She reached the doorway to the kitchen. Roman stood eyeing the ceiling, as if searching for answers, while Chase guzzled coffee. Neither brother realized she was there.
She was about to clear her throat and speak when Chase beat her to it.
“I still say make sure you can live with any decision you make.” He paused for a gulp of coffee. “Rick and I will understand if you don’t want to be the sacrificial lamb in Mom’s quest for grandchildren just because you lost the coin toss. You can still back out of the deal.”
Charlotte heard Chase’s words and stars danced before her eyes. Her mind quickly interpreted what she’d heard. Raina wanted grandchildren and Roman had promised to give them to her? Was that why the self-proclaimed wanderer and bachelor had suddenly started talking marriage? Love and marriage? Oh, God.
Her stomach clenched in pain, but she reminded herself that eavesdroppers never heard anything correctly. She’d listened to part of a conversation only. But it didn’t look or sound good. Not for her.
Good manners dictated she announce her presence now, before she overheard anything else that wasn’t meant for her ears. But that didn’t mean she could ignore what she had heard. “What coin toss?” she asked.
The sound of her voice obviously startled both men, because Chase whirled around and Roman’s body jerked as if she’d shot at him from across the room. He turned toward where she stood in the doorway.
“How’d you get in?” Chase asked, with his usual flair for bluntness and no tact.
“I knocked, but no one answered. The door was wide open, so I walked in.” She tossed her bag onto the kitchen counter and strode past Chase to face Roman. “What coin toss?” she asked again pointedly. With determination, fire, and … trepidation all locked in her throat.
“This is where I excuse myself,” Chase said.
“Coward,” Roman muttered.
“Somehow I don’t think he has anything to do with this.” Her heart pounded hard in her chest as Chase spilled his coffee into the sink and strode out of the kitchen, leaving her alone with Roman.
A man with secrets she was afraid to hear.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Roman walked toward Charlotte, grasped her elbow and led her to a small table in the corner of the Gazette kitchen area. White Formica, white chairs, furniture she knew came from Raina’s original set. She shook her head at the bizarre way the mind sought to avoid painful truths.
“Sit,” he said.
“I have a feeling I’ll take this better standing.”
“And I’d rather know it wasn’t so easy for you to turn and walk out. Now sit.”
She folded her arms across her chest and lowered herself into the chair. She wasn’t in the mood for games or beating around the bush. “Please tell me you didn’t ask me to marry you because your mother wants grandchildren.”
His steely blue eyes met hers. “I didn’t ask you for that reason.”
Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. “Then what deal did you make with your brothers?”
“Come on, didn’t I just tell you last night how ridiculous brothers can be?” He reached out and grabbed for her hand. “Whatever went on between the three of us doesn’t matter.”
If she’d had any doubts about how serious this revelation was going to be, he’d just confirmed it. “It matters, or you wouldn’t be trying to avoid telling me.” One look into his serious expression and she knew she was right.
“I came home because Mom was rushed to the hospital with chest pains, remember?”
She nodded.
“She told us that the doctors said she had to avoid stress on her heart. And she had one wish that we all knew we had to make come true.”
Charlotte swallowed hard. “A grandchild.”
“Right. But since none of us were in a serious relationship with a woman—”
“Or planned to ever marry,” she added.
He gave her a sheepish grin. “Since none of us were in the position to make it happen, we had to decide who would take that next step.”
“So you flipped a coin to see who would give Raina a grandchild, and you lost.” Bile rose in her throat.
“I know it sounds bad—”
“You don’t want to know what it sounds like,” she said bitterly. “What happened next? I threw myself at you and became the lucky candidate?”
“If you think back, I pulled away. I tried like hell to stay away. Because you were the one woman I couldn’t do it to.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
“You couldn’t do what to me?”
“It’s going to get worse before it gets better,” he warned her.
“I don’t see how.”
“I said I’d never outright lie to you and I won’t start now. But you need to hear the whole truth before passing judgment.” He glanced downward, then spoke again without meeting her gaze. “I thought I could find a woman who wanted kids. Get married, get her pregnant, and head on back abroad. I figured I’d honor my commitments financially and come home whenever possible, but not change my lifestyle much at all.”
“Just like my father.” He was more like Russell than Charlotte had ever imagined Roman Chandler could be. A true wave of nausea rushed over her, but before she could catch her breath or speak, he rushed on.
“Yes, and because of that, I immediately ruled you out, no matter how strong the attraction. I couldn’t do that to you. Even then, I cared too much to hurt you. But I figured with any other woman, if we were both in agreement on things, no one would get hurt.”
“Another woman.” Charlotte could barely get the words past her lips. “Just like that. You could go from saying you care about me to accepting the idea of sleeping with another woman. So easily.” She blinked back tears.
“No.” He held onto her hand and squeezed tight. “No. I was a mess when I came home. I haven’t even thought all this through until now. But I was jet-lagged, worried about my mother, and I’d agreed to this life change all in one night. I wasn’t thinking clearly about anything except about not wanting to hurt you. So I pulled away.”
“How noble.”
He paused. Only the clock ticking loudly from the wall behind them broke the silence, but she wasn’t about to make it easier.
He cleared his throat. “But I couldn’t keep my distance. Every time we went near each other, things exploded. Not just sexually but emotionally. In here.” He pointed to his chest. “And I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else.” He raised his head and his stare locked on hers. “Not ever again.”
“Don’t.” She shook her head, finding it hard to speak, the pain lodged in her throat and chest, overwhelming. “Don’t say all the right things in an attempt to make this okay when it isn’t. It can’t be. So you chose me,” she said, trying to regain the thread of conversation without emotion getting in the way. “Because the attraction was so strong. And what happened to that caring you spoke about?”
“It turned into love.”
Her breath caught in her throat. But as badly as she wanted to believe, she also was facing the truth. “The perfect words to convince me to marry you and give your mother the grandchild she wants.”