They also gave Violet a job and let me pay her generously through their internal finance department.
“Atlas?” Nicola pokes her head through the door with a warm smile on her face. “You should go home, you look tired. Don’t worry, I’m working the night shift, I’ll be sure to look after her.”
Nicola was one of the nurses that put in serious overtime looking after Lianne. I’ll always be thankful for her. “No,” I say, settling into the chair next to Violet’s bed. “I’m good. Thanks though.”
She leans over and places a warm hand on my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Atlas.” Her hand curls into a small fist and she punches my arm lightly. “Even if you do an evil job.”
I force a smile and roll my eyes. “Someones gotta do it.”
“Alright, I’ll be back in a little later, okay? Just give me a buzz if you need anything, or if Violet wakes up again.”
“Will do. Thanks, Nicola”
She clicks the door shut and I turn my attention back to Violet.
She looks so small, especially with the neck brace and all the tubes hanging out of her. Just one look at her sends crippling guilt through my body like a nuclear shock wave.
If I hadn’t been such an asshole… if I hadn’t kicked her out… she’d probably be laying in my arms on the couch right now, not drugged up in a hospital bed.
They say you never truly know what you had until it’s gone. And they were right.
But I’m hoping with all of my heart that I get lucky. That she isn’t gone from my life, and that she’ll give me another chance.
I wrap my fingers around her slender hand. It’s small and warm.
“I promise you, Vi,” I murmur, rubbing my thumb over hers. “I’ll never leave you again.”
32
Violet
Lianne is the first person I’ve seen who isn’t wearing a white coat in three days.
She pokes her head around the bedroom door, a large bouquet of violet’s in her hand.
“Oh, Violet,” She gasps, before wincing at the sound of her own loud voice. “Sorry,” she whispers, hovering in the doorway.
“Lianne,” I croak, managing a grin that I hope doesn’t make me look like I’m in pain. “Come in.”
She tiptoes across the plush carpet, taking in the all the machines crowding my hospital bed. “Jesus, this is a little excessive, isn’t it? It looks like a totally different room.” Her warm lips touch my cheek. “It’s so good to see you, Vi.”
“It’s good to see you, too.” And it really is. Lianne was always so nice to me, that I felt guilty not having the chance to say a proper goodbye.
“How you feeling?”
“A lot better, actually,” I prop myself up on my pillow. “I’m happy to have my voice back. Well, a bit of it, at least.” I try and laugh, but it comes out as an inhuman gargle.
“It’s been boring around here without you,” she says, squeezing my hand. “Hopefully you’ll stay for a little longer this time, hey?”
God knows. I haven’t seen Donnacha since the hospital, and I have a lot of unanswered questions. “Maybe,” I reply simply.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see the door opening again, but no one emerges. Only when I shift my gaze down a lot lower do I see a head of red ringlets and a toothy grin poking out from underneath it. “Daisy,” Lianne scolds, “go back to your room. Coralie?” she calls a little louder, craning her neck in the direction of the door, before muttering under her breath: “That childminder can be a little scatty, sometimes.”
“It’s okay,” I lift my feeble hand to beckon Daisy. “You can come in.”
She doesn’t need to be asked twice.
“Daddy said you were sick,” she says, staring at the tubes in my hand in bewilderment.
“A little bit, yeah.” I reply. “But I’ll get better real soon, sweetie.”
“Good, because I want to show my new doll, but daddy said I have to wait until you’re better.”
I can’t help but laugh at her mix of enthusiasm and innocence. “I can’t wait.”
A creak of a floorboard on the landing, and all of our eyes flit towards the door. Lianne gives me another kiss on the cheek, before taking Daisy’s hand. “Come on love, let’s give Violet some peace, okay?”
“Wait!” She flusters, pulling something out of the pocket of her floral pinafore. Reaching through the side rails of the bed, she unfurls her hand and rests it on my thigh. “I made you something.”
I can feel the emotion catching in my throat as I pick up the macaroni necklace. It’s covered in blobs of pink glitter that is already dusting onto my white bed sheets. “Thank you so much, Daisy,” I say quietly. Then I lift up my sleeve and pull back my hospital wristband. “Look, I still have the bracelet on.”
The excitement spreading on her face is so big I think she might explode. Lianne lifts her up to plant a clumsy kiss on my cheek, and then they head to the door. When Lianne pulls it open, Donnacha is there, darkening the frame.
The butterflies spring into action in my stomach, acting a lot more alive than I am. Without saying a word, he clicks the door shut behind him and hovers a few feet from the bottom of my bed.
“You’re awake,” he smiles sadly. “Every time I check on you you’ve been out like a light.”
I suddenly feel vulnerable, covered in just a hospital gown with no bra on. I pull the bedding up under my chin. “Yeah,” I say quietly. I’m feeling a lot better.”
“Good. Listen — there’s a guy who keeps turning up in the lobby, demanding to come and see you. Felix, I think the concierge said?”
Oh, Felix. He must be worried sick. “My best friend. Please, let him in next time he comes over.”
“I’ll put him on the approved list.”
Silence dances between us, heavy with a thousand things that need to be said. Questions that need answers.
I start. “How did you know he was at my apartment?” I can’t bear the thought of letting his name roll off my tongue.
Donnacha rubs a large hand over his jawline and lets out a weary sigh. “I’ve, uh, had a few of my men keep an eye on you. I know you went back to your apartment in the ghetto. Just wanted to make sure you were safe. I promise you, he won’t be bothering you anymore.”
Despite his ominous words, I want to protest, and tell him that stalking me is a huge invasion of privacy. But really, I’m flattered that he cared so much. And besides, where would I be now if he hadn’t had tabs on me?
It just doesn’t match up with his actions on the morning he kicked me out.
I swallow the information and think of what else I need to say. There were so many questions festering in my mind during the month we spent apart. All conjured up during hour-long showers staring into nothingness, and sleepless nights spent tossing and turning.
“Well, thanks, I guess. For all of this,” my feeble hand gestures to the room. “I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible, promise.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about, Violet,” he says, striding across the length of the bed until he’s right next to me. He’s smells like the fresh air from outside. “I don’t want you to go.”