Dylan’s chair slides back along the concrete and he stands.
“Whoa.” Jax holds out his hand at Dylan as he makes his way over to me.
“Fuck off, Owens.” Dylan takes my hands in his.
They’re so warm and welcoming, tears slip from my eyes.
“Rian?” Dylan says in an authoritative voice I’ve never heard him use with me before.
I swipe my eyes. “It’s nothing. I just want to know you’re with me for more than a place to put your dick.”
He draws back as though I slapped him. “I think you know you’re more than that.”
“But yet you wouldn’t do long distance.”
“I think this has gotten way too serious. We’re all talking hypothetical. This wine is delicious,” Blanca says, trying to save the evening.
“Beer’s good too,” Seth says.
Knox is staring at us as though he knows something, but he couldn’t. Maybe he just sees the demise of a relationship similar to what he went through.
“Let’s go downstairs.” Dylan takes my hand.
I didn’t want this fun night to end like this. When I don’t move, Dylan turns back around, his eyes pleading for me to tell him what’s going on.
I know Dylan. Sometimes I think I know him better than he does himself. The minute I tell him, he’ll shut down. The Dylan I’ve fallen in love with these past months could disappear forever.
He says my name again like a plea.
“I got offered a job with NASA,” I say.
And just like I predicted, Dylan drops my hand. “And where’s it at?”
You could hear a pin drop on the roof.
“Houston.”
Darkness covers his eyes for a moment, then a smile plasters his face. Not the genuine smile I’ve been blessed to see every day for months. It’s the one he gives customers who annoy the fuck out of him. “You should take it. NASA? Wow, that’s amazing.”
His arms wrap around me and he pulls me toward him in a hug that holds no emotion. His hands don’t linger under the hems of my clothes, and he doesn’t kiss my neck or forehead. The hug is not a boyfriend hug; it’s a goodbye hug.
Chapter Thirty
Dylan
Rian has no idea how much I’m struggling not to leave this rooftop right now. My pretending that I want her to go because it’s such an amazing opportunity isn’t a front. I do want her to go. She’s magnificent and she deserves the absolute best in life.
But as she sits on my lap and the breeze wafts her perfume to my nostrils, I want to stop the pain slicing me inside. The only way to do that is get drunk or get the hell out of here and away from her—the reminder of what I’m about to lose.
We finish the dinner that her news did ruin because I’m sour and she’s concerned. The others continued bullshit lines of conversation just to fill in the awkward silence.
“Let’s go.” I nudge her off my lap and take her hand, walking her to the roof door. I need to know where her head is at. I don’t stop until we’re in our apartment and I flick the lock to give us at least a warning before someone barrels in here.
When I turn from the door, she’s in the chair by the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest. “I didn’t anticipate this.”
I sit on the couch, my arms missing her in them. “You got the call today?”
She nods. “I’m just as surprised as you. I was going to wait to tell you until we were alone, but then all that conversation about a long distance relationship came up and I kind of lost it.”
I pace the room, unable to sit still because my mind begs me to grab the keys to my bike and get the hell out of here.
“Are you taking it?” The fact that it takes her longer than a second to speak gives me my answer. I hold up my hand. “You are? So it’s just a will I or won’t I agree to a long distance relationship? Or do you not even want one?”
“I haven’t decided anything yet. He’s sending me information. He’s flying me down to see what the job entails.”
“It sounds to me like you’re taking it.”
She sits up straighter. “Where do you get that idea?”
“Because it’s fucking NASA. Who turns down fucking NASA?” My voice grows louder, and I clench my fists at my sides.
“Who said I want NASA? I never did.”
I roll my eyes and stare at her long and hard. Her eyes puddle with tears and my anger shatters. I fall to my knees at her feet, my hands gripping her hips.
“You act like I accepted the job,” she says, her voice hiccupping. “Do you really think I want to leave you?”
If she heard my answer, she’d be mad. But doesn’t this go along with everything else in my life thus far? Somehow, I’m always the one in the rearview mirror.
I raise my head. “You have to take it. It’s a huge opportunity and I won’t let you turn it down.”
I’ve never spoken more truth. I’d die a million deaths for her happiness. That’s how strongly I feel for her.
She runs her hands through my hair. “I’m not sure it’s the opportunity I want.”
“You have to consider it. You have to go down there and see what they’re offering. You have to.”
I lift her shirt, kissing her stomach. The tattoo makes me want to grip her harder. I want to beg her not to go, to stay here with me, but I can’t do that. She deserves to be the shooting star.
“Can we please just talk about it later?” She slides down, straddling me on the floor.
Our limbs are as tight as vines around one another, our lips seeking the other’s in short kisses as though we’re testing if this is where we want this conversation to go. My hands slide up her back and lift off her T-shirt, my mouth exploring her lips, jaw, neck. I unhook her bra and she lets the straps slide down her arms. I toss it to the side.
She bends back, and I run my hand down the middle of her breasts, flicking open the button of her jeans. When I slide my hand under the hem of her panties, she moans and rises on her knees, her lips landing on mine. Our tongues tangle with desperate urgency, as though time is short. And it might be for the future, but not right here and now. I’m going to cherish her body.
I push my finger into her. For a moment, she stops kissing me, pulling back to enjoy the pleasure. Each time her gaze falls to me, my heart turns over.
“Dylan,” she whispers.
A shot of electricity zings through me as she says my name like a plea. As though all her pleasure is in my hands and I’m the only one who can push her over the cliff of an orgasm.
Running my finger through her folds, I make small circles along her clit and I manage to ease her body down on the rug. With my other hand, my fingertips skim across her bottom lip. I’m unable to stop staring at her.
An animalistic lack of control comes over me and I need her now. I’m desperate to be buried deep inside her. I fall back on my ankles, bringing her jeans and panties off in one swoop.
Her hands run up my T-shirt. “I need to feel your body.”
“Your tattoo.”
She gazes down and smiles, climbing up on her knees to help me undress.
As soon as I’m naked, I sit with my back to the couch and she straddles me, sinking down on my length. Her warmth fills me from inside out. How can I live my life without this? I push out all feelings of impending doom and my hand slides to the back of her head, holding her in place as I kiss up her neck to her jaw. I capture her mouth with mine, sliding in my tongue.