He was alone.
Only that wasn’t quite true, because Ned was still there, playing pull-the-rope with his dog, as if the two of them were beasts, not master and pet. Both grunted, snorted, and as Ned’s knees banged against the floor when he moved on all fours, Cole found himself getting annoyed. How could one man be the person he loved and the person he hated all in one body?
Couldn’t fate have given him one night with the Ned from years ago instead of the half-crazed beast with unsteady hands who talked to himself? If he could go back to that wonderful night in Three Stones wiser by the experience of the past seven years, he wouldn’t have chickened out. He’d have rolled back against Ned’s chest and kissed him. As it was, he’d missed out on something many found wonderful, and now that Ned was again in the picture, the thought of returning to that moment before everything had gone to shit kept buzzing at the back of his head, like a starved mosquito.
But could he? Could he simply imagine that they were still close? Still in love?
A rock slowly formed in Cole’s throat and, after a final glance at Ned, he shut the door and rested against it, staring at the bed. He’d be sleeping in it on his own tonight, with no one to share warmth with, unless—
Cole pressed his forehead to the door and listened to the noise coming from the room next to his. There was some shuffling, so maybe Ned was preparing to settle in for the night too?
“Leave it, that’s Cole’s,” Ned urged the dog, but his next words couldn’t have been meant for the animal. “You told him everything, and he still wants you here. You stay.”
Cole stepped away, unwilling to risk hearing things he couldn’t wipe out of his head. He and Lars had chosen to ignore Ned’s mumbling, but whether the booze or loneliness had taught him to say some of his thoughts out loud, it didn’t seem deliberate.
Despite the lie it had been built on, his connection with Ned had been an honest one, pure and joyful in every way, from the easy friendship to the physical exploration that had felt like nothing before or after. And while Cole would never look at Ned the same way, and was no longer capable of absolute trust, the man in the other room had been ready to give his life rather than hurt him, and that counted for something.
Maybe Cole didn’t have to sleep in a cold bed tonight?
Maybe he could imagine this was the hotel in Three Stones and be willfully ignorant of Ned’s secret agenda. Maybe for this one night, he could let himself love Ned O’Leary again?
His lips pulsed as the weight of this possibility hit his body, already teasing and provoking fantasies he hadn’t allowed himself despite still finding Ned so handsome. He was strong, heavy, and had hands that could strangle a wolf, but if Cole was to indulge in it once, then maybe he could pretend.
Licking his lips, he pressed his ear to the door, and its cool touch made his skin oddly sensitive, as if Ned were on the other side, waiting for a sign that he was allowed in.
It should happen in silence, because hearing Ned talk would have shattered the illusion Cole craved. He didn’t need to know the extent of Ned’s experience, but he had more than enough to know how to prepare himself for the deed. Because he would do it.
He would get Ned to fuck him tonight.
His insides boiled as if he’d lain in a hot tub for too long, but he’d made up his mind, and the unease he’d felt seven years ago, when Ned had asked him that question was replaced by a rush in his veins.
At twenty-three, he used to be unsure about his place in the world, but he’d been with lots of men since and knew what he wanted. Ned had no idea what was coming for him.
Breathless, Cole approached his grooming bag and rummaged through it to find the tin box of unscented pomade. He would use it on others, whenever opportunity arose to pin a willing man down, but he’d never attempted to put fingers, or anything else, up his own hole. It was for the better, that this part wouldn’t involve Ned. As strange as it felt to touch himself there, Cole had no shame left in him about matters of the flesh. In his mind, he’d be Ned’s first and only lover, regardless of what the truth was, and at least this way, he’d be in charge and wouldn’t need to worry about Ned’s potential lack of experience.
He didn’t open the door until he considered himself ready, but once the stubborn muscles relaxed, and his opening didn’t resist dilation, he snuffed the kerosene lamp on the side table and opened the door to the main room. Ned rested alongside his pet in the pile of bedding and blankets, as if he too were a dog. He hadn’t even knocked on the bedroom door to fight for a night with Cole.
“Get up,” Cole said, approaching the nest. The collar still laid on the floor next to Ned, as if he didn’t care that the man who’d taken over his bed had kept him chained only hours prior.
“Huh?” When Ned opened his droopy eyes in confusion, Cole lost patience and yanked him up by the arm.
Cole put his hand over Ned’s lips, watching him in the glow of the fireplace. “Shut up. You’re coming with me.”
Ned’s eyes widened, the bruises on his face reminding Cole of the punches he’d landed not long ago. Ned didn’t fight him this time either. Didn’t say a word as Cole led him to the bedroom and closed the door in front of Dog’s curious muzzle.
There. Darkness would rightfully obscure the blots on Ned’s skin, because this wasn’t the Ned who deserved punches but the one Cole would fuck. The light of the fire snuck in under the door, but while dim, it was more than enough for Cole to see the outline of Ned’s shoulders, and he pushed at them, making Ned fall to the bed with a soft yelp.
That was where Cole wanted him.
His body cooked under the flannel union suit, but when Ned reached out for him, the invisible flames crawled up Cole’s neck too, arriving at his head even before he grabbed the outstretched hand and crawled on the bed, straddling Ned’s lap and taking hold of the short damp hair.
Hot breath caressed Cole’s cheek, but he didn’t let Ned speak and pressed their lips together, instantly overcome by the need to claw at the layers separating that muscular body from his.
Ned didn’t question any of it and acted as Cole expected him to, just like he had when Cole had helped him cheat at cards on the day they’d met. He placed his hand on Cole’s hips, then ran them up the sides of Cole’s body again and again as their tongues engaged in a mating ritual of licking and sucking.
Ned was as eager and hungry as during their first kiss, only this time no one would stand in their way if they wanted to fuck. No one would bang against the wall to chase them off, and no one would force them apart. Cole hastily unbuttoned the flap at the rear of his underwear and held on to Ned as soon as cool air prickled his rear.
They were alone and could indulge in this fantasy however they chose to.
Cole hummed, pulling back Ned’s head to control the intense kiss while his prick grew, already going rigid, trapped between his body and the layer of flannel. Jolts of lust sparked over his skin when Ned squeezed the flesh on Cole’s back as if he couldn’t contain the excitement buzzing inside him.
Cole let out a strangled gasp and nipped on Ned’s tongue, greedy to feel him twitch. Ned tasted of the same tooth powder Cole used, but the hint of sweetness and warmth were all his, along with the musky aroma Cole sensed in the crook of Ned’s neck, already present after their bath.