With her failed marriage so fresh, nothing seemed like a victory. More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “Thank you, Vallie.”
After a final pat to her back, her coach released her and departed. Not even a minute later, Nellie swept into the room, her bright smile firmly in place as she rushed to hug Maddie. “Madeline Archer, you were brilliant! I’ve never been so impressed.”
Maddie swallowed and nodded, certain the lump in her throat was all that prevented a torrent of emotion from flooding out.
Taking Maddie’s shoulders in hand, Nellie leaned away to study her face. “This isn’t like you to cry. What’s going on?”
Maddie dragged in a deep breath and struggled for composure as she stepped back. There would be time to fall apart later, when she was alone. “Just the stress of the past few days catching up with me.”
“Uh-huh,” Nellie said absently, her brow furrowed. “I noticed that your husband wasn’t here today.”
Maddie began collecting her equipment from the box she’d been assigned for the tournament. She tried to give Nellie the same lie she’d told the others but the words wouldn’t come.
“Maddie, what’s happened? Preston wouldn’t tell me, but it’s clear something is going on.” Nellie’s comforting hand landed on Maddie’s back. “Did you two have a fight?”
“We’ve decided to separate.” There, she said it.
Nellie gasped and forced Maddie to turn around. “What do you mean, separate? Like, divorce?”
Maddie glanced about, ensuring they were alone. Divorce was more scandalous than being compromised and forced into a marriage. The last thing Maddie needed was to be branded as both a jezebel and a divorcée. “No, we’ll file for an annulment.”
“I cannot believe this. What happened? And Harrison agreed?”
Maddie gave her friend a very quick version of the story, from the hat pin to the moment she walked out. “It’s for the best. We’d only make each other miserable.”
Nellie pursed her lips. “Awfully quick to arrive at such a conclusion, wouldn’t you say?”
“I cannot stay in a marriage where decisions concerning my life are made without my input.”
“You’ve been married a minute, Maddie. Goodness, give the sails a bit of time to find some wind before jumping back out into the water.”
If only it were that simple. “You don’t understand what it’s like to feel so helpless, as if your life is spinning out of control.”
“Oh, don’t I?” Nellie said, an edge to her voice. “Watching my mother wither away and die in front of my eyes doesn’t count?”
Maddie instantly deflated. “God, Nellie. Forgive me. I am being selfish.”
Nellie waved her hand. “Forgiven. And I realize a marriage is different than losing a parent. You love Harrison and you hate surprises.”
Maddie’s lip quivered so she sank her teeth into it. “Love isn’t enough. There has to be respect and trust, too.”
“You know him better than I do, obviously, but I have a hard time believing Harrison doesn’t respect or trust you. After all, he had the best of intentions in hiring the guards and not telling you.”
“Best intentions or not, that is not permission to hide something from me.”
“If you want perfection, then you’ll never find it because no one is perfect—not even you,” Nellie said with a shake of her head. “You’ll be doomed to spend your life alone because no one will ever measure up to your expectations. Is that really what you want?”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Would you rather I lied to you?”
“No, but if you are attempting to comfort me, this effort is falling short.”
Nellie winced and gave a light, self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m not known for wrapping things up in a pretty bow, which is probably why you’re one of my only friends. So I’ll stop trying to make you see reason.”
“Thank you,” Maddie said, her words laced with sarcasm.
“What happened to the masher, by the way?”
“He was arrested and I had to give a statement. Turns out he wasn’t hired by the Archers, which was a relief.”
“Meaning he’s just another entitled man who thinks women are objects and not human beings.”
The way Nellie said it, with such vehemence and resentment, gave Maddie pause. “You sound as if you have some experience in that regard.”
“Don’t we all?” Nellie muttered. “Now I should let you get changed. We can chat more on the way back to New York.”
“I was planning on taking the train with my parents.”
“Not anymore. I’m sending them back without you. We’ll stop in the hotel bar for a drink first.”
“We can’t do that!” Most hotel bars were men only, certainly the ones open during the day.
“Of course we can. Stick with me, Maddie. I know all the best places to cause trouble.”
A door slammed just before a shout rang out. “What have you done?” The words echoed in the empty Xavier house, the voice sounding a lot like Kit.
Bracing himself, Harrison called out, “Up here!”
Heavy footsteps marched closer, the only sound in the quiet space. In his bedchamber, Harrison excused his valet, the single staff member he’d allowed within these walls, and continued sorting his clothing on the bed.
“I’ve just had a visit from Preston,” Kit said, now in the doorway. “You and Maddie are separating?”
“Yes.”
“Separating?”
Harrison didn’t answer because he’d already made himself clear. Why was Kit being so obstinate?
Kit leaned against a bed pole. “Are you going to elaborate or make me pull it out of you?”
Harrison exhaled slowly. “She would like out of the marriage. I have agreed. My lawyer finished the annulment papers yesterday, I signed them, and they’ve been delivered to her home. I assume she’ll deal with them when she returns from Philadelphia.”
Scrawling his name on that piece of paper had been the single hardest thing he’d done in his life. If his lawyer hadn’t been staring at him, Harrison likely would have bawled like a baby as the ink dried.
“She’s back,” Kit said.
“Oh?” He tried not to sound interested, but he was dying to know what happened at the tournament. He’d purposely avoided reading the sporting section of the newspapers.
“Lost in the third round. I understand she gave a good fight, though.”
She must’ve been devastated. His heart, already battered and bloody, gave a small squeeze, wishing he could see her and comfort her. Tell her he loved her and that he was proud of her.
She doesn’t love you, remember? She wants freedom from you.
Realization dawned, nausea blooming in his stomach. Their marriage was over. If she had returned, then she’d likely signed the annulment papers already. They’d soon be filed with the city, and it would be like their marriage never happened.
Except in his dreams.
Every time he tried to sleep she was there, smiling and laughing with him, teasing him. He ached for her, his body in constant pain, his mind wailing with the unfairness of it. He wanted her so badly, but he’d ruined it, pushing and maneuvering until he’d driven her away.