The announcement of homecoming court ends the pep rally. Now it’s time for everyone to leave except for us. We’ll head out to the field and pose for pictures.
Riley looks relieved that this part is over, but she looks a little lost as we’re directed to make our way outside.
She’s still clutching her notebook like her life depends on it, her camera hanging uselessly at her side. She’s using the cheapest purse I bought her. I haven’t seen her use the blue one yet.
Since I’m not being nice to her, Valerie grabs Melina’s arm and they commiserate as we head out on the field.
I glance at volleyball girl—don’t know what her name is—and see she’s got her hair and makeup pretty much together. I speed up and fall into step beside her.
“Hey, can you help Riley?”
She looks over at me, surprised. “Me?”
I’m mad as hell at Riley, but I don’t want her to be embarrassed. “Yeah. Buy her a few minutes to calm down, shake that ‘deer in the headlights’ look, maybe loan her some lip gloss. The announcement caught her by surprise, she’s not ready to get in front of a camera.”
“Sure. I’ll tell Tim some of us girls need a few minutes to primp first.”
“I’d appreciate it,” I tell her.
I don’t tell her which one Riley is, but only one girl on the field looks like her name was just called to participate in the Hunger Games instead of homecoming court, so she’s pretty easy to pick out of the crowd.
I hang back and talk to Wally while the girls freshen up. I’m not paying much attention to him, but I doubt he’s saying much. I only picked him to talk to because where he’s standing, I can catch glimpses of what Riley’s doing in the background.
Volleyball girl hauls her away from Anderson, which is the first thing she does right. Then she chats her up long enough for Riley to recover her composure. Her complexion returns to normal, her eyes lose the glint of sheer terror. She even has the presence of mind to smooth down her hair, then the other girl opens her purse and offers up her lip gloss.
Riley seems to realize we’re about to get our picture taken, so she reaches into the purse I bought her and pulls out a compact. I wasn’t even sure she’d have one on her. Riley doesn’t wear much makeup. She doesn’t like to draw much attention to herself.
Meanwhile, Valerie is talking to Tim, organizing her photo shoot. “I was thinking we could do a shot over here on the bleachers. The girls can sit with our legs stretched out in front of us, one knee up—it’s a standard cheer pose, a lot of girls do it for senior pics. Those of us with poms can sit up front and place them on the bench in front of us for an added pop. Then the other girls can sit on the row behind us, and the last girl on the row behind that so we’re forming a V, and each of us can have a guy standing behind us. Obviously, my boyfriend behind me, and the other girls with the other guys. And then I guess that one random girl at the back with Sherlock.”
“Thanks,” Sherlock murmurs dryly.
Valerie rolls her eyes. “I don’t even understand how that happened. I thought Kaela was a lock for fifth. Is that girl even a senior?”
Valerie bitches a bit more, then Riley and the other girl finish up and make their way over to us.
Tim takes Riley’s camera so he can take a shot for the paper since she won’t be able to do it herself. Valerie and Angelina sit down on the front row of bleachers and get in position.
I don’t particularly want to stand with Valerie. If Anderson hadn’t just put his fucking mouth on her, I’d stand behind Riley no matter how much shit it kicked up, but right now I’m pretty pissed, so I take my spot behind Valerie.
Riley’s on the bench directly behind me complaining about this stupid pose. Anderson assures her we’re doing other poses, too, so maybe they won’t use this one.
She sighs heavily. I bet she feels dumb sitting there with her leg out like a cheerleader. “Why couldn’t we be the back couple?” she asks. “Nyla and that guy don’t have to sit like idiots.”
Valerie tenses in front of me, hearing her staging directions criticized by Riley.
I tense too, hearing Riley refer to herself and Anderson as a couple.
Just to be a dick, I slide my hands around Valerie’s small waist and lean down like I’m kissing her neck. Really, I’m just hovering and trying to ignore the perfume cloud I can practically taste getting this close to her, but Riley won’t be able to tell.
“Ready?” I ask, so I have an excuse to lean in like this.
Valerie turns her head to look up at me, her blue eyes sparkling with pleasure. “I’m always ready,” she says suggestively.
Yeah, I bet you are.
I brought it on myself, so I can’t say much about her blatant come on. I smile faintly and straighten back up.
I’m sorely tempted to look back at Riley and see what shade of pink she is, but instead I settle a hand on Valerie’s shoulder and get ready for the picture.
I expect to feel some satisfaction when that shot is done and I can finally glimpse Riley without being obvious, but when I look at her, it isn’t satisfaction I feel.
Anderson’s hand is around her waist and she’s fallen quiet, her expression solemn and pensive. I’m not sure she even notices him touching her. If she does, she doesn’t care one way or the other.
We do a few more poses and Tim takes a few more pictures, but Riley doesn’t speak again. She’s off in her own world, just going through the motions with us.
I know I’m the one who chased her off, but it’s pure hell not being able to reach her.
It’s hell hearing her telling me no, and wondering if she’s telling him yes.
I didn’t worry about that before. I knew Riley was on hold for me. For one thing, I’d made my position as clear as fucking day to all my friends before I left. It didn’t matter how many continents were between us, if one of them started sniffing around Riley, I would find out about it and they’d learn pretty fast how far I can reach when I’m pissed off.
I’ve always had that inside me, but spending those years with my dad and actually seeing where it came from, it helped me understand it better, hone it in a lot of ways.
As mad as I was at Riley for getting me sent away, I wouldn’t even have a relationship with my father if not for her.
I wouldn’t be who I am if not for her.
I’m not sure she can say the same of me.
I’m not sure Riley needs anybody.
That shouldn’t rankle so fucking much, but it does.
I want her to need me.
The last time I needed someone more than they needed me was when my mom almost let her husband kill me. That hurt like hell, and once I got past it, I vowed never to let that happen again.
The problem is, Riley didn’t come after. By the time I vowed to protect myself, she had already slipped in and made an impression. It didn’t feel like a threat at the time because I didn’t need to protect myself from Riley.
But now she’s standing here with the guy I told her to drop, the one she’s going out with after shooting me down, and now… she doesn’t feel so harmless.
Sometimes I’m impressed by it, but sometimes I can’t fucking stand her knack for saying no to me. Her unwavering ability to make up her mind and stick to her guns—even if she doesn’t really want to.