My shoulders fall at the sound of Dylan’s voice. “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
My eyes lock on the doorknob as it turns, and the door pushes open. And there he is, his cleanly shaven face making him look more innocent and youthful than normal.
He shuts the door and stands with his back pressed to it.
“I’m sor—” I say, but he holds up his hand.
“I’m the sorry one. I never should’ve left when your parents showed up.”
I shake my head. I’m used to it. My house was never the hang-out house. I quit asking for birthday parties when I was nine years old and my parents made the girls do a hundred question multiplication sheet. Whoever completed it the fastest and most accurately won the prize—an abacus. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Do you want to talk about what happened with them?” He pushes off the door, and I suck in a breath the closer he moves. Before I can soak in everything that’s happening, he’s at the edge of my bed.
“Nah. Same old.”
He eyes my book and picks up the pencil from the floor, handing it to me. “I’m jealous of Jax.”
“Why?” It’s a stupid question. The kiss sealed the fact that whatever is lying dormant under our friendship isn’t just on my end. But maybe because I’ve waited so long, I want to hear the words from him. How badly does he want me?
He stares at me for a moment. It’s all there in his gorgeous light brown eyes. “Do I have a reason to be jealous?”
The silence is deafening, the tension wound tight. “No.”
His eyes close for a second and his chest rises and falls. Leaning forward, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Good.”
It’s clear that he wants to kiss me again, and after the wall incident, I know that one kiss is going to end with both of us naked in this bed, my math book forgotten. Part of me wants to tell my conscience to allow that to happen, but what if he only wants me because Jax made him jealous?
My hand presses on his chest.
His eyebrows raise in question, but Dylan’s a good guy, so he backs up and my hand falls to the mattress between us. “Are you sure I shouldn’t be jealous?”
“This has nothing to do with Jax, but are you sure whatever competition you have with him isn’t the reason you want to be with me? Can you honestly say we would be here if Jax had never showed up?”
“We’ve always been friends who wanted more.”
I shake my head. “You were content dating other women. Having sex with other women. Why now?”
He looks as if I slapped him, but we can’t live in a bubble and not face the truth. Something bad will happen and that bubble will pop. “Jax made me realize that I could lose you.”
I nod. “Because you guys compete over everything. This would be your way of winning.”
He shakes his head. “No. That’s not it at all.”
I stand, unable to be so close to him while I put on hold something I’ve wanted for years. “Put yourself in my shoes.”
His head falls and he stares at the floor. Slowly, he nods.
“Believe me, Dylan, I want nothing more than to strip down and beg you to take me right now. To fall under the covers with you and do all the things I’ve masturbated to for years, but I can’t do that with the prospect of heartbreak once you win me.”
He nods again. “I get what you’re saying, but I’m telling you that’s not it. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t good enough for you.”
He stands and I step back, which stops him from approaching. My forehead wrinkles. “Why?”
“Come on, Rian. Why do you think your parents have a problem with me? They see it. I bring you down.”
I don’t care what my parents think, and I’ve never thought that about Dylan. “That’s not true.”
When I don’t move, he welcomes that as his opportunity to continue toward me. “But I don’t care anymore. I mean, I do, but I’m not going to lose this opportunity. I was so hung up on the what-ifs, I never thought about three or five years in the future—the what-ifs I’d feel then. The regrets I’d live with if I never tried to see if we can work this out.” He cages me against my dresser, our chests pressed together and his hands on my hips as though he’s afraid I’m going to run. “I’m scared of losing your friendship or messing up our friends’ circle, but I’ll take the chance because the other alternative is too painful to bear.”
I’ve loved him from afar for so long, I never took into consideration the impact on our group of friends. What happened to Ethan and Sierra could happen to us. But I decide right then, “I’d never let that happen—unless one of us did something stupid.” Like cheat.
“I can’t say I’m going to be the best boyfriend at first. There’s a learning curve.” I tilt my head, and he chuckles. “I’d never fuck it up by cheating. I meant other things.”
I stare at him and he steps closer, his chest pushing against mine. When I woke up this morning, I never thought we’d end up here. “Why don’t you take a shower? Think it over some more.”
He chuckles. “I have a better idea. Why don’t we take a bath?” His hand slides down and he links his fingers with mine. “We can talk this over while naked and wet.” He winks and my heart somersaults.
Who am I kidding? I want this as much as he does, and I don’t want regrets in a few years either. All I can do is trust him when he says that this isn’t because of Jax and their competitive nature.
“That’s tempting,” I say. “One condition.”
“What?” He squeezes my hand, stepping back toward the door.
“You tell me about Naomi.”
His face falls, but he nods, tugging me forward so I fall into his chest. He wraps his good arm around me, stares into my eyes, and bends down for a kiss.
Just as it did hours earlier, my heartbeat skyrockets the minute his soft lips land on mine.
But he ends the kiss too quickly. “Let’s get me clean so I can show you exactly how dirty I can get.”
I bite my lip, and he chuckles.
“I guess it’s time for me to see what I’m getting, huh?” I unzip his sweatshirt and help him pull it off his arm. My hands run along his bare chest, over all his ink. He groans as my fingers hook on either side of his track pants, pushing them down his legs until they pool at his feet. “My boyfriend doesn’t wear underwear?”
“Not since the accident. Too fucking hard to put on.”
He stands there and allows my gaze to drift over his body. He’s not embarrassed or self-conscious, nor should he be. He’s lean, muscled perfection and it makes my mouth water. His hard dick is pointed north. Nice for me. I step closer, taking his dick in my palm and rubbing.
“Whoa.” His hand covers mine. “Don’t I get to see my girlfriend?”
I smile and bite the corner of my mouth, sliding my tongue over my bottom lip.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I can’t wait to see you.”
He knows me so well. Of course I’m embarrassed. The heat in my cheeks says I’m wearing that emotion like a flashing stop sign. I step back, taking the hem of my T-shirt and pulling it up over my body.