Now everything had changed.
He placed a ghost of a kiss on her lips when it was all over. Then the small group still remaining at the house—her parents, Nellie, Kit, Maddie and Harrison—toasted with champagne and sat through a short celebratory dinner Maddie would never remember. When it was time for them to depart, Maddie disappeared upstairs, desperate for a moment alone.
“Slow down,” Nellie called from the stairs. “My legs aren’t as long as yours.”
She hadn’t realized her friend was following, so she paused on the landing until Nellie caught up. “Was that as awful as I imagined?”
“Not for me,” Nellie said. “Kind of nice seeing someone else embroiled in a scandal for a change.”
“I have new sympathy for you.”
“Oh, don’t feel sorry for me. The whispers and snubs hardly bother me anymore.”
“I suppose I better get used to it. Hardly anyone said goodbye to me before they left today.” The chaperones had packed up the young ladies in a blink after the news broke, worried that an association with such a scandal might harm future marriage prospects.
“It’ll all blow over, I promise,” Nellie said, her voice filled with confidence.
Maddie wasn’t so certain.
When they arrived at her room, Maddie closed the door and leaned against it, sighing. “Is it too late to swim for Cuba?”
Nellie chuckled. “Yes, so cheer up. It won’t be that bad.”
“Which part? Tonight, or my marriage?”
“Both.” Nellie took in Maddie’s disbelieving expression. “I cannot help with the marriage part, but I can answer questions you have about the wedding night. Has your mother told you what to expect?”
“No, of course not. She won’t even discuss my monthly. But it doesn’t matter because I am not speaking to Harrison. I’m furious with him.”
“Maddie.” Nellie sounded disappointed. “You were in the gazebo, too. Unless he forced you, then you share the blame.”
“I know, and I am angry with myself, as well. But he pushed and pushed, then didn’t even try to protect my reputation. He said nothing and let me bear the brunt of our mistake.”
“That is because Harrison isn’t sorry.”
“Precisely what Lockwood said. Goodness, what a blasted mess.”
Nellie’s brows shot up as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you honestly wish to move to England and live in some drafty old manor house? So far away from your family and friends? And what about lawn tennis? Really, Maddie.”
“It wouldn’t have been so bad.”
“Please. In England, you would have withered and died like wisteria in winter. If you ask me, you are lucky. You’ve married a man who is head over heels in love with you.”
“After only a few days? Impossible. He told me himself this was a game and I was the prize.”
“Because he wanted you. And believe me, it’s always better if a man wants you more than you want him.”
“So I don’t get my heart broken?”
“No.” Nellie patted the empty mattress beside her. “Sit down and let Aunt Nellie tell you all about men.”
“Goodness, you are smug when you know something I don’t.”
“Because all you care about is tennis.”
“That is not true. I intended to spend my engagement gathering knowledge about what happens in the bedroom. Then I would have been prepared.”
Nellie shook her head. “This is not a campaign to be waged or an exam for which to study. I’ll tell you everything you want to know about the basics. The rest is simple biology and physical attraction.”
Maddie lowered herself to the bed. “The point is moot. We will not consummate the marriage tonight.”
Nellie looked horrified. “Why not?”
“I don’t feel ready. I hardly know this new version of Harrison. Moreover, I don’t like the way we married.”
“Maddie,” her friend said on a sigh. “Men are good for very few things in this life. Sexual congress is one of them. Don’t pass up one of the things you’ll actually enjoy in a marriage.”
“Will it hurt?”
“It shouldn’t but it might pinch if he doesn’t prepare you.”
“Prepare me?”
“Widen you. Stretch you. With his fingers.” Nellie wiggled her index and middle fingers. “Maybe you’ll get really lucky and he’ll lick between your legs.”
Maddie buried her face in her hands. “Oh, my God.”
“Is that embarrassment or revulsion?”
There was no denying Maddie was attracted to Harrison, that her body crawled with tension whenever she was in his presence. And that kiss . . . it had nearly scorched her. “Embarrassment.”
“That’s what I thought.” Nellie bumped her shoulder against Maddie’s. “You never would have kissed him if you weren’t attracted to him. I think Harrison is going to treat you well. All those skills he picked up in Paris? They must be of good use to some woman—and she might as well be you.”
“I’m still mad at him.”
“Understandable, but take your frustrations out on his body tonight. Trust me, you will feel better.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“It was a joke.” Nellie reached to grab Maddie’s hand. “As someone who has experience in this area, believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely positive. Enjoy yourself. You cannot do anything wrong. Just ask questions if you’re unsure what to do. Pretend it’s a tennis match and you have to learn everything you can about your opponent.”
Hmm, that explanation actually made sense to her. Discovering strengths and weaknesses, using them to her advantage. If Harrison thought this was a game, then she would prove a worthy opponent.
Still, she was furious with him—and herself. It had all happened so quickly, and their rashness had hurt others. Burned into her mind was the embarrassment on Lockwood’s face, the disappointment radiating from her father. Then there were her mother’s tears, accompanied by a list of everything Maddie had lost out on because of this scandal.
Harrison had upended her life, twisted her carefully laid plans, in a matter of days. How could she play the dutiful, loving wife tonight when all she wanted was to be alone? “Do I have to sleep with him?”
“No, but you should. It’s fun. Rather, it should be fun. Why do you think there are so many babies in the world?”
Maddie groaned. “Why did you have to mention babies?”
“Just have him pull out before he finishes. If he doesn’t spend inside you, then you won’t find yourself with child.”
All of this talk of babies and fingers was giving Maddie a headache. She turned the topic onto Nellie instead. “You know a lot about this business. Why have we never had this talk before?”
“I didn’t wish to corrupt you. Now, shall we get you changed?”
Chapter Sixteen
Unable to stand still, Harrison paced near the entryway. He was anxious to get this wedding night under way. Finally, noise on the landing caught his attention. Nellie came down the stairs first, a knowing smirk on her face, then his wife followed.