It was lovely.
“What do you mean, make it right?” Simon asked.
“We lied,” Alex said. “I told you that, I think.”
“Yes you did. But not all of it. You all pretended to want one thing when you really wanted another. So you tell each other the truth, right?”
“Or….” Oh. “Or we tell the people we wronged the truth,” Alex admitted. “Barty wanted Lachlan—he had to admit that to Lachlan. Josh and Kate wanted a baby without worrying about all the wedding hoopla first. They had to talk about their relationship and what they expected. Dante and Cully—” He swallowed. “—we all know what they wanted—”
“Each oth—”
Alex put two fingers on his mouth. “Jordan said it’s probably best if we don’t say it. I agree. Their truth is so fundamental that not saying it put a rift in their world. They need to make it happen.”
“Then what was the spell for last night?” Simon asked.
“All we want to do is talk to them!” Alex said. “Believe it or not, what you saw in there was an improvement. They can actually hear each other, even if they’re not in the same room at the same time. God, before last night, they were just… searching for each other, constantly. It was awful.”
Simon nodded and sort of swayed with Alex in his arms. Alex snuggled closer, waiting for the inevitable question.
“What did you ask for, Alex?”
He sighed. Well, they were going to have to have this discussion anyway.
“Passion,” he said. “I… I mean, this morning was a first for me. I told you that. But I’ve never been able to get… I don’t know. Carried away. Lost in the moment. I used to get jealous of girls who would get knocked up in college. Stupid, I know. But I’d think, ‘At least they wanted something more than they wanted to keep their dignity. At least they know what passion is.’ And I could never forget that the person who was kissing me was going to notice my bad breath in the morning or my sweat, even if I’d showered, or the mole on the inside of my thigh—”
“Ooh, I can’t wait to see that!” Simon murmured, and Alex laughed, like he was meant to.
“I never felt so strongly about someone that I could forget all of the embarrassing things that went with getting close.”
“Or,” Simon said, dropping a kiss on his forehead, “you never cared about someone enough to let them touch you.”
Alex’s mouth fell slowly open, and for a moment, all he could hear was his own heartbeat in his ears. “I-I what?”
“You needed an emotional connection to make love.” Simon kissed the corner of his eye and then his cheek, and Alex shuddered, wanting him some more. “You kept thinking about passion like it was a sex act, when it’s not. It’s committing fully to a moment. You’ve done that with your friends. Hell, you’ve done that with their dog! But….” He took Alex’s mouth for a brief, sweet kiss and pulled away.
“But?” Alex prompted.
“But you couldn’t do it in bed because you didn’t care about the person enough to let them see you.”
Alex squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Why sorry?” Simon kissed his jaw by his ear.
“Because you’re right. I do care about you. I’ve been falling in love with you for three years, and the first time you really saw me was three days ago at lunch!”
Simon reached under his bottom and hoisted, and Alex took the leap, wrapping his legs around Simon’s waist and nuzzling at his neck, his jaw, his earlobe, just as Simon had done to him.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Simon mumbled, his arms strong and his steps sure as he carried Alex through the house to his bedroom. “Because I was falling in love with you too.”
Alex captured his mouth then, and Simon kissed him, hard, until they made it to the bedroom and Alex found himself tumbled onto his back in his own bed.
Aha!
THEY both scrambled out of their clothes, and Simon was grateful. He could have done it—he could have seduced Alex Kennedy again, kissing every inch of his skin, nibbling his arousal points until Simon came again and again just from foreplay, but Alex struggling with his shoes and wrestling with his jeans and then his socks, leaving everything in a muddle somewhere on his floor, meant he wanted Simon, badly.
So badly he wasn’t afraid of looking needy or letting down his guard or seeming silly or any of the things that had gotten between him and long-forgotten suitors Simon was planning to leave in the dust.
When they were both finally naked, Simon muttered, “Lube, Alex, please tell me you’ve got some!”
“And condoms,” Alex said hopefully. “They’re in the end table.”
Simon laughed softly. “That’s my Boy Scout.”
Alex, who had peeled down his covers so he could slide into bed, hid his face in a pillow. “I wasn’t going to be a virgin forever!” he exclaimed, and Simon had to smile because Alex was admitting the truth when it no longer mattered.
“With your body? I hope not!” Simon laughed. He palmed the lubricant and the strip of six condoms and shoved them under the pillow as he climbed under the covers too. “I need to get tested,” he said, gazing into Alex’s eyes soberly. “But I’m pretty conscientious with condoms—male or female. We won’t need to use these for long.”
Alex smiled shyly. “You, uh, take what I say on faith. That’s… that’s nice.”
Simon shrugged. “I believe you teleported your dog and I’m not going to believe you’re a virgin? I try not to be an asshole too many times in a week.”
“You were never an asshole,” Alex said, his eyes practically glowing. “Just awkward.”
Gah! So sweet! Simon would take it. Simon took Alex’s mouth too, and his kisses weren’t getting less potent as Alex grew more and more sure of himself, of what they were doing, of why it was good and right.
Simon pulled back enough to roll, his body covering Alex’s, the feeling of that lean strength intoxicating. “Not awkward now,” he breathed, smiling into those green eyes.
Alex bit his lip, so vulnerable but there, with him, in the moment. “Not done yet,” he said.
Simon chuckled and bit his chin playfully. “Have faith.” Alex gasped, and Simon moved down that stubbled chin, nibbling on his Adam’s apple and down his neck. This time he wasn’t going to let Alex distract him; he wanted to kiss everything, touch everything, find the places that made Alex gasp and the ones that made him giggle.
He reached Alex’s nipples and pulled one into his mouth, laving it with his tongue, and Alex gasped again. He clenched one hand in Simon’s hair, not hard but urgently, and Simon chuckled, moving to the other side. Alex whimpered this time, arching up into him. But Simon took his time. He wanted Alex aroused to the point of brainlessness when it came time for Simon to penetrate him. Not that they wouldn’t survive a fit of the giggles, but it would be hard on Alex’s faith in love and sex, and Simon didn’t want that.
Passion—Alex wanted passion, and Simon was the first man he’d ever found that with. Simon didn’t want him to second-guess the two of them. Not here, not now.