Leo has one foot crossed over the other, his arms folded below his chest, his head bowed. His eyes are closed. Shadows from the firelight cling to his eyelashes. On my next breath, some of the knives pull out. They’re replaced by a sensation that feels like a shimmer. Like I’m looking into a church and not into my greatest fear.
A subtle shift in Leo’s body. He makes the sign of the cross.
“Fucking finally,” says Ronan, and he lifts the gun.
“Stop.” I rush into the room between them, conscious with every step that I look ridiculous. I look like nothing. Leo’s head snaps up and the shock in his eyes breaks my heart. “Jesus. Stop.”
Putting myself between Leo and a man with a gun is not something I’ve technically rehearsed. I had a vague idea that I would just stand between them, but once I’m headed toward him, I can’t stop. I throw my arms around his neck and pull him close. His heart beats so hard I can feel it through my shirt. Leo’s hands are on my face, on my hair. He pushes me back so he can look into my eyes.
This close, I can see how blown out his pupils are. I’ve never felt him tremble before, but it’s happening now. Leo Morelli is shaken. Rattled. Like he’s seeing a ghost. He expected to be dead already, I realize. He was about to be free of his pain. “What are you doing here?” He crushes me to him and kisses my hair.
"I came to protect you," I say into his shirt. Like my flesh-and-blood body can save him from a bullet to the head.
Leo's breath hitches and he makes room between us, eyes searching my face like it's the last time he'll ever see. “Why? Why?” He swallows. “Why would you do this? I'm the worst kind of person. Why wouldn’t you stay where it was safe? I let you go.” His teeth click together and he works to unclench them. “I let you go.”
Tears come in spite of my best efforts but I refuse to let them fall. “When I look at you, I see someone strong.” He’s hanging on every word, and it’s too much power. The stakes are too high. Too bad. We're here now. “Someone determined. I know—” My voice breaks, god damn it. “I know it hurts. I know it’s hard to live with. But don’t let her do this to you.”
He strokes my hair. “It’s already done, darling.”
“I believe in you.” One tear breaks free of my self-control and runs down my cheek. Leo catches it with his thumb. His eyes go to that silvery droplet like it’s a miracle. It was made in pain and love. “And I’m not going to let this happen.”
I take Leo’s hand and stand beside him, getting as close as I can. Ronan’s gun hangs by his side, but impatience twists the corners of his mouth. “That was precious.”
“You’ll have to kill me too.” I’m outside my body already. It’s a surprisingly peaceful feeling. I have to die someday. I might as well do it to give this man a fighting chance. “You’ll have to kill me first.”
Ronan snorts. “Caroline won’t be bothered about that much.”
Caroline’s hitman raises his gun to shoot and I move. What the hell was I doing, standing next to him instead of in front of him? I throw myself in front of Leo and brace for the bullet to hit.
But Leo is faster.
Leo is so much faster.
He wraps one arm around me and uses my own momentum to push me behind him. One step forward. It’s so simple. In the space of a single heartbeat, he becomes the human shield. There’s a sound so loud it claps against my eardrums with a painful, insistent pressure. I see that sound wave rock through Leo, feel it pass over my skin. He turns and catches himself on me and then we’re both falling, falling, falling into the end of the world.
25
Haley
Somehow, I catch him.
Or I don’t, and there’s a mad scramble as he tries to push himself off the floor and fails. I end up on my knees, cradling him in my arms while he twists his body toward me. He’s trying to get his back away from the floor but he can’t sit up. The best I can do is to hold his head up, hold him close, to take as much of the pressure away as I can.
Leo’s dark eyes are wide, the firelight laying bare his crushing pain and shock. I don’t dare look away from him. Raindrops fall onto his face. I keep wiping them away with my sleeve.
Raining, inside the house.
Ronan must have shot the roof out, too. But no. No. It’s winter, not raining.
It’s tears on his face. My tears.
I touch the front of his shirt and find blood there. The bullet hit him in the same place as his stab wound. Blood soaks through the cloth. It doesn’t stop.
Hot. It’s hot. It’s life spilling out of him.
One of Leo’s feet kicks and he groans through clenched teeth, twisting himself another inch away from the floor. I’ll die if I cause him any more pain. Oh, god.
I was never ready for this. For shifting him, as gently as I can, so that my legs don’t dig in. Nothing between us has ever been this intimate.
He has one arm locked around my waist. I have one arm supporting his head and shoulders. His eyes, his eyes. I can’t look away. Don’t want to. Pain moves through him in a cascade of tensing muscles and Leo makes a sound like a wounded animal.
I’ve wasted my life. I’ve wasted my life, studying literature when I could have learned how to save a human being. Now I’m helpless and he’s bleeding out. He’s dying. He gets a hand up to my face and runs the pad of his thumb over my cheek.
“Christ.” His face pales. “Fuck.”
“I know. It’s going to be okay.” It’s not. There is so much blood. Leo’s eyes slip out of focus and I lean down and kiss him. Too hard. Too hard for a man who’s been shot. He grabs my hand in his. Touches it to his forehead. His chest. One shoulder.
The sign of the cross.
“No. You’re going to be okay.” I let him finish the movement but I don’t want to. It’s not time for that yet. He’s my own fallen angel; he’s going to live.
Dimly, I become aware of Ronan. His gun is down by his side, and the sight of him standing there like some sick voyeur fills me with rage.
“Get out,” I snap at him. “Either shoot us or get out.”
He hesitates, his finger moving toward the trigger. Leo curls into me again and I hold him there until the pain ebbs and he relaxes. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or if it means he’s dying faster. He’s been shot. He’s going to die. No. Jesus, no.
Ronan hefts his pistol in his hand and looks down at it like it might tell him what to do. Then, with a sigh, he moves it behind his back. A holster under his shirt. I don’t care. “If you want to keep him alive, keep him away from Caroline Constantine.” He starts to turn away, then stops. “There’s nothing left for you in that family.”
Leo makes another sound, and there’s nothing in the world but him. His eyes are almost black in the light, except for those gold threads. More tears shine on his cheeks. A slow blink. He looks like he’s struggling to stay here with me.
“You’re okay,” I murmur. My instinct is to rock, but moving him would be bad. I just hold him close. More blood pools between us. “You’re okay, Leo. It’s okay.”