She held my hands so tightly her knuckles were visibly white, even in the darkest part of the night.
Her whole body shuddered with the memory. Her conflict and agony were so palpable, I almost gave in to the same kind of tremors.
After forcing down a pair of thorough breaths, thankful when the briny air scoured my senses back to calmness, I pulled her even tighter to my chest. It was a rare occurrence when this fierce firestorm showed any type of vulnerability—to anyone—and I wanted to give her, and this moment, the deserved recognition.
Easily, I maneuvered her in my arms so she faced me. Because she was on my lap, our noses were nearly touching. “Look right at me while I say this, Blaze. All of it.” I waited for her to focus on my eyes, getting past her normal fidgeting. Staying centered was more challenging for her than most, but I would wait. Always for her, I’d wait.
I dipped my head in, really studying her. “You with me, baby?”
She breathed in. I breathed out. Perfect synchronicity. As it always had been. As I desperately wished it always would be.
“I’m not going to leave you, okay? I won’t unless you tell me to go, and even then, I still might not do it.” I gave her a playful wink along with the grin guaranteed to make her pussy wet—every time. Though this time, arguably, it mattered the most. “I want to be with you, Rio. I thought I had made this clear to you by this point, but that’s okay.”
I lifted her hands to my lips and gently kissed the knuckles on both hands.
“Here is the part that is nonnegotiable for me, though. The part we talked about already, so it won’t come as a surprise. I want you to be happy, but I need you to be healthy.” I paused for a couple beats, really measuring my words. “Healthy and stable. I’m serious about the counseling, but I don’t want to beat it into the ground here. I’d even be happy to go with you—or you can go alone; whatever you want, I’ll support your choice. But you can’t keep starting fires, Rio. You just can’t.”
I studied her face carefully as my words settled over the quiet night. The lapping of the water against the hull of the boat was the deceptively calm soundtrack to our conversation.
“Tree,” she huffed and tried to get off my lap, but I held her closer. I had a flashback of Abbi at Kaisan’s baby shower, having to do the same thing when Rio tried to pull away. The woman was a pro at this move—but now I was a pro at recognizing it.
“Listen to me, okay?” I insisted. “I know none of this is going to be easy.”
She gave up a delicate snort. “And now he’s the king of understatement.”
“Fine. You’re going to be putting in some really hard work; I don’t doubt that at all. But I want to be by your side, and I want to help you get through this. The question is, will you let me?”
Several moments passed before Rio gave her head a little shake, and I watched quietly to see if she would tell me on her own or make me ask what idea thread she had tugged and then chased like an unraveling hem on a sweater.
I caved first. Damn it. “Hey. Where did your mind run off to just then?”
I asked it with a grin so she’d catch the playful nature of my inquiry. Still, she rubbed her forehead, her eyebrows pulled together in worry. “I was thinking about the last time I went to therapy.”
I pushed together my own brows. “How long ago was that?”
“A while.” She was clearly not going to get more specific, so I didn’t push—especially when she gave another little shake of her head and let out a miserable groan. “God, it was the worst.”
“The therapist or the sessions themselves?” When she didn’t answer yet again, just continuing to scowl and rub absently at her forehead, I tried a new tack. “What did you like the least about it?”
Suddenly, she jerked up her head as if I’d simply asked if she wanted a midnight snack. “You know what?” she said, gushing with forced brightness. “I’m calling a moratorium on this topic until we are back on California soil. Deal?” There was no waiting for my reply. “I want to make the absolute most of the time we have left out here on the open water. Alone. Talking about our fondest shrink memories isn’t my idea of fun, Tree.”
I’d give her this one. I wasn’t sure if the idea of us was something she was ready to deal with in the real world when we got back, so I needed to get my fill of her now, while I still had the chance. Since that had been my plan several hours ago—thanks again, Bas—I didn’t have to dig deep for a wholehearted grin of approval. Of course, her soft proximity and scantily clad curves didn’t hurt either.
“A moratorium, hmm?” I drawled, finding the indent of her waist with my exploring touch. “I do love it when you use those big, fancy words, Ms. Blaze.”
“My words aren’t the shit that should be big and impressive right now, Mr. Twombley.”
Well, damn. No arguing with that one either. As our mouths found each other, stoking our desires higher with teasing, tentative nips and tugs, I finally dared to murmur, “So do you want to ride me under the stars tonight, Blaze? Or do you want to go back to our ca—oh shit!”
I interrupted myself with a grateful groan from the second she reached into my bathing suit, boldly grabbing at my stiff shaft. Rio smiled softly against my lips, offering the sweet deliverance of her own aroused moan.
“Now here’s what I call big.”
I managed half a laugh before losing my voice—and probably half my mind—to a surge of hot stimulation. Scalding pressure pumped up from my balls and spurted across her fingers in anticipatory drops. “Baby, that feels so good. Yes. Squeeze me tighter. Yesss…”
Her small hand felt divine wrapped around me. After a little guidance, she gripped with the perfect amount of pressure, and I swore I saw angels dancing in the stars. But if she kept up with the wondrous torture, I’d be finished before we barely started. I allowed myself to enjoy the pleasure for another minute before surging abruptly to my feet and then glaring down at my little woman. And yes, it was definitely a glare. Capitulating to a tender regard meant I’d likely come right here in my trunks. Not acceptable. Not right now. I needed this authority. And she sure as fuck needed to give it to me.
“You still with me?” I demanded, absorbing the new shine of her perusing, adoring gaze. Thankfully, her reply was fast and eager.
“Oh yes. Very much so.”
“Good,” I stated. “Undress.”
She looked up with a lust-drunk stare, but that was it. She made no motion toward doing my bidding. Even the wind, picking up the ends of my hair, did nothing to move hers.
“Rio,” I warned. “If I count you down, you’ll be sorry, girl.”
Her playful pout disintegrated. “Grant!” she cried. “No, damn it! I’m doing it, I’m doing it. Fuck, I hate that stupid threat. I wish you’d never started that.”
“Yes, but look at how effective it is, my stubborn little mule.”
I chuckled, pinching her nipples the second she removed her bikini top. Damn, it felt good to pull that one out of my arsenal again. We were fooling around a few days prior, in a situation much like this, and she’d decided to put on her favorite feisty face. Since she was channeling her inner toddler, I happily pulled out my inner disciplinarian, complete with the countdown. I’d been secretly delighted when she actually chose to test me about the follow-through. She’d learned about orgasm edging the hard way that day—though I strongly hoped, for both our sakes, that wouldn’t be the case tonight.