Why hadn’t any of them picked up on the signs before? Perhaps they’d all been too self-absorbed, Charlotte thought sadly.
“I think we should leave you alone to think about all this,” he said in the wake of Charlotte’s silence. He grabbed her mother’s hand. “Annie?”
She nodded. “I’m coming,” she said, before looking at Charlotte. “And again, I’m sorry.”
They started for the door together and Charlotte let them go.
She hoped and prayed that with the truth would come understanding and peace. But she needed time alone to understand the things she’d heard and decide how she felt now. How she’d feel when the numbness wore off.
* * *
Hours later, Charlotte settled herself in her bed, but kept her window shades open so she could stare out at the inky night sky. She was too wound up to sleep and thought maybe counting stars would help her relax. Unfortunately, her thoughts were running through her mind at a rapid pace. Talk about living an illusion, she thought. The father she thought hadn’t cared about her did.
Yet for a lifetime, Charlotte had modeled her behavior and treatment of men—men like Russell and travelers like Roman Chandler—on the abandonment lie perpetuated by her parents. But Russell Bronson wasn’t who Charlotte thought he was. He was selfish and had his faults, but he loved her mother. Charlotte had to give him some credit for that. Even if he could have done more to help both Annie and his daughter, he couldn’t sacrifice his entire life in the name of love.
Charlotte wouldn’t even ask that of Roman. Not anymore. Asking him to stay in Yorkshire Falls was as selfish as Russell had been in his own way. Roman deserved better from her.
It was ironic, really. Roman wasn’t the man she’d needed him to be. Charlotte had needed Roman to be the wanderer with no feelings, the love ’em and leave ’em bachelor who cared for no one but himself. She’d needed Roman to be all those things because it gave her an excuse to keep him at an emotional distance. To prevent herself from being hurt the way she thought her mother had been.
Now she just needed him.
She curled more deeply into the mattress, pulled up her covers, and yawned. Love had a way of casting aside all safety nets, Charlotte thought. And tomorrow she would make her own leap of faith with no guarantees of where she’d land.
At some point Charlotte must have dozed off, because the sun shining through the window woke her at dawn. She’d slept well for the first time in ages and opened her eyes to a rush of adrenaline she hadn’t expected. She showered, ate a cup of peach yogurt, then decided it was late enough to call Rick.
He picked up after one ring. “Rick Chandler at your service.”
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Charlotte mused.
“Yeah, well, a good run will do that for you. What’s up, Charlotte? Everything okay?”
“Yes,” she said, thinking of her decision to go after Roman. “And no,” she muttered, knowing she also had to tell Rick about Samson yet elicit his promise to protect and not turn the harmless older man in. “I need to talk to you.”
“You know I always have time for you. But I’m on my way out the door. I’ve got meetings scheduled in Albany and I won’t be back until later.”
Her disappointment was strong. Now that she’d made up her mind, she was ready to take action.
“How ’bout I come by on the way home?” he asked. “Probably around seven.”
She tucked the phone beneath her ear and rinsed off her spoon as she figured her schedule. “It’s Sponsors Night. I’m supposed to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Rockets’ game tonight.” As much as she’d rather ditch her entire day and get to Roman as quickly as possible, she couldn’t let the kids down. And she didn’t want to.
What she had to say to Rick couldn’t be done in public and would have to wait until tonight, “Why don’t you come by my place after the game?” she suggested.
“Sounds like a plan. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She rolled her eyes. “Would you quit asking me? You’re beginning to sound like the big brother I never had.”
“Yeah, well, I promised.”
“You promised what?” Butterflies began a steady flutter inside her stomach. And to who?
Silence extended over the phone line. “Come on, Rick. What did you mean?”
He cleared his throat. “Nothing. Just that it’s my job to make sure you’re okay.”
His job as a cop or his job as a brother? she wondered. Had Roman made Rick promise something before he’d taken off?
“Well, I’m fine.” As curious as she was, she accepted Rick’s vague answer. She knew better than to think she’d get one Chandler brother to snitch on another.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“Right. Drive safe.” Charlotte hung up the phone and exhaled hard. One long workday and seven innings of baseball to go, and then she’d find out where Roman had gone. Charlotte had twelve hours to get up the nerve to make the trip to wherever. To leave Yorkshire Falls and land uninvited on Roman’s doorstep, completely uncertain of the reception she’d receive.
The day was longer than Charlotte could have envisioned, each hour feeling like several. Listening to Beth go on and on about Thomas Scalia had brought out mixed feelings, happiness for her friend and envy because she was alone, her future unsure.
But the day passed and Charlotte finally threw the ceremonial first pitch while her parents sat in the stands watching her. Together. She shook her head in amazement. Not that she held any illusions. Russell would be back in California by early next week. Alone this time, but maybe not for long.
Annie had agreed to meet with a therapist. Harrington had a wonderful mental health clinic and her mother had decided, with her father’s encouragement, to see a psychiatrist Dr. Fallon had recommended there. Meanwhile, her father had decided to tie up some loose ends in L.A. and come home for a while, at least long enough for Annie to begin therapy and see if she could wrap her mind around the possibility of moving west.
Would wonders never cease? Charlotte mused, happier and more hopeful about life than she’d been in a while. As if they knew, Charlotte’s Rockets beat the competition again, despite their star pitcher being out with a broken wrist and some other assorted player injuries. Though it was still early in the season, they’d designated Charlotte their good luck charm, going so far as to give her an honorary spaceship locket to hang on a chain around her neck in appreciation of her sponsorship and perfect attendance record so far. The gesture brought a lump to her throat and made her glad she hadn’t ditched the kids in favor of her personal life.
“What personal life?” she asked aloud as she let herself back into her apartment, the night over at last.
The joke seemed to be on her. Even her mother had a private life, whereas right now Charlotte had none. But once she saw Rick and got information on Roman, she’d be on her way—to what, she didn’t know, but at least she’d be taking positive steps forward.
* * *
Charlotte dropped her keys on the kitchen table and listened to her cell phone message. “Hi, Charlotte. It’s me, Rick. I got hung up in Albany and then was called out on a case as soon as I hit town again. We have to talk, so sit tight.”