if you had no intention of honoring it? Sure, he knew that plenty of boys cheated on their girlfriends with the reasoning that their girlfriends were holy terrors, but Lolly was no such terror. Steven tried to explain to Dustin that staying faithful was harder than it looked, but even as he said it out loud he knew his words were lost on him. He also knew that staying faithful for Dustin wouldn’t be difficult, as he was made of sturdier moral stock than himself, for sure. And Dustin, who was somewhat of a rookie when it came to kicking game, probably had fewer temptations to deal with in general.
“Dude, it’s not like I don’t have banger’s remorse, ’cause I do,” Steven admitted.