“Death comes to us all, Anne,” he said quietly. Again, she felt a pang of sorrow. And regret for making the comment knowing what she knew, that death had been a central part of his life.
After a moment, Rafe said, “Lorcan seems…pleasant. The most pleasant of the three of them, anyway. Please, whatever you organize, leave Deborah out if you can?” He gave her a pleading look that made her smile.
“I will do my best. She can be unpleasant.” Anne frowned. It was more than that. “Hearing that she was cruel to Beatrix and Selina has made me question my relationship with her.”
“Good.”
The sharp one-word response drew Anne to snap her gaze to his. She glimpsed that darkness in him once more, and a faint shiver tripped across her shoulders.
“I’ll try to arrange something soon—a dinner here, if Jane and Anthony are amenable,” she suggested. “After that, perhaps you can go riding with Lorcan and my godfather.”
“No.” The word was as crisp and definitive as the one he’d uttered a moment before. “I don’t ride.”
She knew he didn’t like riding, but hadn’t realized that meant he didn’t. “At all?”
“I never learned. I wasn’t raised to be an earl, Anne.”
She knew that, of course. But she realized there were still many, many things she didn’t know about him. Things she wondered if she’d ever know. “They could teach you.”
An abrupt laugh spilled from him, and he shook his head. “Definitely not.”
“Why not? You said yourself that your father can’t return, so why not look to your uncle to teach you?”
That darkness pulsed from him once more, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “My father gave me a pony and had started to teach me. I don’t think I could let my uncle continue the tutelage. That is too…close.” He looked away again, his features tense, his body stiff.
Anne touched his leg and scooted slightly toward him so their knees touched. “I’m sorry. I should have realized. I suppose since I think of your uncle as family, I want you to think of him in the same way. Particularly since he is your family.”
He put his hand on hers. “It’s fine. This is not easy. That’s why I came to you for help. I don’t know where to begin.”
She nodded once. “We’ll start with a dinner—without Deborah. I’ll speak with Lorcan and explain that my goal is to bring you and your uncle together. It’s for the good of everyone. Lorcan will see that, and my godfather will too. Eventually. Once he’s grown accustomed to how things must change.”
“How long will that be, I wonder?” There was a sardonic quality to his tone that prompted her to take his hand between both of hers.
“Have faith,” she said. “You have a family, and while families can be incredibly disappointing, they can also be lovely. I am going to hope that yours will be the latter.”
“Unlike yours. Your sister notwithstanding,” he said. “You have no contact with your parents at all?”
A ripple of discomfort passed through her. “Not at present. I can’t yet forgive them for Jane. I will in time. For now, it’s good to have distance.”
They sat in silence for a moment, his gloved hand between her bare ones. She idly wondered if he would mind if she stripped the offending accessory away.
“Would it be all right if I came to the dinner I arrange for you and my godfather?” she asked.
“I expect you to be there. Please.”
She’d thought so, but wanted to be sure. “And will that be the only time I see you?”
His gaze riveted to hers. “It should be.”
Between his words, she heard the barest chance for something more. She would seize any opportunity. There was an undercurrent between them now. Where they’d always been at least slightly flirtatious, this was more. There was a depth, a need, to their connection.
“I’d like to visit Annie soon,” she said.
He arched a brow. “You’ve neatly arranged that, haven’t you? A reason for us to be together.”
She prickled at his words. “I didn’t arrange it,” she said sharply. “I told Annie I would visit, that I would bring her something for her room, and I am a woman of my word.”
“Of course you are.” His tone softened. “My apologies. I meant it as a joke, and it came out badly.” He exhaled and clasped one of her hands. “I’m so often unbalanced with you.” He tipped his head to the side and regarded her with a seductive curiosity.
Her insides fluttered with giddiness. “As I am with you.”
“Indeed? You seem confident and assured, as if you know exactly what you want.”
“I do. I want you. I’ve made no secret of that. Whether you come with me or not, I will see Annie.”
His finger stroked the inside of her wrist. Was he aware of it? “When?”
An insistent desire pulsed from where he touched her wrist. “Monday, I think.”
“You can’t go alone. I’ll take you.”
“I wouldn’t go alone. I’d take Jane probably.” But I’d rather go with you.
“Would that be better?” he asked. “Perhaps she doesn’t approve of you going out with me a second time. I notice she left the door open today as opposed to when she allowed you to be alone with me at my house with the door closed.”
“She’ll let me go because she knows I’ll go anyway. Shall I dress as a man or a woman?”
There was a slight hiss as he sucked in a breath, his gaze moving over her and eliciting a response just as potent as if he touched her. Anne tingled everywhere, particularly where he teased her wrist. And his finger wasn’t even bare.
“A woman, please.” The request was low and thick. “Wear your veil. I’ll pick you up in the mews again.”
She nodded because her voice seemed to have deserted her.
He lifted her arm and pressed his lips to that spot inside her wrist that now burned from his touch. His eyes met hers. “Irresistible.”
“Am I?” she breathed.
“We’ll see.” He set her hand in her lap and stood. “I’ll fetch you at one on Monday.”
Anne rose, her legs wobbly. “I’ll speak with my godfather and let you know what he says.”
“Thank you.” He bowed his head to her and left.
Trembling, she sank back down onto the settee. She was vaguely aware of voices just outside the library before Jane came in. Anne composed herself, sitting straighter and tucking the usual stray lock of hair behind her ear.
“What did he want?” Jane asked without preamble as she sat next to Anne on the settee.
“You didn’t hear?”
Jane rolled her eyes with a smile. “I told you I wouldn’t eavesdrop, and I meant it.”
“He asked for my help with getting to know his uncle.”
“Oh.” Jane sounded disappointed. “That’s all?”
“Yes and no. I asked if we could return to Paternoster Row so that I may visit a girl I met on our last visit. She works in a bookshop there, and I promised we would discuss the book she was reading. She’s an orphan.” Anne wanted to share how Rafe had helped her, but it seemed he kept that part of himself private. She should ask him first.