“Oh, speaking of which, Pallina called.”
“When?”
“Just a little while ago, when you were still out. She said to tell you that they’re going out and they’re going to Vetrine. That she’ll wait for you, not to act all difficult and just come. She said that she knows everything. And then she said something else, ummmm, it was like the name of an animal. Puppy, little mouse…Oh, right, she said, ‘Say hi to the little fish for me.’ Who’s the little fish?”
As Babi turned to look at Daniela, she felt wounded, found out, betrayed. So Pallina knew.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just a joke of ours.”
It was going to be too complicated to explain. Too humiliating. Rage swept over her for a second and followed her silently into her bedroom. In the sunset painted on the glass panes of her window, she glimpsed the arc of that story. Step’s mouth, his amused smile, the story, and Pollo next to him, his laughter and then Pallina and who knows who else.
She’d been stupid. She should have told her girlfriend. She would have understood her and consoled her. She would have been on her side, as always. Babi had no doubt about that. And this, at least, was nice.
Then she looked at the big photo on her armoire. And for a moment, she felt a stab of hatred. But only for a fleeting instant. Slowly, her arms dropped to her side, silently, weakly. Pride, dignity, fury, and indignation overcame her as she approached his image.
For a moment, they seemed to smile at each other. Arms wrapped around each other in the setting sun, close even if different. He was made of laminated paper; she was filled with clear-eyed emotions, finally lucid and sincere. They looked at each other.
Then she shyly lowered her eyes and, without wanting to, found herself facing the mirror. She looked at herself, and in that moment, she failed to recognize herself. Her eyes dancing, smiling, that luminous flesh…Even her face seemed different to her.
She pulled her hair back, and for an instant, she was someone else. She smiled happily at what she’d never been before. A woman in love, uncertain and worried about how to dress that evening.
* * *
Later, after her folks had given her yet another dressing-down and had then gone out for one of their usual dinners, Babi walked into Daniela’s bedroom. “Dani, I’m going out.”
“Where are you going?” Daniela asked.
“To Vetrine.” Babi pulled a few sweaters out of Daniela’s drawers and threw open the doors of her armoire. “Listen, where did you put the black skirt…the new one…”
“I’m not lending it to you! If I do, you’ll throw that one away too! No way.”
“Oh, come on. It was just bad luck that time, no?”
“Yes, but tonight you might have more bad luck. You might wind up in a mud puddle. No, I’m not lending you that skirt. It’s the only one that actually fits me. I really can’t let you have it, no kidding.”
“Right, but then when I race as a chamomile or get my picture in the newspaper, then you boast to all your friends and tell them that you’re my sister. But you don’t tell them that you refused to lend me your skirt!”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do with it, believe me. You just need to ask me a favor.”
“All right, go ahead and take it.”
“No, now I don’t want it anymore…”
“No, now you have to take it…”
“No, now I don’t want it…”
“Oh, really? Then unless you’re wearing my skirt when you walk out that door, I’m going to call Mamma right up and let her know.”
Babi swung around angrily on her sister. “You’re going to do what?”
“Exactly what I just told you.”
“I’ll slap your cheeks red as a tomato…”
Daniela made a funny face, and at last, they both burst out laughing. Daniela went into her bedroom and opened the closet.
“Here.” She laid the black skirt on the bed. “It’s all yours. Dive into mud with it, if that’s what makes you happy.”
Babi took the skirt in both hands and held it up against her belly. She started trying to imagine what she could wear over it.
The telephone rang. Daniela went to answer it. “Hello? Oh, hi…”
In her room, Babi turned up the radio. The music inundated the apartment.
Daniela put down the receiver. “Marcello, hold on for a second.” She shut the door to the hallway and then resumed talking, relaxed now.
Babi turned her bedroom upside down. The armoire stood open, all the drawers spread out on the floor. There was clothing on the bed. Indecision.
She went to her mother’s bedroom. She opened her big armoire. She started rummaging. Every so often she’d remember something. Could that be right for the black skirt? She opened the drawers. She was careful where she put her hands. Things had to go back where they belonged, otherwise her mother would notice. Mothers notice everything, or practically everything. Even Raffaella had overlooked Pallina’s Vespa.
But never send a mother to buy the same kind of jeans you saw your girlfriend wearing. They’ll always bring you the kind that the biggest loser in the class wears. She smiled.
A sky-blue angora sweater. Too warm. A silk blouse. Too fancy. A black jacket with a bodysuit underneath it. Too funereal, too somber. But the bodysuit wasn’t bad. Bodysuit under a blouse? Let’s give it a try.
She shut the drawers again. She started back to her bedroom. She’d left a red sweater on the bed. She’d be caught. She put it back. Would her mother notice? Enthusiasm won out over fear.
“Who the hell cares!” The threat of punishment vanished, disintegrating in the mirror. Babi stared at herself, puzzled. Bodysuit under blouse, no, and Dani’s skirt doesn’t work with any of this anymore. So much the better.
But what am I going to wear? Denim overalls? She hastily pulled open the bottom drawer. She pulled it out, faded, short, and rumpled: Exactly the way my mother hates it most. Exactly the way he would love it most, she felt certain. Rapidly, she slipped out of her clothing. In a split second, she was ready. She looked at herself in the mirror. Perfect. She put on the faded jeans shirt, tucked it down into the pants, and then pulled up the suspenders. She flopped down onto the bed, picked up the short gym socks and put them on, and then put on her high-top All Stars, navy blue, the same shade as the elastic headband she found in the bathroom. She brushed her hair and pulled it back. A pair of fish-shaped colorful earrings, looking as if they’d come from the South Seas. She straightened the collar of the shirt.
Then she started putting on her makeup. The music was pounding at full volume. A black line made her eyes look wider. The gray eyeliner pencil made them look smoky, in an attempt to make them look even more beautiful. Her white teeth were scented with mint. A delicate sheen of pink covered her soft lips. While her cheeks, naturally apple red in color, were tinged to perfection of their own accord.
Daniela was still on the phone when the music suddenly stopped. As the hallway door slowly opened, Daniela turned around. Babi appeared in the dim light. She took a few steps and then stopped. The glow from the nearby living room enveloped her completely.
Daniela stopped talking into the telephone. “Wow, you look gorgeous!”