I’m ready to take him home. To show him the nursery we’ve been working on for months. To give him love every day.
Aidan heard a heartbeat during every ultrasound, but the thought of losing our baby still hung over our heads daily.
The chance of another miscarriage was high. There could have been problems at birth.
Those burdens have fallen off me. That worry is gone. He’s here, healthy, and staring up at me with sleepy, dark eyes that resemble Maven’s.
He owns my heart already.
It’s been a rough journey, but like our road trips, we’ve seemed to make them enjoyable, memorable, crazy. Our turns and detours made us stronger, made us love deeper, made us appreciate each day.
We name him Samuel.
After my grandfather.
Willow and Maven love his name just as much as I do.
Samuel Logan Barnes.
Eight pounds and four ounces of fucking adorableness.
My son. My new sidekick. More happiness brought into a life I thought was over.
I didn’t know what I was going to get when we walked into the hospital this morning. My heart surged with fear with every step I took. Bad news had been a constant for me here. I’d experienced so many losses within these walls.
That ended today.
This place will no longer be a reminder of loss.
I lost people I loved here.
And I’ve gained someone I love just as much.
Chapter Forty-Four
Willow
I am a mother.
I whisper those words to myself again. I am a mother.
This job, this role, means more to me than any I’ve ever had.
I tried to stay positive before Samuel was born, but it was hard because the doctor telling me there was a chance I’d never be able to hold him was a constant worry.
“Jesus, someone had better give me some Tylenol to cure this baby fever,” Stella says while rocking Samuel back and forth, cooing.
Our friends and family have piled into the room, all of their attention on Samuel.
Samuel. I’ve only known him a few hours, but he already has my heart gripped in his tiny fingers.
My mom flew in a few days ago and has been staying in my apartment along with Scooby. She’s fallen in love with Dallas and Maven, and we’re already in talks of her moving here. I’ve caught the Blue Beech initiation bug.
Samuel has taken his first selfie and had his first diaper changed by me, and people rock-paper-scissored over who got to hold him first.
Hudson throws his hands up. “I’m all for making a baby. Tell me when and where, babe.” He slaps Dallas on the back. “Congrats, big brother. You might be one ugly dude, but you make some cute kids.”
Dallas laughs and punches him in the arm.
That gorgeous smile hasn’t left his face since I handed him Samuel for the first time. Stella gives Samuel back to him as the baby-holding circle starts again from the top.
Dallas cradles him and rocks from side to side. “That’s my boy.”
Maven tugs at his shirt. “And my little brother!” she announces. “I’m a big sister now!”
We’ve had to nearly pry Samuel from her arms every time she’s held him. She made a list of requests, and the top one was him sleeping in her bed. There’s some explaining to do when we get home. Samuel can’t be thrown into strollers and tossed on the floor after changing his diapers, like she does with her toy babies.
I’m exhausted by the time the room clears out, and Dallas is sitting on the edge of my bed. He gently climbs in next to me and laces our fingers together.
I close my eyes and sigh when his lips hit mine.
“We did it,” he says. “We made a healthy baby.”
I lean up for another kiss, making it last longer, and hold my hand against his cheek. “We did it.” I stretch my legs out and drum my fingers along his skin. “A year ago, this is so not where I thought I’d be.”
He chuckles. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s a hell of a lot better than where I imagined I’d be.” He situates himself to look at me better. “You saved me, Willow. You saved my daughter. And not only did you save us, but you also gave us Samuel as a bonus. I’ve been lifted from fires I never thought I’d escape because of you.” He disconnects our hands to circle his around my wrist. “And, someday, you’re going to let me put a ring on this finger.” His lips graze my ring finger.
“Oh, man, did we go backward on that one,” I tease. “First does not always come marriage.”
“We do our own thing at our own pace.”
“That we do.”
Epilogue
Willow
TWO MONTHS LATER
I stretch out in the sheets and yawn when Dallas comes walking back into the bedroom with Samuel in his arms. I watch the silhouette of him with the help of the sunrise creeping into the morning sky. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts, and I lick my lips when he climbs back into bed.
“Dirty diaper,” he explains with a grin. He pokes Samuel’s belly. “You know our little man can’t handle a dirty diaper.”
Dallas is the only man … hell, the only person I know who enjoys changing diapers.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We agreed to take turns in getting up with him at night, but that hasn’t happened. Dallas is a lighter sleeper and never wakes me up when it’s my turn. He does whatever Samuel needs and comes back to bed without uttering one complaint.
Moving in with him was the right decision. My initial worry that it’d hurt our relationship is gone. It’s only fueled more attraction and love between us.
Our bond is tighter, our love stronger.
“Daddy?”
Maven’s voice catches me off guard. She’s standing in the doorway with her blankie. Dallas or Samuel must’ve woken her up. She rubs her eyes and sluggishly stomps into the room. I scoot over and pat the space between Dallas and me, and she climbs right in. I smile when her head rests on my shoulder, and she snuggles into my body.
The cartoons come on.
We eat breakfast in bed.
This is my family.
One night changed my life.
One night gave me life.
Continue the Blue Beech series with Gage and Lauren’s story in Just Exes!
Charity Ferrell resides in Indianapolis, Indiana with her boyfriend and two dogs. She grew up riding her bicycle to her small town’s public library and reading everything she could get her hands on. She’s been known to read while waiting on stoplights to turn green. Angst is her happy place, and she loves writing about flawed people finding love. She loves the basics - books, shoes, and online shopping.
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Blurb
When Scarlet Cooper takes a new job as a nanny, she assumes she’s going to work for the rich couple who hired her. But instead of pulling up to their million-dollar estate, she finds herself on the front porch of a humble farmhouse, looking into the eyes of dark and brooding single dad, Weston Dawson.It’s bad enough that Weston doesn’t have a fortune to charm out of him, but he’s also a cop.