Mon Dieu, I’m already aching. How much more can I take? “You don’t need to worry about me. You never need to worry. There’s only your beautiful body.”
And I need to feel her against me, naked and warm, so I pull back enough to unbutton my white dress shirt and push down my slacks. My boxer briefs are left, and I consider leaving them on for her comfort. But I’d rather she know what she’s getting into.
So I strip completely, releasing my cock, heavy and dark with arousal.
Her gaze darts away, skittish now. And when she looks back at me, I have the sensation I had when her kitty looked up at me from behind the dresser. “I know I’m not who you would be with, not really, but I still want to make this good for you. If there’s something I should do, you have to tell me.”
My heart pounds. Not who I would be with?
Her hair curls wildly around her head, framing her pale face, decorating the pillow. Her lashes are the same copper color, fanning around those pretty eyes. Her eyebrows are a shade darker, two crescents I want to trace with my thumb. And then there’s her nose. Should there be any allure to a nose? It’s a utilitarian feature, not a form of seduction. But hers is small and curving up, a reminder of the innocence that brought me to her. Her lips are full and plush. I want to sink into them.
Not who I would be with?
If I wanted to be with her any more than this, I would expire on the spot.
“For that,” I say, pressing a kiss to a cluster of freckles at the corner of her eyes, “I will have to make you come so hard you cannot think. There’s no other solution to such a claim.”
Her eyes widen. “What? No, you don’t have to—”
“And when I’m licking you and drinking you down, lapping every drop with a hunger so great, you won’t be able to doubt how much I want you, how beautiful I find you.”
Her breath catches, which is better than self-doubt. I don’t want doubt anywhere near her. Only the confidence she has when she plays at the piano, all the time.
I move down her body one constellation at a time, stroking her skin, pressing a quick kiss. Laving her with my tongue. Her freckles are pale on pale, almost an optical illusion. I can only see them under certain light, so I move her body as I go, lifting her hips, touching her so that she arches up toward my mouth. When I’m at the top of her sex, she presses her legs together.
I’m so starved for her. Can’t she see that? But no, she’s busy thinking of how she looks. Wondering if I like the bronze hair or the porcelain skin. It seems impossible that she doesn’t know.
It almost seems impossible that she’s real.
“Let me taste you, sweet Bea. I won’t force you, but I want you bad enough that it hurts me inside. I’m imagining how you taste, how you’ll feel on my tongue. The way you’ll clench when you come. And it’s a physical pain.” I put a hand to my breastbone so she’ll know where. There are barbs. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Let me in.”
Her eyes close briefly, as if in prayer. “How do you do this?”
“What?”
“How do you make me believe it?”
I want to say more, but then she opens her legs for me, and the sight is enough to render me speechless. The pain becomes a driving spear inside me, until I bend down and lick her deep at her core. She gasps a sound of shock and pleasure, so I do it again.
“You taste like sweetness and sex, Bea.” I don’t have the willpower to lift my mouth from her completely, so my words come out muffled, but I think she understands. Her hips press up, asking for more, and I run my tongue along the ridge of her sex. “My cock is as hard as it’s ever been. I’m pressing it into the sheets for relief, but it doesn’t help.”
A soft moan. “Hugo.”
I kiss an open-mouthed trail up to her clit. “And right here, this sweet bud. I’ve been dreaming about it and look at you. Even your sex is shy, hiding from me. Uncertain.”
It needs to be reassured, like the woman beneath me, so I press my tongue flat against her bud. Her whole body goes tense and quivering, and I have to hold her down at her hips. She only has enough room to nudge her body up, up, up. I wait for her to realize this, to try it out, to feel the mind-melting pleasure of it. I’m not licking her at this moment; I’m letting her fuck my tongue.
“You’re so beautiful,” she murmurs.
I realize I’ve closed my eyes, the taste of her so incredible I want to memorize it. Because this won’t last forever. How can it? She will move on to a man equal of her, and I will be left with a hollow loft and a cold madam. There’s only now.
The corner of my lip kicks up. “Beautiful?”
She laughs a little. “Are you offended? But you are. You’re handsome, too. And strong. I mean you have an actual six-pack. I thought those weren’t even real.”
The six-pack in question flexes against the mattress, as if showing off for her. Working out is something of a requirement for this profession. It’s also a pleasant way to pass the time, but now it seems imperative, as if I’ve been lifting and running and swimming all these years for this.
“But you’re beautiful, too,” she says, soft and hurting.
I press one final kiss to her clit and am rewarded with a whimper. Then I climb up her body, my cock leaking a line of precum along the sheets. “I wish to be beautiful for you, if that’s what you want. And handsome. And strong.”
When I’m close enough, she traces two fingers over my lips which are still damp from her arousal. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, like maybe she’s trying to memorize me too.
“Will you have sex with me now?” she asks, and I can’t tell from her tone what answer she wants.
Somehow I find the condom in my wallet and tear the foil open, slipping the latex over my cock. “I think I’ll die if I don’t.”
That makes her smile. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted like this.”
Those are the last words I hear before I notch my cock against her pussy and slide home. The pride wars with pleasure, a galaxy implosion in my chest. Her private walls stretch to accommodate me, but not far enough. It feels like a vise around my cock, and I shudder against the sensations.
Bea gasps and strains at the intrusion, her hands pushing weakly against my shoulders. Her hair in disarray, her face flushed. She’s like wildflowers in full bloom across the valley. It makes me feel like the sun, beaming down on her, making her turn toward me.
“Too much,” I say between gritted teeth.
It’s not a question because I know I gave her too much and too fast. Her body trembles underneath me, struggling, maybe even in pain. I can’t hurt her. Mon Dieu, I need to pull out.
Except that would be torture.
I drop my forehead to the pillow beside her, my body outside my control, my cock still hard and throbbing inside her. It’s all I can do not to thrust again and again. “Forgive me.”
She makes little panting noises. “I didn’t know—”
“Didn’t know what?” I ask, my jaw clenched hard, eyes shut tight. It’s a terrible knot, our bodies together. Too tight for me to pull away. Pulled hard enough to hurt her.
“That it could actually be too big.” A strange riff that might be laughter. Or maybe tears. “I thought it would always work. I mean it looked big, but what do I know?”