"While I'm in there, could you go check on Gladys?"
"Sure."
Raine goes in to change while I go back to the alley. Gladys is sitting in her lawn chair, her eyes closed.
"Gladys?" I say quietly as I approach her.
Her eyes open. "Miles? Where's Raine?"
"She's inside changing shirts. I had some extra so I gave her one."
"And she took it?" Gladys asks, sounding surprised.
"After arguing about it, yes." I smile.
"I'm surprised. She was so upset about all of this." Gladys waves her hand toward the tent. "I didn't think she'd accept anything more."
"About that." I take the milk crate that's next to her and move it in front of her, sitting down. "Why does Raine get so angry when I give her stuff?"
Gladys reaches over and pats my hand. "Just let it be."
"What does that mean?"
"It means she'll tell you when she's ready." She sits back in her chair. "What is it you want with her, Miles?"
"I just want to get to know her."
"Why her? I know she's a beautiful girl but she's not at a good place in her life. She's struggling. She has a past."
"You mean the drugs? She told me about that."
"She did?" Gladys raises her brows. "I'm surprised she'd tell you."
"She told me last night. She told me the whole story. And she told me about her mom taking off. And her dad."
Gladys frowns and looks down at her tan, wrinkled hands resting in her lap.
"What's wrong?"
She shakes her head. "She wants what she can't have."
"Meaning what?"
"I didn't think she'd even consider it again this soon."
"Consider what? What are you talking about?"
She lifts her eyes to mine. "Raine's a sweet girl. She pretends not to be, but she is. She cares for me like family, even though we met just a few months ago."
Gladys coughs and doesn't stop. I reach for her bottle of water and hand it to her. She takes a sip, then says, "You seem like a nice young man, but I just don't think now is the time."
"The time for what?"
"She still has so much to work through. She needs to learn to trust herself again."
"Gladys, what are you saying? Are you telling me to leave Raine alone?"
She stares at me a moment, then smiles. "Actually, no. I think you might be just what Raine needs. But not in a romantic way. She needs you to be a friend. Someone she can trust."
"Of course she can trust me, but I have to admit, I do have feelings for her. As more than a friend."
"I know you do. And I know she feels the same way about you. I can tell by the way her eyes light up when she talks about you. But she won't let you in, Miles. So don't expect her to. And don't wait for her. If it were a different time, a different place, maybe you two could be what you were hoping for, but now isn't the time. And Raine knows that. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she told you that herself."
She kind of already did by telling me to go away, and turning me down whenever I ask her out.
"You're a very handsome young man," Gladys continues. "You could have most any girl you choose. So choose one of them, not my sweet Raine. She's not ready. She needs more time."
"More time for what? I don't get it."
Gladys doesn't answer, her eyes shutting as she hums to herself. I guess she's telling me she's done talking, but I need to know more.
I glance at the street to check for Raine but she's not there. She's taking longer than I thought she would. She better not have run away and ditched me. I want to keep getting to know her. I want to figure out how she got here, why she's living this way.
"I don't want some other girl," I say to Gladys. "Tell me what I can do to help Raine. To help her with whatever she's struggling with. I want to help her but she won't let me. Tell me what to do."
The humming stops and Gladys' eyes open. "Let her be."
"But what does that mean? You told me to be friends with her but now you're telling me not to?"
"Take her to dinner." She turns her head and smiles. "You look lovely, dear."
I look over and see Raine coming toward us, a big smile on her face as she points to her t-shirt. "It fits."
Gladys nods. "It's very nice."
"I borrowed it. Just for tonight."
I stand up. "It's yours. I'm not taking it back." I smile at her. The shirt fits her perfectly, clinging to her perky breasts and skimming down to her narrow waist. Her face is clean and bright like she just washed it, and her long dark hair has been brushed smooth and straight.
"Looks great on you," I say.
"Thanks." She glances down at that simple t-shirt like it's the best thing in the world. It makes me wonder how long it's been since she's had something new that was just hers. The stuff I gave her last night she gave to Gladys, so although they share it, she doesn't consider it hers. But that shirt I gave her is something just for her.
Gladys winks at Raine. "Have fun tonight."
"We're just going to dinner. We won't be out late." Raine crouches down next to Gladys. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"I'll be fine, dear." She pats her hand.
"I told Shelly to come out and check on you. She'll probably forget but if you need her, just go inside, okay?"
Gladys smiles and nods.
Raine stands up. "Okay, well, I guess we'll go."
She seems nervous, and I don't know if it's because she's worried about Gladys or worried about going out with me. I want to put my arm around her or hold her hand and tell her everything's going to be okay, but I'm afraid doing that would make her uncomfortable and that's the last thing I want. I feel like if I do or say the wrong thing she'll run off and never agree to see me again.
Part of me is wondering why I'm even doing this. Why I'm pursuing a homeless girl and former drug addict when, like Gladys said, I could easily find someone else, like that girl who works at my office. I saw her when I was leaving today and she asked if I wanted to get a drink. I told her I already had plans. She's made it clear she wants to go out with me, and I would if I'd never met Raine.
Why can't I get her out of my head? Why do I like her so much?
It doesn't make logical sense but the heart never does. It does what it wants. And it wants Raine.
10
Raine
This feels like a dream, but a very strange dream. I just had dinner with an extremely hot lawyer who's also funny and charming and who I'm very attracted to and yet I can't date him. I shouldn't even be having dinner with him. So it's really not a dream at all. It's more like a sick, cruel joke I'm playing on myself, letting myself believe I could have this, but knowing I can't.
Why am I doing this? Why am I here? Why did I agree to this?
"I had a great time," Miles says, and then he smiles, and that right there is how I got sucked into doing this. He has the kindest, sweetest, hottest smile. It melts your heart and panties all at once. It's his secret weapon and it's not fair because every time I see it, I can't resist it. He must know this because he smiles all the damn time.