“One taste,” he whispered against her mouth, his lips nibbling hers, so fucking hungry for her he was surprised he didn’t shake with it. “Open for me, baby. I need this.” He suckled on her lower lip. “Op—” He blinked as she shoved him hard, sending him skidding back a few feet.
Condemning herself for being so damn weak when it came to this male, Havana pointed a shaking finger at him. “You don’t get to do this.”
His nostrils flared. “Havana—”
“You gave me up. I was the one to end the fling, yes, but you soon learned why. Did you offer me what I needed? No. You wanted things to go back to the way they were. And when you realized that wasn’t going to happen, you took me home and then walked away. So you don’t get to come here and pull this shit.”
“I didn’t walk away because you don’t matter. I did it because you do matter. I’m doing what’s best for you.”
“Bullshit. When it comes to us, you’ve only ever done what’s best for you. It was best for you to have boundaries, so we had them. It was best for you to have nothing more than casual, so you tried to talk me into changing my mind when I ended it. And now you’re here, tossing me crumbs from your table, so I’ll struggle to forget you and move forward. That is definitely not best for me. But it’s what you want, so you did it.”
He stalked to her, his eyes hard. “It’s not like that. You’ve got things twisted in your head, and maybe that’s on me, since I am pretty selfish when it comes to you—I won’t deny that. But I’m not bullshitting you about this, Havana. I don’t know how to give you more without hurting you.”
She threw up her arms. “I don’t know what that means.”
“My cat … he’s obsessed with you. But he does that—focuses all his energy onto one female, gets all wrapped up in her—then he later pulls away from her out of goddamn nowhere. He’s done it ever since Ashlynn.”
Thrown, Havana could only stare at him.
“There were times he was so infatuated with a woman that I thought he’d finally gotten over his shit,” Tate went on, looking so tired all of a sudden. “But I was wrong every time. I don’t know what he’s looking for in a partner, but he never fucking finds it. So then he withdraws, leaving women confused and hurt. Shallow flings with firm boundaries are just simpler. Nobody has any expectations. Nobody gets hurt. There are no recriminations when I’m forced to walk away.”
Havana wished he hadn’t told her, because she didn’t want to “understand.” She wanted to hold onto her anger so that it would drown out the hurt. But how could she not feel bad for both Tate and his cat? “Sounds like your feline has commitment issues. Or he withdraws to protect himself from further hurt. It would be understandable if he just didn’t want to put himself out there again.”
Havana would be just as averse to relationships if the situation was reversed. Her devil? Well, she’d probably rage about it for the rest of her days. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner about your cat’s struggles?”
Tate lifted a brow. “Would you admit your devil’s failings to others?”
No, because she was as protective of the devil as the animal was of Havana. Predators didn’t admit to weaknesses. In which case it was no small thing that he’d opened up to her about this.
Havana rubbed at her chest. Right then, she truly ached for both Tate and his cat. All they’d done was love and commit themselves so fully to a woman that they’d thrown themselves wide open to the concept of imprinting. In return, that woman had tossed it all back in their faces. They hadn’t deserved that.
She frowned as a thought struck her. “I know your ex screwed you both, but it’s possible he’s holding back from other women because he nevertheless wants her back.”
His cat’s face scrunched up, and Tate couldn’t help but snicker. “Trust me when I say that he has no lingering feelings for her. He just can’t forgive or get past her betrayal. He refuses to let it go.”
“Pallas cats can sure hold a grudge.” She sighed, her shoulders drooping. “I get why you stick to casual now. I’d probably do the same thing, in your shoes. I appreciate you sharing all that with me. I know it couldn’t have been easy. I won’t repeat it to anyone.”
“I know you won’t.” Tate trusted her completely, but he couldn’t be so sure his cat had the same faith in her. He took a slow step closer. “I wish I met you before Ashlynn fucked up my cat’s ability to trust.”
“It might not be that he can’t trust another female. It might be that he’s just not willing to try.”
“True. I can’t be sure either way.” He tilted his head. “Still pissed at me?”
She let out a heavy exhale. “No. Like I said, I understand now why you stick to casual flings. But the friends-thing still isn’t going to happen for a while. Turning up here to ‘visit’ me … it isn’t fair to me, Tate, and you know it. You know you can’t do this again.”
His shoulders tensed. “Babe—”
“I’ve never asked you for anything. Not even for a real relationship, despite how much I wanted one with you. I respected your wish to stick with casual. I didn’t condemn you for it, didn’t bitch about it. But I need something from you now.”
He ground his teeth, because he knew what was coming. “Havana, it’s not—”
“I need you to give me as much space as you reasonably can so I can move on. That’s all, Tate. You can at least give me that, can’t you?”
“You truly believe you’ll be able to see me as nothing more than your landlord? You really think it’ll be that easy for you to just cut me out of your life?”
Havana gave him a sad smile. “You were never really in it, were you, Tate?”
The door creaked open, and Bailey entered. She came to a sudden halt, her eyes widening. “Oh, um … I can go, if you guys are in the middle of something.”
“No, stay,” said Havana, glad of the interruption. The conversation needed to end yesterday. “Tate’s leaving now.” He didn’t move, though. Seconds of tense silence ticked by as he speared her with that unbearably intense gaze. The silence grated on her raw nerves.
Finally, he sighed, and his expression morphed into one of resignation. She’d finally gotten through to him; she could see it. But it was a bittersweet victory, because it meant they’d be virtual strangers from now on.
“You know where I am if you need me,” said Tate, his voice devoid of emotion. He gave Bailey a curt nod and then left.
As the door shut behind him, Havana swallowed hard, her stomach sinking. Hot tears stung the backs of her eyes. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t.
Bailey arched her brows. “What just happened here?”
“I finally made him hear me,” replied Havana. “But not before he tried coaxing ‘one last kiss’ out of me.” She’d almost given in. Almost allowed herself that luxury. Which wouldn’t have stopped at a kiss—she knew that as sure as she knew her own name. In no time at all, he’d have had her pinned against the wall drilling his cock into her. And part of her lamented that she hadn’t just let it happen.