“No,” he cuts me off sharply. “I do. Which is why that never should’ve happened. I should’ve kept control. Especially with civilians.”
I swallow. “It’s part of the PTSD, Deke. You’ve had to kill in the line of duty, right?”
He draws in a sharp breath then lets it out slowly. “Yeah. I… sometimes still do.” His gaze locks on my face, like he’s watching for signs that I’m horrified.
I am a little, but I’m careful to school my features. I should have guessed at this when he mentioned the multi-million dollar government contracts. No wonder they’re not allowed to date. They’re like… government hitmen. Or something.
I try on that idea to see if it makes me want to run screaming from Deke.
It doesn’t.
I lift my chin. “I don’t care,” I tell him.
He cocks his head. “You… you don’t? I mean, you should. Sadie, I’m not safe.”
I stop dancing and reach up, holding his face in both my hands. “You’re safe for me,” I tell him.
He hesitates. “I don’t know, Sadie. Those guys at the bar…”
“You went into attack mode because you thought you had to. It was a mistake. Deke, no one’s perfect.”
“I want to be for you.”
My heart lurches. He said for you.
He wants to be perfect for me.
Deke wants to be mine!
“Perfect is overrated. Perfect is what Scott and my dad want. They don’t care about the inside, so long as the outside looks good.”
Deke looks uncertain.
“You’re a good man, Deke. You protect those who can’t protect themselves. You have honor. Commitment. I don’t want you perfect. I just want you.”
Deke draws another quick breath, his eyes flashing green. His mouth descends on mine. Crashes down on my lips. Claims them. His large palm cups the back of my head, and his tongue sweeps between my lips.
I hear some giggles and murmurs around us. We’re standing in the middle of the dance floor, making out like wild, unruly teenagers.
It feels wonderful.
The kiss goes on forever. Long enough that I’m sure Deke’s forgotten where we are, so I pull away, laughing. “Let’s go upstairs,” I say.
He doesn’t hesitate. He sweeps me up in his arms, like I’m the bride, and carries me out of the ballroom.
Once we’re in the dark hotel room, it feels like everything moves in slow motion. He puts me down and silently unzips me. In the big bay window, the full moon shines her silvery light, gilding the dark earth with a magical aura. Fresh arousal blooms inside me, my pulse a steady drumbeat.
I let the gown pool at my feet and turn to face Deke in nothing but a thong. He’s stepped back, standing in the shadows. In his tux, he’s so handsome, I could cry.
He looks like he’s holding back again.
I take a step towards him. “I want you. You, Deke.” His scent flows over me, making me giddy, spinning me out. I don't know if it’s pheromones or the full moon. I’m going wild.
“Sadie, there’s more—” he says, but I grab him, mashing my mouth against his.
“I don’t care,” I mutter. “Whatever it is, I want you, anyway.”
He growls against my lips and rears up, ripping off his shirt, revealing his stunning torso. Oh yes. My ovaries are twerking. Let’s take this sex train to O town!
Deke
“Sadie-girl. I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”
Whoa. I don’t know where that came from. It definitely fell on the wrong side of the respect line, but Sadie doesn’t seem to mind. Her nimble fingers work the button on my tuxedo pants.
This woman is a gift. A fucking gift.
I stroke my hands up the bare skin of her back, mating our mouths again. I wanted to tell her about my wolf—bare all my secrets to her—but when she gave me an excuse not to, I took it.
Telling her is forbidden. I know what Rafe would say. What he’d say about all of this.
But I can’t hold back where Sadie’s concerned. Everything about her feels right. Her scent. The way her presence both calms and incites my wolf, her sweet, sweet acceptance of my dark side.
I love her.
I’m not sure I even knew what love is until this moment.
Wolves don’t think in those terms. We mate by scent, by fate, not by human emotion. But what I feel for Sadie is real. It’s beyond scent and the drive to mark her. It’s about who she is. How she makes me feel. The man I want to be for her.
I want to keep Sadie Diaz. Mate her. Marry her. Everything.
The moment she gets my pants down my hips, I step out of them and walk her backwards to the bed. Her knees hit the mattress, and she falls backward, my hand behind her head to gentle the landing.
I crawl over her, then remember a condom. I quickly kick off my briefs, retrieve a rubber and come back to the bed.
Sadie’s wearing a tiny thong. Her skin glows bronze in the moonlight. I bite the string of the panties and drag them down her legs with my teeth. Her laughter is musical and sweet. I kiss my way up her leg, starting with the calf, moving to the inner thigh and up to the apex. I lay a soft kiss on her mound, then push her legs open.
“Spread for me, baby,” I tell her.
She moans softly before my tongue even touches her. I lick into her, parting her lips and dragging my tongue through her wetness. I swirl around her entrance then around her clit.
“You’re so good at that.” She sounds breathless. Already desperate. I want to keep her that way all night long.
“I’m gonna make you come so hard,” I boast, sliding a finger inside her.
She squirms to take it deeper, and I back it out and slip in two digits, using them to caress her inner wall. I find her G-spot, feel the tissue tighten beneath the pads of my fingertips.
Her legs thrash around me, and she cries out. I lave her clit, suck the tiny nubbin as I continue to rub her G-spot.
“Deke! Oh God, it’s so good.”
I hum against her flesh. Or maybe it’s a growl. It doesn’t matter. I’m in control. She’s given me strength with her trust. I’m not going to mark her. I’m going to make her come like she’s never come before.
I pump my fingers, bumping into her G-spot with each thrust. She screams and tears at my hair, pressing my face into her flesh, even though I never stopped sucking that sweet little clit.
Her hips jerk and convulse. Her channel squeezes and pumps my fingers as she comes. I stop pumping while she goes off, then slow my stroking, bringing on a second release. I release my suction-hold on her clit and flick it with my tongue. A third after-shock rolls through her.
“Oh my God,” she pants. “Deke. It’s so good.” She tugs my ears to lift my head from her swollen flesh. “Come here,” she begs. “I need you inside me.”
I grin, her juices coating my lips. “I am inside you.” I stroke her G-spot again to remind her, and a fourth tidal wave hits.
“What about…. Um… fucking me so hard?”
A chuckle rumbles out of me. “Sadie Diaz, did you just say fuck instead of fudge?”
She laughs. “It seemed appropriate.”
“Mmm.” I crawl up over her. She’s right. It does seem appropriate. I pick up the condom package, which I’d dropped on the bed, and rip it open. “I did promise you a good fucking, didn’t I?”