I didn’t turn around. “I have to go. I’m… I’m sorry.” My steps quickened until I was outside the sanctuary.
Sanctuary. This was supposed to be a place of sanctuary.
I sped through the narthex and out the door until I was completely outside the church.
No longer did I adore its beauty.
Now it was a hostile place. A place that made me feel the way I’d felt all those years ago.
My breathing came rapidly. Too rapidly. My legs turned to jelly, and my vision blurred.
No. No. No. Not now. Not here.
What had I been thinking, coming here? Take back my life? I could do that without facing the priest who tormented me.
“Miss?”
I stumbled, and strong arms caught me.
The intern priest. Father Amos Baca.
“Are you all right? Should I call someone for you?”
I willed my body to work. “No. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. Let’s go back in. I’ll get you some water. Or some herb tea.”
“No. Please. Just let me go.” I shrugged him away.
He dropped his hands from me. “Of course.”
“You should…”
“I should what?” he asked.
“You should get rid of Father Jim,” I said. “He’s not who you think he is.”
Then I ran.
I ran until I was somewhere behind the church, in a rose garden. The roses were in bloom, and their scent infused the air. I breathed in deeply. Rose was supposed to calm, but it did anything but. I stared at the ground. A piece of white paper lay between the bushes. I knelt down and absently grabbed it, not knowing why. I crushed it in my fist and tried to stand.
I breathed in again, but the air forced itself outward as quickly as I could get it into my lungs. Panic. Sheer panic.
I fell to the ground. Among the leaves and thorns. Help Help Help.
Then bells ringing.
Bells. A church bell?
I shifted back to reality. It was a phone. My phone.
I breathed in hard and grabbed the phone out of my purse, not bothering to look at who was calling. “Hello?” I said breathlessly.
“Zee.”
Reid’s voice. Reid’s soothing voice.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said, trying not to stammer. “I’m okay. Now.”
34
Reid
“You don’t sound okay.”
Worry for Zee edged through me. She sounded out of breath. Maybe she was working out. But I knew that wasn’t the issue. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I did.
“I’m fine.”
I didn’t believe her, but I’d called for a reason. Morgan was done with me—just a bunch of badgering about things I’d already told him—and I had to prepare Zee. “I’m going to send someone up to the apartment to get you. The detective will be ready for you in about an hour, and our attorneys need to prep you.
“I… Okay.”
“Lydia will answer the door and come get you. Are you still in my bedroom?”
“Oh. No, I’m not.”
“In the home gym, then?”
“Uh…no. Why would you think that?”
“You’re out of breath. I thought you might be working out.”
“No. I’m… I’m not at your place.”
Ice gripped the back of my neck. “Where are you, then?”
“At a church. St. Andrew’s.”
“Fuck,” I said under my breath. “Why are you there?”
“I wanted… I don’t know what I wanted.”
“Are you okay? Did anyone…” What was I going to say? Did anyone hurt you? Why would she intentionally go to Father Jim’s parish?
“I’m okay. I’m in the rose garden.”
“Listen to me, Zee,” I said. “Leave the rose garden. Go back to the street and find a café. Do it now while we’re on the phone together.”
“Yes. All right.”
Rustling met my ears. She was leaving the rose garden. It would take her a few minutes to get off church property and back to the street. There was a Starbucks nearby. She could go there.
“Do you see the Starbucks?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Go there. Have a seat inside. The driver will be there as soon as possible. Stay on the phone.”
“I am.”
I left the office quickly, yelled at Terrence to make sure Wayne was waiting for me downstairs, and pounded on the elevator button until the doors split before me.
“Reid?”
“I’m here, Zee. Just stay at the Starbucks.”
“Okay.” Her voice didn’t tremble as much now. Good.
As soon as the elevator doors opened, I ran out through the lobby to the waiting car. “The Starbucks by St. Andrew’s,” I said to Wayne. “Hurry.”
Hurry. Yeah, in Manhattan traffic.
“You still okay?” I asked Zee.
“Yeah.”
“Get yourself some tea or something.”
“I’m fine. I don’t want anything. Especially not tea.”
“Oh?”
“The priest. He offered me tea.”
“The priest?” Damn. Had she actually talked to Father Jim?
“Yes, he was nice, but he scared me.”
“Father Jim?” I demanded.
“No. The other one.”
There was another one? How would I know? I wasn’t exactly a churchgoer, and I’d never set foot in St. Andrew’s again, now that I knew what Father Jim was all about. Sitting through my father’s memorial and listening to the priest sing his praises had been about all I could handle.
“You’re safe now,” I said, trying to sound soothing when my nerves were a fucking mess.
“I know.” Her voice was monotone.
Hurry, Wayne. For God’s sake, hurry!
Twenty minutes to go a couple blocks. Fucking crazy shit. I should have walked. In fact—
“Stop,” I said. “I’m getting out. Meet me at the Starbucks.”
Wayne nodded as I wrenched open the car door and sprinted the last block to Starbucks.
Zee sat at a table outside, her phone still glued to her ear, her left hand clenched in a fist. She gasped when she saw me.
“Are you all right?” I panted.
“Yeah. I am now. When you stopped talking, I…”
“Never mind. I’m here now. Wayne will be here in a few minutes and we’ll drive back to the office.” I sat down next to her. “Zee, why did you go to St. Andrew’s?”
She stuffed her phone into her purse. “I’m not really sure.”
“Tell me.”
“I was thinking about when I was younger. You know, before…everything.”
I lifted my eyebrows.
“There was a pastor at home I used to talk to sometimes. He always made me feel better.”
A pastor? Did she know there were dozens of other churches around? Churches that weren’t St. Andrew’s? “Why that church?”
“It was the only one I knew.”
“Zee…”
“Okay.” She sighed. “I wanted to be strong. I thought if I could go there, it would be like taking my life back.”