I don't know why I felt that way seeing some stranger smile but it happened, and oddly enough, I felt it again today when he showed up here with that same smile.
"Are you coming?" he asks, still holding the door. He's giving me that smile and I really wish I was just a normal girl with a normal life because I think I could actually like this guy. His smile seems genuine and he's kind of funny. He even made me laugh. If he asked, I'd probably agree to go out with him, if my situation were different.
But it's not. My life is a mess that nobody wants to be part of, including me. I need to get it back on track before I even consider dating again.
"Um, could we just forget the deal?" I hold the sack out to him. "You can have this back."
"Nope." His smile widens. "A deal's a deal. And I still owe you a coffee. Let's go." He motions me inside.
Why is he being so insistent? We just met. And he's hot. There are plenty of other girls who'd agree to have coffee with him.
He'll lose interest in me as soon as he finds out I live on the streets. A hot young lawyer's not going to be interested in a homeless girl.
As I walk up to the register, Shelly smiles at me. "There's someone in the bathroom. You'll have to wait."
"That's fine." I strain to smile, just wanting to get this over with. I never come in here to order coffee. I only come in to use the restroom. Gladys does too. It's why we live in the alley next to the coffee shop. Most places ban people like us from using the restrooms but the managers here allow it. I don't think the owner knows. He's some rich guy that owns like ten coffee shops and almost never comes here.
"Did you decide what kind of coffee you'd like?" Shelly asks the guy. I don't even know his name, and he doesn't know mine. This is so strange. Maybe I should tell him I'm homeless and end this.
"She can go first," he says, motioning to me. "I'm still deciding." He looks up at the order board.
Shelly glances from him to me, then mouths the words 'you're with him?'.
I nod and give her a look to keep quiet about my situation. I'd rather tell him myself.
"I'll just have a coffee," I say.
"You sure?" the guy says to me. "You should get something better than that. I'm paying, remember? It was part of the deal." He smiles.
When I look back at Shelly, she's staring at him, like some dreamy teenager stares at her secret crush. The guy IS kind of dreamy, in that Prince Charming type of way with his dark hair and tall, lean body. But looks can be deceiving. I know that more than anyone. Prince Charmings don't exist. Neither do fairytales. The world is a cruel dark place full of people out to get as much as they can and not caring who they hurt to get it.
Gladys always tells me I shouldn't think that way. She says there's good people out there, like Zoe, the manager who gives us free food, or Sylvia, a lady from a local church who sometimes drops off a box of donations for us, like clothes and deodorant. But people like that are rare.
"You want to try the new pumpkin latte?" Shelly asks me. "It'd go well with the apple fritter." She points to the sack in my hand.
"Um, sure." I shoot her a grin to thank her for not telling this guy I'm homeless.
Shelly's my age and has worked here a month. She's in college and has a boyfriend, Joel, who sometimes comes in to get coffee. She only works part-time so I don't see her much and don't know her that well. I haven't figured out what she thinks of Gladys and me. She tolerates us because her manager does but I don't think she likes us. Maybe 'like' isn't the right word. She might like us if we weren't homeless, but since we are, she seems annoyed with us, like we should get a job like everyone else. She's never said that to me but I can tell by the way she looks at me when I come in to the use bathroom. Like she's uncomfortable having me there and wishes Gladys and I would move to some other street so she wouldn't have to see us anymore.
"I'll try one of those too," the guy says as he gets his wallet out.
"Two pumpkin lattes," Shelly says, smiling as she rings it up. "That'll be $8.25."
He hands her a ten. She gives him the change and he drops it in the tip jar.
Ten dollars. He just spent ten dollars on two coffees. If I had ten dollars, I could buy food that would last me for days. I'd get peanut butter and maybe some bread or crackers. Damn, that sounds good. There's a market a few blocks from here that I go to in the rare times people give me cash. The place is expensive because it caters to the rich people that live in the downtown lofts or work in the office buildings, but it's my only option for groceries.
Shelly gets our drinks and we find a table near the window. It's strange being here as a customer. I sip my latte. It's really sweet, but good. I've never had a latte. Zoe's given me a free cup of plain coffee before but I always give it to Gladys because I know how much she loves coffee.
The guy, who is sitting across from me, laughs. "I just realized I never even told you my name. It's Miles." He reaches across the table to shake my hand. "And you are?"
"Raine." I get that feeling again when he shakes my hand. That top of the roller coaster thing. It's strange. I've never felt that way just being around someone.
"Raine," he repeats, sitting back and taking a sip of his drink. "I like it. It's different. Is there a story behind it?" He smiles. "Do your parents like rainy days?"
"I don't know. My dad never explained the name. And I never asked. It has an E at the end so I always have to spell it out for people, which is annoying."
"I don't know the story behind my name either. My mom never said."
"How about your dad?"
"Never met him. He took off before I was born."
"Really?" I hear the shock in my tone. I'm not sure why I'm shocked. A lot of people have a missing parent. I guess I just thought some guy with a law degree came from a wealthy family, or at least one with two parents and maybe a sibling or two and a house in the suburbs.
"Why is that so surprising?" he asks, taking another sip of his drink.
"It's not. Sorry. Anyway, so you said you're new in town?"
"Yeah. I'm from Oklahoma. Grew up there. Went to college there. It's an okay place to live but I wanted something different so I applied all over the country and ended up getting this job."
"How do you like it?"
He shrugs. "It's fine. I'll have to work a lot of hours which I'm not looking forward to but I guess I don't really have anything else to do. Until I meet some people, I don't have much of a social life." His eyes go to mine. "Unless you'd like to change that."
"What do you mean?"
"Have coffee with me again. Assuming you find me at least somewhat interesting after tonight." He smiles. "And if you do, then maybe you could introduce me around? It can be lonely moving to a new city. I don't mind spending time by myself now and then but all the time is too much. Even I get sick of myself." He laughs and it makes me smile. I like that he can pick on himself like that. I don't like guys with big egos who can't laugh at themselves.