“Why are you smiling?” Henry asks, before turning to look at the other guys. “Right? She’s smiling.”
I laugh at that, taking a seat and grabbing my own burrito from the bag. The guys must be ravenous because they dig in, mumbling out their thank yous in between large bites. “Why wouldn’t I be smiling?” I ask just before taking a bite, grateful that burritos are single-handed food.
“I don’t know,” Henry murmurs around a mouthful of food. “It’s a different smile, I guess. A happy one.”
“A different smile?” Jasper questions, looking at me with an inquisitive brow before turning back to Henry. “You studying her smile now, man? Careful not to do it too closely. She works for us.”
Jasper says this in jest. In fact, Henry calls him a hypocrite while throwing a balled-up napkin at him and Jasper laughs. But I still catch Keith wincing out of the corner of my eye before it’s just as quickly gone. Regret is oozing off him in waves though. We may still be us and it might not be awkward between us, but he hasn’t met my eyes since the elevator.
Not once.
It makes me want to provoke him just to get him to look at me.
“Henry is right actually and clearly observant as hell.” I wink at him, giving him more of that smile.
“I play bass. It’s my job to be observant. Spill it. Why are you smiling such a beaming smile?”
“What dude says beaming smile?”
“What’s up your ass, man?” Henry snaps back at Keith. “You’ve been a twatty bitch since you stepped into the studio.”
Keith just grumbles under his breath, going back to his burrito. Yeah, that might be my fault there, Henry. I kissed your bandmate and I don’t think he’s too happy about it.
“Well,” I jump in, wiping my mouth and reaching into my purse. “Check this out.” I pull up their Instagram account since that has the most action going. We’re up to over two hundred thousand likes and several thousand comments already. I hand it to Henry first since he asked why I’m smiling.
“That’s us from this morning?” His brows pinch together. “Damn, that’s getting some serious movement.”
I nod. “Yup. I also updated the links in your profile so that it has your new album’s pre-order at the top.”
“And I’m very grateful for that,” Lyric chimes in, her hazel eyes glowing as she winks at me. “That was smart thinking.”
“For real. I should have you to take over Naomi’s social media,” Gus states. “She hates that. Like deep in her bones, hates that.”
I can understand why after all she’s been through. At least what was published publicly.
“I’d honestly be happy to Gus, but this was my first go and I’d hate to not do your girl up proper. Give me a week and if things continue to go well, I’d love nothing more than to help your lady love out.”
“And this is why I already love you.” He points a finger at me, and I grin.
“I actually ditto that. Not only are you more than likely getting these guys added pre-orders on their album, but you got my burrito order perfect and as they can attest, I’m a picky bitch.”
I gleam at her. More of those different smiles Henry noticed super-injected with a healthy dose of happiness.
“Then my job here is done.” I give a half bow.
And then it hits me. Why my smile looks different.
No one has ever given me praise before. Not for something I’ve done at least. Never at home growing up. Not at college either, and definitely not when I was working at Lavender or for the law firm.
That’s what’s making me happy.
The overwhelming pride I feel.
Henry doesn’t know me well enough to know this, but I haven’t felt happy like this in a very long time. And before now, it was only once before. When I first left home and went to college. Even now, this feels different. Better.
That happiness was fleeting as it was all ripped away from me.
Like everything else in my life always has been.
Is that what’s going to happen now?
I look at each of the guys, laughing and shooting the shit, and then over to Keith who I discover is staring at me with an indiscernible expression. Despite that, his eyes are searching, and while I’ve been nothing about candid with him since we met, suddenly, I don’t want him to read me so well. I don’t want him to know how jumbled up my mind is.
How he’s a large part of that mess, already, which just seems ludicrous.
The man who only a few nights ago admitted he doesn’t even care about the names of the women he fucks. Would I be so meaningless to him? Does it even matter?
No, I decide. It most certainly doesn’t because nothing will ever happen between us again. He said so himself.
And I have to guard myself. I have to protect my heart. I have to protect this job.
At all costs.
I can’t lose this. This feeling. This second chance. It’s everything, and right now, it’s all I’ve got.
15
Maia
* * *
“Who else is going to be there tonight?” I ask as Keith drives us up higher into the Hollywood Hills section of the city.
“Just us.”
I throw him an impatient glare I know he doesn’t see since his eyes are fixed on the road. “Who is us?”
“Jasper, Viola, Adalyn and Cora. Gus and Naomi. Lyric and her husband Jameson, who I don’t think you’ve met yet. Henry. I think Marco and maybe even Ethan because he’s in town.”
“Who is Ethan?”
“Another producer, but he’s also the COO of Turn Records. He’s mostly based in New York now though. You’ll love him. Him and Marco like to do shots together and tease the hell out us beefy straight men as they call us.”
“He’s gay too?”
“Yes.” Keith nods.
“Are him and Marco…”
“A couple?” he asks, filling in the blank. “No. Marco is about twenty years older than Ethan, and Marco has been seriously dating someone for the last year.”
“That scag,” I gasp. “He never told me that. All those breakfasts and he never once mentioned anything about a boyfriend.”
“That’s because Marco does not talk about him. He says it’s a jinx and the guy he’s with is very anti-LA, music-industry, or anything celebrity. He’s an accountant for an auditing firm.”
“I freaking love that. Still, that must make it rough for Marco.”
“Yeah, I’ve only met the guy once or twice, but he seems great,” Keith says, grinning quickly in my direction. Then, almost as if he catches himself doing it, quickly shifts back to the road.
We haven’t talked about the kiss. Or the ass smack. Or the elevator. Not since he told me it wasn’t going to happen again.
No, we’re completely immersed in this safe, neutral world where Maia and Keith live in a copacetic existence. It’s all superficial without flirting or teasing or easy banter. Basically, it’s our boring alter-ego, but right now, a necessary one. One I think we both seem to appreciate because we know the elevator was a moment of recklessness and temptation that can never, under any circumstances, happen again.