I did a quick U-turn so we could park on the same side of the street. Then I stopped us in front of the gate and put the Cadillac in park.
Clara stared out her window, seeing past the rusted chain and padlock to the mess beyond.
“We—”
She was out of the car before I could tell her we didn’t have to go in.
I stayed in my seat and looked back at August.
His eyes were glued to the window. To his mother. “What’s she doing?”
“Just looking.”
Clara walked to the gate. She put her hands to the chain link, her fingers splaying between the holes. She stood there, her spine straight. Then she shoved away, and as quickly as she’d gotten out of the car, she was back in it, shaking her head. “This was a bad idea. I can’t . . .”
“It’s okay. Let’s go to the hotel.”
Her chin fell. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We’ll come back tomorrow. And if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”
Clara nodded as her shoulders curled forward.
I put both hands on the wheel, holding it so I wouldn’t hold her, and got us the fuck away from the junkyard.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” Clara pushed her sunglasses into her hair and turned to face me. “I didn’t expect to feel so much. I thought once I saw it that I’d want to go inside.”
“No need to apologize.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I didn’t expect it to hurt so much. Not having Lou there. Isn’t that crazy? We didn’t even know the man.”
“Yeah, we did. We knew what mattered.”
Lou had cared for us in the only way he’d been able. He’d given us a shelter. He’d given us protection. And he’d given us his secrecy. I couldn’t have asked more from the man.
“Mom! Watch this one!” August jumped with all his might from the edge of the pool and did a spin before splashing into the water.
“We’re in that stage. The watch me stage.” Clara smiled and clapped for her son as he surfaced in the pool. “He’d live in the pool if he could.”
“All right, I’m going in.” An hour in the heat and I was ready for a swim.
I stood up from the lounge chair and stripped off my T-shirt. I tossed it away, glancing at Clara only to find her attention was on my torso. My chest. My arms. My abs. Unless I’d forgotten how to read attraction, there was lust in her eyes.
Christ. She wasn’t making this easy on me.
Like she’d heard my thought, she ripped her eyes away, dropping her focus to her lap.
That was my cue to get the hell in the water. In three long strides I was at the pool’s edge. I dove in, giving a long kick as I surfaced beside August.
He laughed, his arms spread wide with his water wings on his biceps helping to keep him afloat.
“Want to play a game?” I asked.
“Okay!”
Then I spent the next hour launching him into the air and crashing into the water. He laughed, we both did, every time.
Clara never moved from her chair. She stayed, watching. At first, she’d done it with a smile, but as the afternoon went on, the happy look on her face vanished. She almost looked . . . sad. Why would me playing with her kid make her look miserable?
Finally, after his fingers were pruney and the sunscreen Clara had smeared on him had most certainly worn off, she dragged her son to their hotel room to shower and get dressed for dinner.
They had a suite with a couple of bedrooms. My single was across the hall and we met in the lobby an hour later.
Much like last night at the restaurant in Elyria, August stole the show. He told me all of the things he wanted for his upcoming birthday and how he was having a pool party at Brody and Aria’s house with six friends from his school. The kid was an exceptional buffer.
Every time I looked at Clara, every time my gaze lingered on the long line of her neck or the pretty shape of her ears, August would demand my attention.
Bless that kid.
And fuck my life.
When dinner ended and we walked back to the hotel, I was strung tight, ready to say good night and hit the pavement for another punishing run.
“Temecula is nice,” Clara said as we reached the hotel lobby.
“Huh?” I’d been too busy staring at her ass in those goddamn shorts because I was an asshole. A complete motherfucking asshole.
“The city. It’s nice,” she said as August pushed the button to call the elevator. “You get away from the shi—bad neighborhoods where we grew up and it’s actually sort of charming with the Old Town wineries and hot air balloons.”
We’d seen three balloons over the course of the day and each had enamored Gus.
“In another life, I would have stayed here,” I said. “It is a nice town.” But history tainted even the best of places.
“What made you leave? You said you always remembered Elyria. Was that why you moved?”
“No. I left because I didn’t have to stay anymore.”
“Have to?”
I gave her a sad smile as we stepped into the elevator. “For my mom.”
“Oh.”
“That’s another discussion.” I nodded at Gus. He didn’t need to hear the gory details about the end of my mother’s life.
The elevator carried us to the fourth floor and we all stopped in the hallway outside our rooms. Clara opened her door, letting August inside. “Thanks for dinner. And for your patience today.”
“Do you want to go with me tomorrow? No judgment if you don’t.”
“Yeah.” She seemed steadier now, like she’d conquered her fears. “I’d like to go tomorrow.”
“Okay. Meet you in the lobby at about seven.”
“Perfect. Good night, Karson.” She turned to disappear into her room but the curiosity from earlier at the pool came rushing back and I shot out an arm, brushing my fingers along her elbow.
The shiver running down her body was visible.
The fire racing through mine was not.
“Why didn’t it work out with August’s dad?”
Clara’s eyes closed. Her chin dropped. For the second time I’d pushed this subject. When was I going to learn to let it go?
“Sorry. I’ll leave it alone. Good night, Clara.” I dug the key from my pocket and unlocked my door. It was only after I’d taken one step inside that she whispered my name. When I turned, she had tears in those beautiful brown eyes.
“He wasn’t you.”
One sentence and she destroyed me. Then she rushed into her room, leaving me with the answer that I’d wanted to hear.
And the answer I had to forget.
Chapter Thirteen
Karson
“I know I don’t really understand what it was like for you back then, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m here if you need to talk,” Holly said.
Because she was a good woman. And I didn’t deserve her. “Thanks, babe.”
“Call me later? After your meeting?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you coming home tonight?”
I glanced over at Clara and August, standing beside the Cadillac. “I don’t know. I was thinking I might stay another night, hang out, then take them to the airport.”