I sigh. “I know that. I’m not mad at Riley.”
“I just wanted to make sure you understood. It’s not because she doesn’t love you. She does. But whoever made the tear that he snuck through, it’s there.”
My heart just about fucking stops. “Has she talked to you about him?”
“I’m not going to betray my daughter’s confidence, but I am going to… tiptoe around it.” She shifts uncomfortably, staring at the floor instead of looking at me.
“All right,” I say warily, watching her.
“Some part of me wishes Riley would’ve stayed in a sexless relationship with Anderson, because… well, it’s hard to see your baby grow up. In my more rational mind, I know that was never going to last. She is growing up, and part of that is discovering… love, passion—all those fun, scary things she never felt before you.” She looks up at me. “If Riley is going to get serious with somebody, I would much rather it be the guy that sends flowers and tries relentlessly to fix what he broke than the guy who corners her at parties and blows up her rival’s car.”
I knew there was something brewing between Riley and Sherlock. I could feel it. Hearing her mom acknowledge it, though… that’s on another level.
If her mom knows about it, Sherlock is a fucking threat, whether Riley wants to admit it or not.
“He didn’t blow the car up,” I mutter. “He just set it on fire.”
“I cannot possibly express how little I care about that differentiation. He committed arson on some level, and demonstrated predatory tendencies toward my daughter. He is Satan, and now I realize I am much more comfortable with the devil I know.” She gestures around the foyer. “Hence my presence here in Hell.”
I shake my head, aggravated. Looking off at the wall, I say, “So, what the fuck am I supposed to do, Michelle? Just sit by and watch her slip through my fingers? How do you come here and tell me I’m right to be worried, but I need to back off and just let it happen?”
“That is not at all what I am saying,” she tells me. “I know it may seem counterintuitive right now, but trust me, kid, I’ve been around the block a few more times than you have. I’m no love expert, but I’ve picked up some things over the years, and I do know my daughter.”
I certainly can’t argue with that.
Michelle goes on. “Riley is the kind of person who cannot stand to see people mistreated. I know, most good people don’t like to see others mistreated, but it’s different for Riley. She can’t sit idly by and watch it happen, she’s not a bystander. She has to make it her problem. She has to protect the injured party. When Valerie hurt Sara in first grade, Riley pulled Sara under her wing and became her best friend. When Riley found out your stepfather was abusing you and your mom wasn’t doing shit about it, she had to protect you, Hunter. She had to try. It’s who she is. Honestly, I’m shocked she managed to keep that secret as long as she did, but the only reason she did was out of loyalty to you. At a certain point, what being loyal to you meant… it became something different, even if you didn’t like it.”
“I know,” I tell her, looking down. “I’m not mad about all that anymore.”
“Good. But I’m bringing it up to show you examples of Riley being who she is. Examples you’ve seen for yourself, so you can see that I’m right.”
“What does this have to do with Sherlock?” I ask, even though I think I can see where she’s heading with this.
“If you go after him, Riley will protect him. She’ll have to. It’s who she is.”
My hands tighten into fists at my sides.
“It’s not because she doesn’t love you, or because she likes him more. It’s just who she is. Whatever her reasons, she sympathizes with him. I don’t know what they are; unfortunately, we can’t talk about him. The only time we really tried…” She stops, shaking her head. “I’m not good enough at faking my feelings to pretend I am not terrified of her liking him, and if she senses that, it’ll only make him more appealing. I really didn’t think I’d ever have to deal with that dynamic with Riley. We’re freakishly close, I never imagined she would want to rebel and date a guy I didn’t like, but first you, now this guy… Anyway, you don’t want to hear any of this. The point is…” She looks up, as if searching for a lost train of thought. “I have forgotten my point.”
I refresh her memory, even though I hate every fucking word more than the last. “The more I go after Sherlock, the more I’m gonna push her into his arms.”
“Yes, that,” she says, pointing at me. “And I don’t know this guy, but from the impression I have, you don’t want to give him an inch; he’ll take a mile.”
“Yep. That’s Sherlock,” I mutter.
“So, that’s my fear. That Riley won’t even realize she’s letting him in until it’s too late. If she opens the door another inch or so, he might just push his way into her heart. He already has her sympathy, she’s already on the border of feeling like we’re being unfair to him, and to tip the odds in his favor even more, the kid blew up Valerie Johnson’s car to defend Riley’s honor. Riley doesn’t hate many people, but she despises Valerie Johnson. If you hadn’t come back, I think that action alone would have had her throwing her panties at him. We’re both lucky he didn’t notice her earlier and try that while you were gone.”
Anger courses through me just thinking about him moving in on Riley while I wasn’t here. “Yeah, well… we were friends then. He knew better.”
“Well, maybe you should be again,” she advises. “Not to get all Godfather on you, but keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, right?”
I nod. “Right.”
A moment passes in silence, ushering in her exit. “So… that’s it. My two cents’ worth. I was conflicted about telling you all this. I know it can’t be pleasant to hear.”
“Nope. Sure isn’t.”
“But you said you loved her,” she says, as if to remind me. “For real. When it’s easy and when it’s hard. If that’s true… prove it.”
I look down at the ground, nodding. Times like these, I wish I had someone I could talk to like Riley has her mom. I don’t have anyone like that other than Riley, and I can’t talk to her about her.
As if she can sense it, Michelle lingers for a moment, then asks gently, “Are you okay?”
I nod without looking up. “Yeah. It’s just tough. I do love Riley, more than anything. But I need to know she loves me the same way, you know? I feel like I love her more than she loves me, and that’s fucking terrifying.”
Michelle sighs, her whole demeanor softening. She takes a step forward and reaches out to squeeze my shoulder. “Aw, hon. She loves you a lot. Believe me, I know.”
“I know she loves me, I just… I’m afraid of losing her. And this Sherlock thing… I mean, I need to know I have her loyalty, too.”
“Well… I understand that.” She lets go of my shoulder, but stays close. “Listen, Riley had a different kind of upbringing than most kids. I’m independent, perhaps to a fault, and as a result, you’ve gotta realize… Riley grew up seeing my fierce independence and thinking it was the norm. While for some girls, it might not occur to them they could be perfectly happy on their own, that’s the only way Riley knows. Until this year, she never even saw me cry over a man. Putting up with some guy’s shit? That’s foreign to her. We don’t do that. I wasn’t in many serious relationships when she was growing up, and the few I had, I ended them as soon as the guy pissed me off. I’m quick to cut my losses and move on. I’m not into commitment. The thought of marriage makes me itch, and the type of man who can change my mind about any of that… unicorns. Didn’t even think they existed until I met Ray. Ray’s my…” She stops to explain, but halts when she has to figure out what to call him.