Like someone else I know.
“How’s it goin’, old man?” Romeo stretched his neck over the fence, pushing his muzzle into Walt’s sternum.
“Mighty fine.” He scratched Romeo’s head. “You must’ve had a great ride. This old boy’s sweating. I saw you riding the fence line this morning like a bat outta hell. You a’right?”
“’Course.”
Giving Nick a once-over, he cocked a brow. “You kinda look fit to be tied. I thought it might have something to do with that pretty little filly friend of yours out running with young Helms this morning.”
Nick shook his head. “What are you doing, sitting on your porch waiting for her to jog by now that you know she’s here?”
“Hell yes.” Walt laughed. “Nah. I was hanging an old rug out on the rails when they ran by. So, that look in your eyes has nothing to do with Trixie?”
“I didn’t say that.” He looked away and said, “She drives me crazy.”
“A good woman will do that to a man. Bet you drive her batty, too. You’re two of the most stubborn kids I know. But you’re a good man, helping her follow her dreams. When she stopped by yesterday, she told me about how you swooped into town and offered her a chance to get away from it all for a while.”
“That’s what friends do.”
“Is it?” Walt looked at him curiously. “How long is she here for?”
“A month. She needs time to buy the horses, and I’m going to help her with some initial training while she gets her legs under her. She’s also going to pick Tempe’s brain about a few things. It takes time.”
“Sure,” Walt said, as if he wasn’t buying it. He’d always been able to see past Nick’s smoke and mirrors. “That all there is to it?”
“I don’t like the way her brothers give her shit about the business she’s starting.”
“I think Jilly might say that’s the pot callin’ the kettle black.”
“Not in this case. I supported Jilly’s business efforts one hundred percent.” He’d even lent her money at the beginning, when she’d hit a rough patch and hadn’t wanted to go to their parents.
“That you did.” Walt took off his hat and wiped his brow. “A month is a long stretch. That gonna cramp your style?”
He wondered what Walt would think about a little nakedness between friends. “Guess we’ll see. You need anything? Help around here? Groceries?”
Walt set his hat on his head. “Not unless you’ve got a magic wand to turn back time a few decades. This aging shit is for the birds.”
“I wish I did just for you. I’ll stop by next week.”
“Sounds good. Bring my girl with you.”
My girl. Walt got along with Trixie as well as Nick did. Hell, who wouldn’t? “Will do.”
Nick and Romeo headed home. Jealousy prickled the back of his neck at the sight of Trixie and Travis talking in the driveway by Travis’s truck. She was wearing another pair of ridiculously small spandex shorts and a bright yellow sports bra. Bet Travis loves that. The damn knot in his chest felt like it was made of barbed wire, twisting painfully and tangling with shards of guilt. The reality that he might have screwed up their friendship brought a harsher stab of pain. He stilled, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. He couldn’t imagine a life without Trixie in it.
Forcing his legs to move, he led Romeo to the side of the barn to cool off, cursing himself for not being a stronger man and walking away before they’d done anything last night. He wondered if it was possible to regret and not regret something at once. He regretted risking their friendship, but he didn’t regret being close to Trixie.
He was so fucked up.
How could he be the same guy who had caught Zev stealing Beau’s condoms when he was a teenager and had dragged his ass out to a drugstore and made him buy his own? Zev had been seeing Carly back then, and Nick had lectured him about the proper way to treat her. He’d told Zev that if he was old enough to have sex, he was old enough to buy condoms to protect Carly and that having sex came with a shitload of responsibility beyond preventing STDs and unplanned pregnancies. He’d told his younger brother to treat Carly with respect, make sure she felt safe and special, not to be a dick afterward, and that if he ran his mouth about it, he’d have Nick to deal with.
Where the hell was that Nick now?
He’d spent the last decade having only meaningless sex. He’d done what he’d had to in order to survive with his sanity intact, and he’d always kept the women he was with safe and had let them know where he’d stood before he’d even kissed them. But now that he was thinking about it, now that who he was had affected his relationship with Trixie, it pissed him off that he’d acted like that.
That wasn’t the young man he’d been before all that shit went down, and it sure as hell wasn’t the grown man he wanted to be.
He tried to push those thoughts away as he tugged off his sweaty shirt and tossed it over the fence. He removed Romeo’s saddle as Romeo rehydrated. After putting the saddle away, he retrieved the sweat scraper and brush. He had a formal wash area for the horses, but Romeo hated it. Nick got that. He’d shower outdoors with the hose, too, if he could.
When he returned with the supplies, he led Romeo out of the corral and tied his lead to the fence. As he tugged the hose over, Travis honked, waving out the window as he drove away.
Trixie was jogging down the driveway toward him, waving and shouting, “I want to help!”
She didn’t sound like she regretted what they’d done, and her infectious smile sure didn’t look like she wanted to kick his ass. Damn, that was lucky…and confusing. Why was his head messed up if hers wasn’t? Did she really want to just be friends with benefits? No strings, no questions, no hurt feelings? That was great, but what the hell was he supposed to do with his own tangled emotions?
“You took Romeo out this morning?” Trixie toed off her sneakers and peeled off her socks, as if it were just another day on the ranch.
“Yeah, on the trails. I’m just going to cool him down.” He picked up the hose, and she hurried over in her bare feet. She was too damn cute.
“Good. I could use some cooling down, too.” She grabbed the hose and took a long drink from it. “Ah. I needed that.” She sprayed her arms and bent over to wet her legs.
Flashes of last night flew through his mind at record speed—her face contorted with pleasure as she came against the fridge, the sexy smirk when she’d told him to take off her boots, and her gorgeous naked body bent over the counter, her beautiful bare ass there for the taking. God she had a gorgeous ass. He wanted to get up close and even more personal with it.
Cold water hit his stomach, jarring him from his stupor. “Hey!”
Trixie laughed. “You looked like you needed cooling down.”
Yeah, no shit. He had to get this off his chest. “Listen, Trix, about last night—”
“Stop,” she said sharply. “We’re good. We don’t need to talk about it.”
Surprised, he said, “You sure?”
“Yes, see?” She sprayed him with the hose again, laughing.
“Give me that damn thing.” He yanked the hose from her, still conflicted, but mildly relieved. He sprayed the horse’s legs and walked around him as he sprayed the rest of his body. Like with so many other things, he and Trixie had long ago fallen into sync when they bathed horses, each washing one side. Trixie began brushing Romeo’s head and face while Nick lifted one of Romeo’s legs to spray his hoof.