Searching farther down on the page, I see Rob's name listed at an event in Houston. It's a fundraiser for high school athletes. The website lists him as attending but doesn't say anything more. The next search result has a photo of him with his arm around a high school kid in a football uniform. Under the photo is a short article that says Rob was at the high school to talk to student athletes about injuries caused by high school sports. It goes on to say Rob played football at college but had to quit following a serious injury his junior year.
Is that how he started selling drugs? He needed pain meds and got hooked up with a dealer and then started dealing himself? Why is he talking to high school kids? It seems like he wouldn't want that much exposure. Unless he's doing it to get new customers.
Shit, I bet that's it. I bet he's going to schools trying to get young athletes hooked on pain meds. It's only a theory but it makes sense. Rob could be targeting high school athletes who were injured. He offers them pain relief with his pills so they can play again. Soon they're hooked and can't get off them. More customers for Rob.
He could be doing this on college campuses too. Raine said that guy, Jacob, hung out at the mall to find his future customers. The mall is full of young people. He was targeting teens and young adults, just like Rob is doing at this high school in Houston. Raine said he traveled a lot. Maybe he was traveling to schools, connecting with athletes, in order to grow his business.
I want to ask Raine if she has more evidence that would support my theory but then she'll know I was looking him up and she'll get angry and tell me to stop.
Closing the browser window, I focus on my legal work. After two hours, I shut it down and go to bed, but can't sleep knowing Raine is alone in the alley. The coffee shop is closed now and all the employees have left. Raine is by herself in a dark deserted alley with no cellphone to call for help.
Bursting out of bed, I grab my jeans from the floor and put them on, then pull on a t-shirt and sweatshirt and run down the stairs. I grab my jacket, keys, and phone and go down to the street. It's almost midnight and even I don't feel safe walking the streets this late so I know Raine can't feel safe being by herself in that tent. There's no way she'll get any sleep when she's alone in there.
"Raine," I say, announcing myself as I approach the tent.
"Who is it?" she yells back in a deep voice like she's trying to sound like a guy. It doesn't work. She just sounds like a girl trying to imitate a guy.
"It's Miles."
"Miles?" She unzips the tent, holding a pocket knife.
"You know that wouldn't do much, right? It couldn't save you if some guy had a gun."
"Obviously, but it's all I have." She wraps a blanket around her. "Did you come here to scare me or did you just feel like visiting me in the middle of the night?"
"Just visiting." I smile and crawl in the tent, sitting beside her.
She gives me a funny look. "Seriously, what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
"So you came here to make sure I didn't sleep either?"
"Were you sleeping?"
"No."
"I didn't think so. I wouldn't be able to either. I didn't feel too safe walking down here."
"You were scared?" she asks in a teasing tone.
"Hell, yeah. Only criminals walk around this time of night."
"Or friendly night owls."
I nudge her leg. "Are you saying you weren't scared?"
"Not at all."
"So you just pretended to be a guy and pulled a knife on me for fun?"
"Yep." She looks down.
"Raine, I know you were scared. Anyone would be. It's dangerous out here. You're not close to any kind of help if you needed it and you don't have a phone."
"Are you trying to scare me even more?"
"No, but I wish you'd admit it's dangerous instead of pretending it's not."
"What good would that do? You want me to live in fear so I can't go anywhere or get any sleep?"
"I just want you to be careful. Actually, what I really want is for you to stay with me until we can find you a place to live. We could be roommates."
She gives me a sideways glance. "With one bedroom?"
"We could put a cardboard divider in the middle of the bed. Just to make sure you don't try to have sex with me in the middle of the night."
"Oh, I'M the one we have to worry about?" She laughs.
"I see how you look at me."
"And how do I look at you?"
"Like a piece of meat."
She holds back her laughter. "What kind of meat?"
"Filet mignon, of course. Only the best."
"I was thinking hamburger."
"You're such a liar." I grab her and pull her into a hug. "I'm better than hamburger and you know it."
"Let me go!" she says as she laughs. "I'm being attacked by hamburger!"
I loosen my grip on her but keep her in my arms. "Is that better?"
She takes a breath and turns to lean back against my chest. "Why are you really here, Miles?"
"Because I was worried about you."
"Why?"
"Because I care about you. But you already know that."
"But why? Why do you care so much?"
"Because..." I don't know what to say. If I tell her how I feel about her, there's a good chance she'll freak out and tell me to go away. "I just do, okay? I care about you."
"I care about you too," she says, just loud enough for me to hear.
It's in that moment that I feel like things suddenly change between us. It's the first time Raine's admitted she has feelings for me. Until now, I was never really sure. The whole time I've known her, she's tried to pretend she felt nothing for me, or she'd say things to make me think I was only imagining she had feelings for me when she really didn't.
But hearing her say that just now, and the way that she said it, like she wasn't sure she wanted me to hear it, I know it's real. That she really does feel something for me.
I pull her closer and kiss her head, and mouth the words I desperately want to tell her but can't. I love you, Raine.
23
Raine
Resting against Miles' chest as he holds me in his arms is messing with my head. I keep trying to convince myself I don't have feelings him but when we're together like this, I can't deny it. I love him. And I love how he makes me feel.
My whole life, I've felt ashamed of who I am. People looked down on me because of my loser dad, and having a mom who didn't want me made me feel worthless. I didn't do well in school. I couldn't play sports. I had friends, but not many. Most people ignored me and acted like I didn't exist. I felt like I didn't matter. Rob took advantage of that, preying on my need for attention. My need to feel special. But I never felt special with Rob.
With Miles I do. He acts like I'm the most special girl in the world. I have no idea why he sees me that way but he does. And that's why my efforts not to love him keep failing. Every time I try to shut off my feelings for him, they keep coming back.