It sounded and felt like a dig. “What are you rebelling against?”
Kimber blew out a stream of smoke into the night air. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it does. If it’s a good cause, I’ll join the rebellion.”
Her sister’s laugh was dry. “That’s the last thing I need.”
Remi took a breath and tried to focus on what lay behind her sister’s words. “Are you and Kyle okay?” she asked.
“Define okay. Yes, we’re still married. No, he didn’t come home for Ian’s Media Club Awards at the school tonight because it was easier to stay another night instead of seeing his kids and commuting in the morning.”
Remi winced. “Does he do that often?”
She ignored the question. “You know what he did have time for? To ask me if everything was okay with you. Apparently you called him looking for some vague legal advice, and now he’s worried you’re in trouble.”
“It’s nothing,” Remi said quickly.
“Nothing? Do you know what it would take for my husband to remember that I exist in any capacity beyond folder of laundry and raiser of children?” Kimber’s voice rose shrilly.
Remi decided to stay quiet. She was no stranger to emotional volcanic activity. But this was her first time witnessing her big sister lose her cool.
“Since Kyle’s concerned. And Mom and Dad are concerned. Why don’t we talk about you? How’s your life, Remi? How’s your asthma?”
“I’d rather talk about you.”
“Really? I thought you only thrived with all the attention in the room on you.” A tiny tear tracked its way down her sister’s cheek.
“Okay,” Remi said, taking a step back. “You’re obviously going through some tough things. I should go.”
“What’s it like being fascinating? No one’s found me interesting, let alone fascinating, since before I had kids,” Kimber mused. “Maybe never.”
Remi started for the gate. “Call me later.”
“You and your technicolor brain and your deficient lungs and your whole ‘watch me get in trouble’ without consequences. How do you do it, Rem?”
“Do what?” Remi asked, feeling tired and sad.
“Ever since we were kids, you just sucked all the attention out of the room.”
Remi closed her eyes and absorbed the blow.
“I mean, I don’t begrudge you your ‘special sparkle,’ but I get why Audrey married Brick.” Kimber’s laugh was humorless.
Remi’s head was spinning at the unexpected attack. “What does one have to do with the other?”
“She took something you couldn’t have. You could charm your way into getting anything. Except Brick. Who could blame Audrey for taking something that you wanted? At least she got to feel as if she was just as good as you.”
Remi was stunned into silence.
“Haven’t you ever noticed? Standing next to you makes everyone else invisible. You know what happens when someone like you lights up the room? It makes the rest of us dimmer. And I know it’s not your fault. And I still love you because it’s impossible not to love you, though frankly, that pisses me off, too.”
“I’m going to go,” Remi said again. She wasn’t sure how many more direct hits she could absorb before she reacted.
“When we were growing up, everything in our lives organized itself around you. Your asthma. Your synesthesia. You getting grounded. There was no other option for me except to be the good one.”
“You about finished?”
Kimber let out a breath. “Yeah. I think I am.”
“Feel better?”
Kimber put down the cigarette and picked up her drink. “Yeah. I think I do. I should have a fucking meltdown more often.”
“Listen up. I never asked to be protected. I left because I was suffocating here, surrounded by people who were never going to accept that I’d grown up. Who’d never stop seeing me as the flighty screw-up who needed saving. I never asked to have fucking asthma.”
“But you also never gave managing it a second thought. Because someone was always going to be around to bring you an inhaler or carry your ass to the doctor.”
“I was a kid, Kimber. Hell, I was still a kid at twenty-five. The only thing I felt as if I had control over was my own fucking body. So I made choices. Bad ones just because no one else could make them for me. And no one noticed when I fucking grew out of it.”
“You still haven’t grown out of it! Brick had to ride to your rescue yet again.”
“Oh, fuck off. I didn’t ask him to do that.”
“Maybe not this time, but what about every other time? The man is your real-life guardian angel.”
“I DON’T NEED GUARDING!”
“YES. YOU DO! And now that you’re an adult, your decisions can hurt others.”
It was a direct hit. The one that broke through her resolve to stay calm. “I know that. And that’s my problem to deal with. You know what your problem is?”
“Gee, I can’t wait to hear this,” Kimber scoffed.
“Your problem is you. Your husband checked out on you? Who let him? Who made that an option? Who didn’t throw down an ultimatum? Either check back in or get the fuck out. It wasn’t me. Who’s fault is it that you don’t have a job to give you back a piece of your identity? Who’s fault is it that you’re unsatisfied?”
“Fuck you, Remi!”
“Fuck you right back, Kimber. You don’t get to lay the blame on me and my dumb ass for your current problems. I take full responsibility for the shit you had to deal with when we were growing up. I am aware that I sucked up all the attention, and not all of it was unintentional. I know that I’m hard to love, that I’m too fucking much. But in case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t lived here in years.”
“What in the hell is going on here?” The flashlight blinded her, and she held up a hand to block the light.
“Gee. Look who shows up to save the day,” Kimber scoffed as Brick kicked the gate shut behind him and stomped toward them in the snow.
“I didn’t call him!” Remi insisted.
“No, but your sister’s next-door neighbor did. Said it sounded as if there was some kind of fight.”
“Oh, just fucking great!” Kimber was too far past the point of no return to stop. “Now the entire island is going to know my business.”
“Why don’t you blame that on me, too,” Remi shot back. The adrenaline was making her chest feel tight. But it was the most alive she’d felt in a while.
“Remington,” Brick threatened.
“If you reach for those zip ties on your belt, I will not be held accountable for my actions,” she warned him.
“Don’t make me use them.”
“Goddamn you! How am I supposed to pretend you don’t exist if you keep showing up?” Remi demanded, shrilly. Between the cold, the yelling, and her generalized fury, she could feel her throat tightening.
“Because you always need him. You always need someone to bail you out,” Kimber shot back.
Remi’s gasp was more of a wheeze.
“You know better than to get her riled like this,” Brick snapped at Kimber. “Where’s your inhaler?”