“That’s not the—”
“Do you want me?” he repeated softly.
“You know I do,” she whispered.
“And I want you. Very much, Shay.”
A tormented expression touched her face. “Until tomorrow morning.”
“Again tomorrow morning,” he promised. “You can say what you will about temptation and forbidden fruit, but it’s been ten years, and we’re still here, better and hotter than ever. That means something, Shay.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, emotion welling in his chest. “And ten years ago, I walked away because I had to. It wasn’t our time. We were too young. We would have crashed and burned. But it’s our time now, Shay. Here. Tonight.”
One second. Two. Her chin lifted in a familiar, defiant motion. “That’s not what you said this afternoon.”
“I was doing what we’ve both been programmed to do. Run from our attraction. The same way I’m programmed to hear gunfire without flinching. We’re both programmed to see each other and go into avoidance mode.” His hands settled on her legs, his voice deepened into a confession. “The minute I saw you today, I knew I’d stayed away because it was the only way I’d resist you. Then you came in, offering me a kiss. I was trying everything I could to maintain control.” He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “We both need resolution. We both need to know why we can’t let this go.
“There were times over the past ten years when I was in places as close to hell as it gets. Hurt. Running for my life. Certain I wouldn’t make it. I needed something to cling to that was good. Something that gave me hope. Today, when I was watching you by the pool, helping your mother unwrap gifts, you were smiling and laughing, and I remembered what that good thing was. It was you, Shay. I’d picture your smile…your laugh.” His lips lifted slightly, his hand slid to her cheek. “Your dagger-throwing, angry stare when you wanted to kill me. All that means something, and I want to know what.”
Her hand went to his wrist, her voice crackling with emotion. “Me? You thought of me?”
“More times than you can possibly imagine,” he said. Now that he’d unraveled this web, he wasn’t going to tangle it with unspoken words. He’d spent ten years holding back. No more.
She touched his face, fingers trailing over his jaw. “Let’s go inside.”
***
SHAY TRIED TO OPEN her door, but her normally steady hand shook with the effort. Caleb said something behind her, but she couldn’t focus for the thunder of her heart in her chest, radiating into her ears. Couldn’t think for the musky, male scent so uniquely Caleb, lifting in the humid night air and thickening. To say that she was terrified she might be making the wrong choice by acting on her desire for Caleb was an understatement. She was scared to say yes to tonight with Caleb, and scared to say no.
Caleb reached around her and took her key. Helplessly, she accepted the aid and fought the urge to lean back on him. That leaning on him felt safe said a lot. Her parents had taught her to be strong and independent, to lean on those you trust, and be picky about who was inside that circle. Caleb was in that circle. No other man ever had been. He’d seen her strong, seen her weak. Heck, he’d tended to her annual stomach flu when she’d been death warmed over.
Caleb’s lips brushed her neck, and she realized she was doing more than thinking about leaning on him. She was leaning on him, her body resting against his bigger, harder one. He’d known she needed a minute, known not to push her.
Caleb turned the doorknob and she darted forward, nerves working a number on her. Awkward without her purse, which she normally dropped on the hall table, she pressed her hand to her face. She’d wanted this—wanted Caleb—for so long. Even when she’d denied wanting him, she realized now, she had, indeed, wanted him. She’d spent so much time feeling guilty for that desire, for driving him away, that this—here, now—felt somehow wrong. Like a bad deed that would be punished.
Shay swung around to face Caleb, finding him close—so tall and broad and gorgeous, she almost forgot what she’d intended to say. He reached for her. Somehow, she retained some logic and stepped backward. If he touched her, she’d forget everything but him. She’d forget that talk they’d never had. They had to have that talk. “What if we regret this?”
He laced the fingers of one of his hands with hers. “What if we don’t?”
Fretful, she rejected that nonanswer. “What if we do, Caleb?”
“The only regret I’ll have is walking away and losing another day pretending we don’t want each other.”
Sending him away would be hard. It would stink. But… “But what if something does go wrong? What if it makes you afraid to come around the family?” She frowned when she noticed he was smiling. “What about this is amusing?”
“The part where you still say ‘what if’ at the beginning of every sentence when you are feeling out of control,” he admitted unashamedly.
“I’m serious, Caleb,” she said, refusing to be drawn into playful banter designed to redirect her questions. “What if it’s not what we thought it would be? Will we act strangely? All this build-up. What if—”
“What if—” he drew her wrist to his lips “—I kiss you here.” His mouth pressed to her pulse point, and she felt it all over her body. “Or here?” He opened her palm and kissed it, as well. “Or even here?” He kissed the bend of her arm, which was really, really sexy, in a way she’d never imagined. No one had ever kissed her there. Shay shuddered with arousal.
His lips lifted with satisfaction as he asked, “At what point will I convince you…it’s going to be good?” He folded her in his arms, his body cradling hers, his lips near her ear. “Because it’s already good for me.”
Shay buried her face in his neck, inhaling the scent of him. “I’m just—” she hesitated and decided to be honest—this was Caleb after all “—nervous.” She laughed. “Yeah. I’m really nervous.”
He pulled back, his hand sliding down her hair. “I’m still me,” he said, his eyes warm with comfort. “The same guy you once pushed into the swimming pool, ruining my boots.”
A sudden spell of laughter bubbled from her lips. She should have known he’d come up with the perfect thing to calm her nerves. “You were so mad. I’d venture to say you were furious.”
“And you never told me why you did it,” he reminded her.
“I don’t remember,” she said coyly, but of course, she did. She’d worn a dress to get his attention, and he’d told her it was too old for her, treated her like a kid sister. Not fifteen minutes later, she had the opportunity and took it. Caleb went into the pool, fully clothed. Seeing him sopping wet had done a lot to ease the bite of his reprimand.
“Liar,” he purred, nibbling at her neck and picking her up, his hands sliding around her backside. Shay wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Why’d you push me into that pool?”