“No. I’ve tried that and, just no.”
“Fine, but don’t let one fucker get under your skin.”
“I won’t.” I let several get under my skin, I think to myself as I reflect on my past boyfriends.
“Good. That’s the spirit.”
“I should go. I have reading to do,” I say as I look over at my desk.
“Go be a student. I’ll talk to you later.”
“OK.”
“Love you, Ems.”
“Love you, too.” I let the phone fall onto my bed.
I stare at my ceiling a while longer before willing myself to get on with my life. Why should I care? It was one week of my life. I’ve spent more time with other guys who turned out to be total dicks and I got over them.
I contemplate texting Will, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I want to feel like I’m falling head over heels when I meet a guy and I’ve known Will for almost six months, and while I enjoy his company, I don’t feel butterflies when I’m around him.
My grandmother would say if you don’t feel the butterflies, then you shouldn’t be feeling the guy. I grin at that. I haven’t spoken to her in a while and I could use a good grandmother chat right now.
I call her and put her on speaker as I straighten up my room.
“Hello?” she says. Grandma Martha sounds like she smokes a pack a day, but she quit thirty years ago. Of course, she also mentions that she quit thirty years ago about every five minutes.
“Hey, Grandma!” I say.
“Em, is that you, cupcake?”
“It’s me. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine for an old lady. I’m not wearing diapers yet, so I can’t complain.”
I snort. “Uh, glad to hear that, I guess.”
“What’s on your mind, child? You’re young and you have a busy life, so if you are calling me out of the blue, it must be because something is on your mind.”
Grandma Martha doesn’t miss a thing.
I sigh. “I like a boy.”
“Oh? Is he cute?”
I can practically hear her rubbing her hands together in excitement. I roll my eyes. “Yes, but after two dates, he just ended things. Just like that, for no real reason.”
“How were the dates? Did you kiss him?”
“Yes.”
“Did you do the deed?”
“Grandma!” I yell, trying to cover my laugh. “No. We only went on two dates.”
“Well, back in my day I may have gotten to at least third base on the second date. I mean with your grandfather, we—”
“Ew! Grandma. No. I don’t want to hear about that. I just…what do you think? Should I just forget him?”
“You really like this boy, don’t you?” she asks.
I nod and then realize she can’t see me. “Yes. I do,” I confess.
“Well, give him another chance. Let him have a few days. He might come around. Maybe there are things going on that he can’t talk about right now. Sometimes, boys just don’t talk like us girls do. Your grandfather never used to tell me his problems, well, until they became my problems. It used to drive me batty.”
I grin. “I bet.”
“You just give him some space and time. He might come around.”
“OK,” I huff.
“How’s school?”
I tell her about my documentary and she “ohhs” and “ahhs” before we hang up and I go about folding my clothes. Maybe Grandma Martha is right. Maybe he will come back to me. I hold on to that small glimmer of hope as I settle in with a book.
Grady
I stare at my notes. I should be working, but all I can think about is Emma. Why did I do that? What was I thinking? God, I’m an idiot. The one good thing to come my way in a long time and I throw it away just because something is scary. I should be protecting her. The officers don’t think she’s in danger, especially after I told them we broke up, but I can’t help feeling worried about her.
I look down to see a text from my mom.
Mom: You should call Emma.
Me: Stay out of it.
Mom: I’m just saying.
Me: STAY OUT OF IT!
Mom: Fine. But I just called her about her project, and I can tell she’s sad.
Me: She’ll get over it.
Mom: Don’t be a dick. I love you.
I toss my phone down. I love my mom, but she’s meddling too much in my personal life lately. She keeps saying she wants to see me settled like I’m forty-five or something. I pace the room. There’s so much on my mind right now. Emma. My brother. Telling my mom about my brother. The band’s next album. Oh, and a stalker.
I decide to say, “fuck it” and see if Max wants to hang out. Max always has a way of making me feel better.
Me: You want to hang out?
Max: Is the Pope Catholic?
Me: Beach?
Max: Beer?
Me: Hell yes.
Max: See you in thirty.
I grab my guitar case, a blanket, and some beer and I head down to the beach. I find our spot. Rhett, Max, and I have had the same beach spot for years. It’s our thing, and I hope it always will be. I’m pulling out my guitar when Max sits down.
I crack open a beer, hide it in a koozie, and hand it to him, we cheers.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks me.
“Nope.”
“Want to get wasted and play some music?”
“Hell yes.”
He laughs and pulls his guitar out of a case. We sit there on the beach and jam, playing everything and nothing in particular. By the time the sun sets, we are a good four beers each into a stupor. I lie back on the blanket and stare up at the sky.
“You should call her,” Max says.
“No, that’ll just make it worse. I fucked up. It’s over.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I turn to him. “Dude, we have a stalker. I can’t bring her into my life right now. What if something happens?”
“Just be honest with her.”
I shrug.
“Come on, let’s go for a walk. You need to clear your head,” he says standing up and giving me a hand to help me.
I take his hand and pull him into a bear hug. “I love you, bro.”
He thumps my back. “I love you, too, you dumb shit.”
I grin. Max always makes me feel better.
We walk down to the water, where the sand is hardened from the waves crashing on the shore. I look out and see a dolphin pod. Pointing, Max turns at the same time I do, and we sit and watch them playing in the waves.
“I think dolphins are my spirit animal,” Max states.
I laugh. “I thought sloths were.”
He shrugs. “There aren’t any rules, you know. You can have more than one spirit animal.”
“Can you?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“In my world, you can.”
I shake my head at my goofy friend. I just love him. He has the purest heart of anyone I know.
“Why’d you do it, man?”
“Do what?” I frown.
“I get we have a stalker. Bands get them all the time. It’s like some sort of warped badge of honor telling us that we made it. But, why ditch the one girl who’s brought a real smile to your face in who knows how long?”