There was no answer.
She climbed from the bed, and Pugsly followed her into the bathroom. After using the toilet, she found their clothes piled on the chair in the corner. She put on her underwear and Nick’s T-shirt, which fell to the middle of her thighs, and went in search of him, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment over his leaving her alone in the middle of the night.
The rest of the house was dark. “Nick?”
Answered with silence, she peered out the patio doors, but it was too dark to see. As soon as she opened the door, she heard his guitar, and felt a tug at her heart. As she stepped onto the cold slate patio, she saw him sitting on the hill with his back to her, Goldie and Rowdy by his side. She listened to him playing the guitar, soaking in the sight of him in the moonlight. The way they’d come together had felt too good to be true, and she stood frozen for a moment, wishing, hoping, praying this was the beginning of what she knew would be the best coupling, the most supportive and fun friendship, and the deepest, rawest, most fulfilling love known to man, and not the end of everything.
Pugsly barked and scampered off the patio. Rowdy and Goldie darted toward them, and Nick looked over. With a gulp of courage and a heavy dose of hope, Trixie went to see where she stood.
Goldie and Rowdy ran off to play, and Pugsly chased them into the darkness.
Nick continued playing the guitar, watching her close the distance between them, which made her nervous. He lifted his chin and said, “Hey.”
Hey? No darlin’ or Trix? Her stomach knotted, and she did her best to hide the hurt. “Hi. Are you okay?”
He nodded, but his expression wasn’t okay. It was…something else. “I needed some air, so I took care of the animals and thought I’d sit out here. Hope I didn’t wake you.”
“You didn’t.” She sat beside him and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them to feel less vulnerable. It didn’t work. Despite how terrified she was of his answers, she had to know where they stood. “I know tonight was a lot, Nick. If you regret it, please tell me. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
He set the guitar in his lap. “I don’t regret anything I’ve done with you, Trix, except the way I left you that first time, in the kitchen. I just…It is a lot. You know how I am. I’m not used to having someone in my space.”
“I know. I’m not going to lie—that stings a little. But I get it. You’ve been alone forever.”
“Yeah, that’s part of it.” His jaw tensed.
“Part of it? Talk to me, Nick. Please.”
He held her gaze, his jaw clenching. “You make me feel all this shit that I have no idea what to do with. I’ve never been jealous a day in my life, and suddenly I’m jealous of Travis and Jon? They’re good guys. They’re my friends, even if Jon grates on my nerves when he hits on you. That jealousy makes me feel like a dick, and I hate that feeling.”
She couldn’t suppress her smile.
“Why are you smiling when I just told you I feel like a dick?”
“Because I’ve liked you forever, and now my hot cowboy is jealous over me. Just let me bask in that for a minute. But for the record, you’ll need to get over your jealousy where Travis is concerned because I like having a running partner, and I’m not giving that up.”
“That’s cool. He can run with you, as long as I’m the only one sharing a bed with you.” He smiled, but then his face turned serious again. “Wait. You’ve liked me forever?”
“It feels like forever. The day you strolled into Mr. B’s with your cocky attitude and badass dance moves, I didn’t just feel sparks. I felt like the sun came down and inhabited my body, lighting me up from the inside out and brightening everything around me. You’re confident and aggressive and funny. Not Sam or Zev funny, but Nick funny, which for me is so much better. And you were—are—so bullheaded and arrogant, you kind of reminded me of myself. I’d never met anyone like you. And every time I thought about you or saw you, I got so happy, and frustrated, of course, because my crush wasn’t reciprocated.”
He looked stunned. “How could I not pick up on that? I thought you seriously wanted to be friends with benefits. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you? Oh boy, that wouldn’t have been embarrassing at all.” She laughed. “Have you ever had a crush on someone?”
He set his guitar in the grass and pulled one knee up, leaning his arm on it. He looked out at the pastures and said, “Once. I was nineteen. She was twenty-two and lived in Nashville.”
“The bareback girl?”
“Yeah.” He met her gaze. “Sharon. We met at an exhibition. She was competing, too. We went back and forth when we could, but she wanted me to move to Nashville, and I wasn’t going to leave my family.”
“Was that when Tory died and your brothers left?”
“No. I ended it about six months before that. There was no endgame. You know my roots are deep. Born here, buried here.”
“Were you in love with her?”
He shook his head and shrugged. “Who knows. I was a kid. I liked her enough to travel to see her but not enough to leave home for good.”
“And there’s been no one special since?”
He held her gaze for a long moment. “One girl, and I’m looking at her.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “A bullheaded, arrogant girl with a phenomenal smile.” He kissed her. “Now, what’s the real reason you never told me you liked me in that way.”
“Give a girl a minute to savor the moment of being special. I’m busy melting over here.”
He pressed his lips to hers again.
“The real reason is that you were my friend’s cousin, and you were four years older than me, which as a teenager was a lot. Then we became such fast friends, I thought I’d get over my feelings for you, but they just grew deeper. And the one time I tried to flirt with you, after the awards banquet in Colorado, you didn’t even notice.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Jesus, Trix. I noticed you in Colorado, but I didn’t think you were intentionally flirting, because you’re always in my space.”
She climbed onto his lap. “I like being in your space.”
“Really? I couldn’t tell.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her. “I not only noticed you in Colorado, darlin’, but I stayed with you that night and left just before you woke up. I was worried you’d try to go back to the bar.”
“You stayed?” More happiness bubbled up inside her. “You took care of me. You liked me.”
“Ya think?” He laughed softly. “That night changed everything. I’ve thought about you every day since then. That’s why I’ve been going to Oak Falls so often.”
“Seriously? You never acted like it.”
“I’m pretty sure my hard-on gave me away.”
“I thought that was just a regular guy-girl reaction. And to think I came up here with every intention of getting over you.”
He kissed her neck. “I think you mean under me.”
“I do like being under you.”
He kissed her again, lighter this time, and then he framed her face with his hands and gazed into her eyes. His hands were rough and warm, and his eyes brimmed with emotions and an undeniable struggle as he said, “You are special, Trixie. You’re the only woman I’ve ever let touch me the way you did in the shower and talk to me the way you do, telling me what to do and how to do it. And you’re the only woman who’s ever been in my bed.”