While my pencil sketches the design, I imagine where I’d ink her if the choice was mine. Her right ribcage would hurt more than somewhere else, but as I curved it around and under her breast, it would be beautiful. Even if I’m only going off of the few times I’ve seen her wear a bikini when she and Sierra sunbathed on the roof.
As soon as that thought comes to mind, I reprimand myself for thinking about that part of her body. I need to get a grip on my feelings for her. The attraction remained in that box I kept under double locks until Jax arrived. The more he flirts with her, the more a King Kong version of me wants to kidnap her.
What bothers me is that I have no idea if this is Jax’s way of reliving the past or if he truly likes her. If he does, he’s more man than me to pursue her without any guilt that she’s too perfect for him to mess up.
But that’s Jax—he does now and thinks later. It’s the greatest difference between us. Where I get lost in my head, he acts without thinking, hurting innocent people.
I can’t protect Rian, but if I want her, I’d better be able to suffer the consequences.
The next morning, I’m sure that Rian won’t be up. It’s Sunday, and the only dumbass who will work out with me is the other single guy in our friend group, Seth. So when I come face to face with Rian as she opens the bathroom door, I’m surprised.
She doesn’t see me at first, probably still half asleep. Her matching T-shirt and shorts pajama set clings to her figure. Her hair is thrown up in a messy ponytail and a chunk of strands have fallen out of it. There’s even a dry line from drool off her mouth. She’s adorable.
“Dylan!” She startles, her hands releasing her ponytail holder, allowing her hair to cascade down her shoulders.
“Go back to bed. I’m heading to the gym.” I walk by her and grab my water from the fridge.
“So early? Take a day off.” Her voice is still rough from sleep.
I say nothing, but she’s waiting by her door as I shove the water into my bag. Her gaze follows me, but as soon as I look her in the eye, she stares at the floor.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Um…”
We stand across the room from one another, me waiting for her to say what she needs to. “Is something wrong?”
She shakes her head. “I just wanted to let you know—I mean, it’s not a huge deal. But with this roommate situation, you need to be in the loop. You probably don’t even care—”
“Spit it out,” I say.
Her eyes fix on mine. “Jax asked me out on a date. We’re supposed to go tonight.”
My stomach drops. He’s made the first move. I’m surprised, but I’m not. This is how Jax works.
I smack on the fakest smile I can at this time in the morning. “Cool. Have fun.”
Her hands twist in front of her. “You’re okay with it?”
“Does it matter?”
She’s quiet but observant. Her deep inhales suggest she’s not sure how she should act right now.
“It’s great. Have a great time. Seth’s waiting for me.” I thumb at the door and hightail it out of there before I climb over all the furniture to smash my own lips to hers and beg her not to go out with him. The problem with that move is, what the hell do I back it up with? Wait for me? Wait for what? For me to get my head out of my ass?
I rush out the door to find Seth sitting on the floor outside his door, waiting for me. His gray hoodie is over his head and his phone is in his hands. I glance at the screen to see an Instagram post of a curly dark-haired girl holding a tray of bagels.
“Good morning,” I announce myself.
He looks up, quickly turning off his screen. “This is ridiculous. It’s Sunday.” He pushes up off the floor. “I was up half the night listening to Knox fuck like a damn porn star.”
I laugh because back in high school, Knox earned the nickname Ron Jeremy. He’s a cop now, but back then, indecent exposure wasn’t something he had an issue with. He’d screw a girl on the park bench if she let him. Then again, back then he was going through as much shit as the rest of us.
“Well, get ready for a good workout. Rian just told me Jax asked her out.” I step into the elevator.
Seth stands idly in the hallway, his jaw hanging open. I grab his sweatshirt strings and drag him into the elevator.
“That’s low.”
I press the ground floor button. “Is it really? I mean, she’s not seeing anyone.”
“Yeah, but anyone who’s around you guys knows…”
His words drift off because this isn’t something we’ve ever talked about. I flirt with Rian, and yeah, I’ve felt that maybe she might like me. But I’ve kept my feelings close to my chest because anyone can predict the outcome of the two of us in a relationship.
We head out of the apartment building and down the street toward the gym.
“I think it’s time you’re truthful with her,” Seth says, repositioning his bag over his shoulder.
I want to ask him if he’s ready to admit why he’s following Evan Erickson or the Bagel Place on Instagram if he hates her that much. “I’m not into losing friendships at the moment.”
We walk into the gym. A guy who’s roughly our age takes our cards and says good morning. We return his greeting and make our way to the locker room.
“You’d rather risk the chance that she and Jax start dating? What are you gonna do? Watch them make out during Blue Bloods?” He strips off his track pants and sweatshirt, shoving them into the locker.
I shrug. “I’ll move back in with you and Knox.” Easiest solution ever.
“Sorry, man, Leilani is paying your rent now. I guess she needed a place and Knox offered her your old room.”
I lock my locker, grab my towel and water, and follow Seth to the treadmills. “Why didn’t I know this?”
He shrugs, positioning all his shit exactly where he wants it. He pins his key to his shorts. “Because it didn’t matter. Not like you consulted us when you moved out to protect Rian from Jax. The same guy you’re laying down on the pavement so he can turn you into roadkill.”
I up my speed and incline. Screw warming up.
Seth’s not like Ethan though, so he doesn’t compete with me. The fucker takes a leisurely Sunday stroll on his machine.
“I have no right to stop her.” I’m talking more to myself than Seth.
He waves to the girl who’s always folding towels. “You do have a right. You’re her friend. You have her best interests in mind. It’s piss or get off the pot time.”
I shake my head, starting to sweat. I can’t admit that I’m being a pussy here. She’s the only one of my friends that I’ve told about Winnie and my upbringing. There’s a reason for that. Somehow, I know I can trust her with the information, and I know it’ll never be slung back at me. To put a relationship like that in jeopardy for a few orgasms seems moronic.
“Let’s talk about something else. How about the Bagel Place?”
Seth rolls his eyes, slowly walking as he waves to everyone as though he’s running for office or something. “Don’t turn this on me. You’re the one with the girl problems. Which is funny when you think about it. When we first moved in together, I idolized you and all the women you got. Now you’re wound up tight over one. I’m enjoying sitting on the sidelines.” He waves and says hello to Joe, an elderly man who’s here on the bicycle every morning.