Persy would dedicate a few podcasts to discussing the insanity that’s Liv and me. She might even get a book deal out of my pathetic life.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I say, “Fine. If you don’t want to come with me, I’m staying.”
Not that I can stay. I live part-time in Colorado. The other part I travel, finding new suppliers, or working at the farm in Costa Rica.
“You’re the one thinking now.” She lifts her hand and smooths my forehead.
“I wish I could stay longer,” I confess.
“In another life,” she says, like always.
It sucks that in this life we are just two strangers who happen to come across each other when the wind blows the right way. It’s useless to wonder which reality I should be in when I already know where I belong.
“Who is this friend?” Persy inquires.
“Obviously, you don’t know her,” I answer. “As I explained, she lives in Boston.”
“I can send you a couple of names,” she sighs. “They work like me, virtually. It won’t matter where she lives.”
“Thank you. I owe you one.”
“When are you coming home?” she asks.
“Why?”
“Everyone is out of town. Ford and I need a date night. I’d love it if you could babysit Leah.”
“I should be back next week. Where’s Nyx?”
“She’s going to be in Seattle until my birthday,” she answers. “Ford sent our parents to South Asia—all expenses paid. They won’t be back until mid-October.”
“How are they doing?”
My parents are struggling just as we are. They lost their baby. The kid who never accepted them. It’s to no one’s surprise that they feel as if they’ve failed Callie.
“Better,” she whispers. “It still feels unreal. One moment we had hopes that things would turn around between us. The next we received the call—Callie is gone. As a parent, you’re not supposed to bury your child. I think we’re all doing the best we can to grieve, to come to terms with how things ended between us, and most importantly to understand that none of this was our fault.”
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. It feels as if we lost her twice. The first time was when she moved away because she couldn’t live with us. The second was when she died. We can’t get real closure. I understand that we were a lot different, but how the fuck did we end up like the bad guys in her story?
“The hardest part is moving on without blaming myself for what happened to her,” I confess.
“I said it then, and I’ll repeat it: We weren’t driving that truck. The accident could’ve happened here in Colorado, and still, it wouldn’t be our fault. We hurt, and the pain makes us take some of the blame.”
“I’m working on it,” I mumble.
“If it makes you feel any better, you’re the best brother a little sister can have.”
“I’m lucky to have you and Nyx.”
“So, where are you?”
I chuckle. “In Boston.”
“Helping your friend?”
“Yes. As I said, I should be back home next week. Text me the information when you gather it, okay?”
There’s a loud wail on the other side of the line. “Go, your boss is getting grumpy. Give her a big kiss from her favorite uncle.”
“I will. Please, take care of yourself.”
“You too.”
Even when I’m here helping Liv with her mom, I wonder if I also came to take a break from the ghosts. The past. From all the noise rattling inside my head. All the chaos that unleashed after Callie died. For some unknown reason, I can breathe a lot better when I’m with Liv. If I could, I’d stay until Beatriz is better. I smile, recalling Liv’s words, “In another life.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Liv: Leah is adorable!
Liv: Thank you for sending all those pictures. Are you on babysitting duty?
Eros: That took a long time. I thought you were ignoring me again.
Liv: Mom had her last chemo treatment. They’re running another set of tests afterward to decide if they’re doing radiation treatments too.
Eros: How is Beatriz doing?
Liv: The therapist helped, but she still wants to go home as soon as the doctor allows it.
Eros: How are you?
Liv: Concerned. I’m afraid that she’ll relapse.
Eros: Because you won’t be able to watch over her?
Liv: I know it’s an unfounded fear, but I can’t help myself.
Eros: You should try going to a therapist too.
Liv: Are you going to one?
Eros: As a matter of fact, I am.
Liv: I’ll think about it. So, what have you been up to?
Eros: The pictures I just sent you are from yesterday. I spent the entire day at Persy’s babysitting Leah. Apparently, I’m her official nanny.
Liv: You spend a lot of time with her.
Eros: She’s fun to be around. Plus, I can bring my computer and work from here.
Liv: I take it you’re visiting Persy.
Eros: Yes. She and Ford have a couple of deadlines to meet. I offered to help. It’s a cool deal. I get free food while working. the best part is that I hang out and play with my favorite girl.
Eros: When are you going back to work?
Liv: The last week of October. It’ll be good to go back to normal.
Eros: You miss bossing people around.
Liv: I might. It’s fun.
Eros: Hey, Leah is crying from the top of her lungs. It’s time to change her diaper and get her ready before Persy feeds her.
Liv: Good luck!
Eros: Happy Thanksgiving!
Liv: Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
Eros: Where are you celebrating?
Liv: In Boston. Dad and Dan arrived last Monday. They’re pampering me.
Liv: Well, Dan is pampering me. Dad is micromanaging me.
Eros: Where’s Beatriz?
Liv: Mom left for Canada last week.
Eros: Are you okay with that?
Liv: I’m handling it well enough. Where are you spending the day?
Eros: We’re in Seattle at Nyx’s house. Christmas is at my parents’ and for New Year’s we’re going on vacation. They haven’t told me where we’re going yet. As long as it’s warm and tropical, I won’t complain.
Liv: I should propose that to Dad and Dan. Boston is too cold.
Eros: How long are you going to stay there? i thought you’d be leaving the branch once you found someone to manage it.
Liv: Probably another year. After that, I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Eros: I can hire you.
Liv: We agreed that it’ll happen when I can buy half of the company.
Eros: Hurry up, lady. The company’s value is increasing as we speak.
Liv: You have no idea how happy I am that it’s a success.
Eros: Thanks to you. this is your brain child.
Liv: It’s ours. I’m glad you took a leap of faith. If I had kept the idea, it’d be an afterthought.
Liv: Hey, let’s text later tonight or tomorrow. I need to start peeling the apples for the salad. Happy Thanksgiving.
Eros: Happy Groundhog Day!