Daydreams, it turned out, were never meant to come true. And that made her more depressed than she had ever been in her entire life.
“Amber, you should have told me!” Diana said as soon as Mr. Buck Teeth retreated. “I could have seeded the field so much better if I’d known.”
Amber frowned. She had no idea what that meant.
“Don’t look like that. It causes wrinkles,” Diana said as she pulled her to sit in a nearby bench. The orchestra was taking a break, thank heaven, and Amber was grateful to get off her aching feet. “I just heard it from Lady Waterford, who heard it from her son who heard it from… Oh, I don’t know who. But it’s the talk of the evening and the reason you haven’t stopped dancing all night long.”
“What is the reason?” she asked, her voice sharper than she intended.
“Your dowry! I had no idea that you had one, much less twenty thousand pounds! That’s enough to overcome your lack of a title. In fact, it’s enough for you to be much more discerning as to your dance partners.”
Twenty thousand pounds? But that was ridiculous. “I don’t have a dowry,” she said. And even if she did, it certainly wasn’t any twenty thousand pounds. The amount was exorbitant!
“Actually, you do,” said the one voice she’d been straining to hear all day. Elliott stood beside them, holding out two glasses of lemonade. “I spoke with your father this afternoon. He seemed honored to bestow a dowry upon his only child. In fact, that was his exact word, honored.”
Amber stared opened mouthed at the man. She saw his blank expression and his long fingers where they held her glass. She saw his black attire and a stickpin for his cravat shaped like a flame. It was the pin that jarred her out of her shock, for it was one she had fashioned herself.
“I made that pin,” she said stupidly. “Did you buy it today?” It was a ridiculous thing to focus on, but he was wearing something of hers. Something she had fashioned with her own hand, and for some reason, that stood out as significant to her.
“Actually, your father gifted it to me. When we spoke about your marriage.”
“My marriage?” she echoed dumbly. Then her heart abruptly beat triple time in her throat. “You spoke to my father about marrying me?” He words came out as a kind of squeak.
His eyes widened in surprise, and he swallowed convulsively. “Well, um, as to that—”
“You don’t want him,” Diana inserted before he could finish. “He’s only interested in politics. But as soon as we are home, I shall make a list of the best gentlemen to consider.” She was about to prattle on further, but Elliott interrupted.
“I have had a couple men ask me about your particulars after our ride in Hyde Park. I spoke with your father, and he has given me leave to assist him with this task.”
The blood was still rushing through her ears and throbbing in her temples. “My marriage is a task?” she asked, her tongue as thick as her muddled thoughts.
Diana patted her hand. “Your dowry is. The marriage contract.” She squeezed Amber’s fingers. “I am thrilled that we can be true friends now. You can marry a respectable man, and we can visit one other every day if we like.” The excitement in her voice was palpable.
“We weren’t friends before?” Good lord, she was being completely muttonheaded. Of course, they weren’t real friends. The difference in their station precluded that. But if she married well, then Lady Dunnamore and Mrs. Whomever She Became could become dear friends without a word of censure from anyone.
“Twenty thousand pounds,” Diana breathed. “I had no idea.”
Neither had Amber. And the idea made her sick to her stomach. It felt like she had been branded with a pound note and then set in the stocks to sell as a prize cow. Until this moment, this had been a holiday from the cage. A time to dance and wear pretty dresses, knowing for certain that at the end of it all, she would return to her home, her family, and her friends. And yes, the damned gray cage. But that was all part of the package of her life.
And now she was to be sold off in marriage? Certainly, she knew about marriage contracts, but she never thought that she would have one. Never thought that her father would negotiate for the best value in a husband as he would a lot of uncut stones.
She abruptly stood up, nearly spilling the lemonade that Lord Byrn still held in his hand. “I need to talk to my father,” she said tightly. She needed to know where he had found twenty thousand pounds. And why he wanted to be rid of her so desperately. Who would sit in the cage with her grandfather? Who would fashion jewelry for the store? Who would see that there were coals in the grate in winter and heavy blankets to keep them warm?
Those were things she did for her family. She had always done them since before her mother passed. And now they didn’t want her anymore? It couldn’t be. And yet the pain in her chest told her it was true.
“Miss Gohar. Miss—Amber! Wait!”
She jolted to a stop, only now realizing that she was halfway to the door. Everyone around them was staring at her as Lord Byrn made it to her side. “This isn’t seemly,” he said under his breath.
Seemly? It wasn’t at all seemly to sell a daughter like livestock. Meanwhile, Diana made it to her side. She spoke loud enough for all to overhear.
“Don’t worry, my dear. Your grandmother will be just fine. I’m sure it’s nothing serious, but we can go home and send a letter right away. There is no reason to worry.”
Her grandmother had died before she was born, but she recognized it for the ruse that it was. Diana had to give some excuse for her sudden distress, and that was as good as anything.
“I’ll get your wraps,” Lord Byrn said. Then he looked her in the eyes. “Don’t be concerned. I’ll take care of everything.”
That was exactly the problem! He had taken care of talking with her father and getting her a dowry. Diana was taking care of finding her a husband. And no one was taking care of what she wanted at all.
But the moment she thought it, she knew it for the lie it was. Hadn’t all of this been exactly what she’d prayed for? The parties, the dancing, the husband to whisk her away to a life of ease. She had dreamed of exactly that, and suddenly it was possible. With twenty thousand pounds, she might even garner a husband with a title. And though that was still not likely, it wasn’t out of reach anymore. Suddenly, she didn’t like reaching at all. She just wanted to be home, where no one complimented her teeth or spoke about their dogs. Where she was nothing and no one at all but the girl who daydreamed and made jewelry in secret.
And now, damn it, she was about to cry. What was wrong with her?
“Here you go,” Lord Byrn said as he set her wrap upon her shoulders. Then he gave her his right arm and his sister his left before escorting them outside to his waiting carriage.
“Really, Amber,” Diana began, “this is something to celebrate.”
Was it?
“It’s just new,” Elliott said. “And new is always frightening.”
Is that what they thought? Of course, it was. Because to them, the buying and selling of wives was how things were done. Except it had never been done that way for her. Everyone had assumed that eventually, she would meet someone and fall in love. A butcher’s boy or a baker’s son. No one but her had dreamed of a prince at a ball.