“That sounds pretty perfect.”
“I won’t always be perfect,” I warn. “I’ll get plenty wrong.”
“And I’ll keep pushing all your buttons. Fighting you at every turn.”
The hazy passion in her eyes and the alluring flush on her cheeks kicks my heart rate up a notch. Two shattered souls that with the right rearranging of our broken pieces have the potential to become whole again. I can find myself in Maia. She grounds me. She connects me.
She sees me, flaws, fucked-upness and all.
It’s everything else that I’m battling. Not my feelings for her.
I lean in and kiss her lips. Softly. A gentle coaxing but with enough heat behind it to remind her of what’s to come. Standing, I push her back upright and help her off the counter, holding onto her as she adjusts her dress and fluffs out her hair. She meets my eyes in the mirror and winks at me, making my chest clench.
This is where I belong. With her. And I will fight everything, even myself, to keep it that way.
I plant a kiss in the crook of her neck, inhaling her fragrance and groaning. “Goddamn, I’m addicted to you.” The urge to fuck her is driving me insane.
A virgin.
That shit’s blowing my mind.
And I can’t even tell if that’s in a good way or not. It’s a challenge. Sure as hell, it is. But more than that, I want it to be perfect for her. When a girl waits until they’re twenty and picks you to go take their V-card, you better make damn sure it is.
And Maia isn’t just any girl.
A swift and uncontained sense of urgency slingshots through me. I take her hand and drag her out of the bathroom, down the hall, and straight through the front door of the mansion.
“In a rush?” she teases.
Life rule #69: Apply numbered since it’s smart-mouthed women make me hard while driving me crazy. Or maybe that’s not a life rule so much as a simple fact? Whatever. I am not to be trifled with. There is only so much remaining blood flow in my brain, and I will need all of it to get us home safely.
I throw her a cocked eyebrow and a sideways glance, and she quickly shuts up. She can see I am in no fucking around mode.
I bypass the curious valet attendant and find my truck quickly. No one here drives a truck. They all drive flashy sports cars. I help Maia up and in, and once she’s settled, I run around to get in. Time to go home. Time to ruin myself in this woman once and for all.
21
Maia
* * *
Anticipation beats out a heavy staccato through veins, making me edge, needy, nervous. The car ride home wasn’t quiet. It wasn’t riled with sexual tension either. It was easy. It was conversational. We discussed all the things that would happen on tour. All the roles and responsibilities I would have.
I’m going on tour with a major rock band.
That is no small thing. In fact, it’s a huge undertaking. The guys, and me, are flying on a private jet but their gear travels by huge buses like a caravan. Keith explained how this can be especially difficult with his drums and I listened to everything he had to say, mostly because I was still a bit shocked by how easy we just ebb and flow into different forms of us.
I’ve never known this level of comfort or intimacy with someone.
It’s euphoric and panic-inducing all in the same breath.
But now we’re home. In his home.
And tonight, I will not be sleeping in my bed.
“Go upstairs, get undressed and wait for me.”
That’s all he says before walking off toward his music room. Get undressed. Okay, that I can do. But does he mean fully naked? Then I inwardly laugh because I am fully naked beneath this dress. The man shredded my panties like he was tearing a piece of paper.
I take the steps, my heart thrumming like a rabbit as I reach my room. Wait for him. Do I do that in here? In his room?
Dammit, doesn’t he know this is my first time? That I have no idea what I’m doing?
And why am I letting him call all the shots?
You know why, my brain chimes in, and I do. Because I want him to.
I like to open my mouth and talk back about everything but when it comes to his hands on my body, I want to feel his power. It makes me feel wanton and desired and fucking protected. It makes me high, which is certainly not something I ever expected, but there it is.
Still, I decide to make him come to me.
I will crawl on my hands and knees to him, obey his every dirty command and love every second of it, but I have limits with that, and my need for control and self-preservation still appreciate knowing they have some skin in this game.
Slipping out of my dress, I stand naked at the foot of the bed and not even two hundred and forty seconds later—I counted—he enters the room, wearing nothing but the dress slacks he was wearing out tonight. His shirt is gone, as are his shoes and socks, and I take a moment to appreciate his chest and abs with my eyes.
So cut and chiseled, I can’t wait to run my hands all over him. An opportunity I have not been afforded as of yet. His eyes devour me, burning a path over every place they touch.
“Why are you in here?” he asks softly, sauntering over to me and stopping only a few inches away. I can feel the heat radiating from his chest. His masculine scent permeates the air. It’s heady and I take a deep inhale, shameless in my worship of him.
“You didn’t tell me where to go after I got undressed. All you said was wait for you.”
A slow, sexy smile curls up his lips. One hand comes up, cupping my jaw and tilting my head back. His other finds my bare hip, sliding back until he squeezes my ass cheek. His lips meet mine, just a delicate brush, a light tickle before they trail down across my jaw, moving lower to my neck.
“You’re finally admitting I’m in charge.”
I roll my eyes, trying for a levity I don’t even come close to feeling. “Sure. If you want to believe the illusion I bestow upon you, go for it.”
He’s not taking the bait. Instead, his eyes are intense and serious as they spear mine. “Tell me you’re ready,” he hums, returning to my neck. “Tell me yes.”
My eyes roll back into my head and all he’s doing is kneading my ass and kissing my neck. But it’s the way he’s kissing it. Hot, open-mouthed kisses along my pulse line. It’s so good I can—
Smack!
The hard crack on my ass jolts me back, and I remember he asked me a question. “Yes, I’m ready. And yes, I am telling you yes.” Then I smile because that last sentence was a bit redundant, but who cares. The message is obviously received because he swoops me effortlessly up into his arms and marches me down the hall toward his bedroom.
He kisses me, whispering sweet and dirty words in my ear, and I’m already dizzy.
“Open your eyes,” he commands. I hadn’t even realized I shut them. But when I open, I’m hit with the warm, soft, flickering glow of what can only be candlelight, and I gasp as he sets me down on my feet. My hand comes up to cover my mouth as I take in the scene Keith has arranged for me. His arms wrap around my waist from behind, his chin dropping to my shoulder. “Your first time should be special,” is all he says, and I have to swallow repeatedly so I don’t cry. As it is, tears are already clinging to my lashes.
“It’s beautiful,” I manage, but it’s so much more than that. I had no idea Keith had all these candles in his house, but wow. Fat pillar candles are on his tall dresser. Small votives line his short one. There are even a few more on his nightstands.