“Come on, Carmine. You’re killing me here.”
He just shakes his head and continues taunting me, teasing me. His touch is gentle, his kisses wet and carefully placed over my already heated skin.
I arch my back, wanting nothing more than to have him fuck me hard on this table. What’s with the gentle shit?
Sex is impatient. Fast and dirty.
It’s not this.
“Carmine,” I breathe when his fingers brush over my most intimate lips. “Jesus, don’t be such a tease.”
He chuckles and licks up my stomach to my navel and then farther to the underside of my small breasts.
Who knew that little spot was so damn sensitive?
“You’re killing me.”
“Just relax,” he croons. His voice is thick and sounds like melted chocolate. Full of lazy lust and affection, and it does something to me.
Something I don’t recognize—or particularly feel comfortable with.
My throat closes, and my core clenches when his lips drag up over one already perky nipple. I don’t know what this is. My already raw emotions are even more on the surface, and I don’t like it. I don’t want to feel vulnerable with him.
“Damn it, Carmine, you’re going too slow. Just fuck me already!”
He stills, pulls his hands back, and raises his head to look down at me. “That’s not what I’m doing here, Nadia.”
“What are you doing?”
My breasts rise and fall with my breaths, coming faster now. What is all of this emotion?
“I don’t have to spell it out for you.”
“Yeah, I think you do. You have me tied in knots here. Just do it already. What’s wrong with you?”
His eyes narrow, and if I’m not mistaken, he looks hurt. But before I can say anything, he quickly unfastens his slacks and pushes into me, hard.
“Is this what you want?” he demands and then slams into me again. And again. “You just want me to fuck you?”
I grip onto the edge of the table and hold on tight, but he suddenly stops and swears under his breath.
“Goddamn it.”
“Carmine.”
“Just give me a second.” He shakes his head, and I can see despair there. Confusion. So, I sit up and take his face in my hands. “A few months ago, I would have simply fucked you until you walked wrong and been content with that. But that’s not where we are anymore, Nadia.”
I frown as he kisses the palm of my hand. “Carmine, we’re enjoying each other. Having a good time together.”
“Yeah, we are, but it’s more than that. And if you say it’s not, that you don’t have any feelings for me beyond that, you’re lying.”
I bite my lip and feel my eyes fill. And that just pisses me off.
“Don’t cry, baby.”
“I’m not.” I clear my throat.
“I can’t just fuck you and then go on with my day. Not anymore. I feel more than that, and I’ll be damned if I continue denying it—if that’s what you’re asking me to do.”
“I don’t know what I’m asking.”
“Why is this so hard for you?” He brushes his thumb over my lower lip, his eyes following the movement.
I want to give in to my feelings for him. I want to fall in love with him.
“Of course, I have feelings for you. Maybe tender sex just isn’t my thing.”
“You’re not a great liar.”
“I’m an amazing liar,” I disagree and narrow my eyes. “But maybe I’m not lying about that.”
“You are. Tell me why you don’t want to be vulnerable with me like this. Jesus, Nadia, we’ve been honest with each other about so many things over the past few months. We’ve seen a lot and been through more. Why does this level of intimacy scare you?”
I shake my head. I don’t want to admit that I’m scared, and I hate him for putting me in this position. Why can’t we go back to it being simple?
Why do I find it so hard to do this?
“What if I get my heart set on something that isn’t possible?”
There. I said it out loud.
The look in Carmine’s brown eyes softens, and he tips his forehead against mine. “We don’t know that it’s impossible.”
“We don’t know that it’s not,” I say and hear the tremble in my voice. “Falling in love with you, really falling in love, was never part of the plan.”
“No. It wasn’t.” He kisses me gently. “I hated your guts for a long, long time, Nadia. I wanted to make you hurt. Wanted to make your whole family pay.”
I frown. “Well, that’s one way to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.”
“Smartass.” He smiles and kisses my nose. “But then I spent time with you, learned who you are. And I know that not only are you not the one I should hate, but I respect the hell out of you. You’re going to make one hell of a Bratva boss one day.”
My mouth just opens and closes in surprise. I’ve never felt more naked. Exposed. Not just physically but emotionally, as well.
He’s still inside me, and he just stripped my emotions bare.
“I want that,” I whisper.
“I know. And you deserve it. But even more than that, I’ve grown quite fond of the woman you are. One who enjoys sweets and can kick ass. Who isn’t afraid to ask for help when she needs it. A woman who spends more money than some people make in a year on a used handbag.”
“You really need to get over that.”
He laughs and finally starts to move, slowly, in and out of me.
“You’re everything,” he says. It sounds so simple but carries so much weight. And all I can do is show him how I feel because I can’t say the words.
I just can’t.
I brush my fingers through his hair and kiss his shoulder as he slowly makes love to me. And after I have the craziest climax of my life, he carries me to the bedroom.
“We aren’t done yet.”
“You may not be, pal, but I’m exhausted.”
He chuckles and kisses my cheek. “We’ll wake you up again.”
Okay, so there’s something to be said for making love.
I’ve never done it before.
I feel energized the next morning. Satisfied. And oddly…sentimental.
I’m not an overly romantic girl. Damn him for digging his way under my skin when I wasn’t looking and making me get all used to him.
“Here we are,” Carmine says as our taxi stops next to the entrance of the cemetery. He takes my hand, and we walk over to the towering iron gates.
“This place is huge,” I say as I look at a map. “We might be here awhile.”
“We have all day.”
We walk inside, up a short hill, and then all I can do is stand and gape. The cemetery is enormous. The headstones are old and different, and I can’t wait to check them all out.
“Let’s go this way and then check out the mausoleums last,” I suggest.
“Lead the way,” he says, gesturing with his arm. He’s dressed casually today in a black T-shirt and cargo shorts, and he makes my mouth water.
How can a man look like that in a shirt and have it be legal?
I have no idea.