But Lauren’s steely demeanor has shifted to something tinged with regret. “I’m so fucking sorry.” She winces and flicks a gaze at Soph. “For cursing in front of your kid, but also that these things happen on a show like this.”
Gabe frowns behind the camera. “I thought you called to warn them—”
“We did.” Lana steps in front of the lens, blocking the shot of Soph as she stares down Gabe. “No.” She folds her arms over her chest. “I don’t care that this is how the show works. We’re not using this footage.”
Gabe shoots me a sympathetic look. “That’s fine, but documenting it is part of the social experiment. Mari’s idea for—”
“What’s Mari’s idea?”
Her voice behind me makes me turn. I watch in slow motion as she registers the cameras, her siblings, the guilty looks on their faces. Then her gaze drops and she sucks in a breath. “Oh, Jesus.”
My ex-wife is on her knees still, arms wrapped around Soph. Elle, I need to think of her as Elle and not my goddamn ex.
Her shoulders quiver as she leans back to take in our sweet girl’s face. “You’re growing so fast,” Elle sniffles. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Mommy?” Soph’s brow furrows. “You’re really here.”
“I’m here, baby. I can’t believe it’s been so long.” Elle dabs her eyes with a white hankie, her makeup remarkably un-smudged. “You’re so beautiful.” She dabs her eyes again, oblivious to the chaos around her.
Or maybe not so oblivious because she looks up and meets my eye. A slow, calculating smile spreads over her face. “Griffin. You’ve kept her safe for me.”
My hands clench at my sides. “I kept her safe for her,” I growl. “Because I’m a parent. That’s what parents do.”
Anger snaps inside me, fierce and hot. I don’t know where to direct my fury. At Elle for showing up here like this? At the Judsons for exploiting it?
At myself for signing on to do this goddamn show in the first place.
I turn to Mari and see she’s white as a ghost. Her eyes shift from Lana’s to Lauren’s. Something passes between them. A silent message I can’t understand, but all three women hear it.
Lauren moves first, stepping beside Lana and facing the camera. “Turn it off, Gabe.”
He sighs. “We can agree not to use it, but it’s important to document—”
“Fuck!” Lana blurts the word, then winces in Soph’s direction. “Poo on a stick! Son of a monkey! Shitake mushrooms!”
It dawns on me she’s trying to make the footage unusable, but something’s off here. Not my ex-wife at my feet, but the look of terror on Mari’s face. She’s staring down at Elle like my ex-wife is a swamp creature who’s crawled up from the sewer. Like she’s the last person in the world she hoped to see on the front porch.
Elle’s knack for knowing eyes are on her kicks in because she swings her gaze to Mari. Another slow smile spreads over her face, this one darker than the last. “Hello, Dr. Judson,” she says. “I’d like to talk about those forms.”
“Forms?” I look at Mari, struggling to understand. “What forms?”
Mari stares back, and something registers deep in my chest. The look on her face that I swear I’ve seen before. Remorse. For what?
I sound like a broken record, but I ask again. “What’s happening here?”
Mari’s throat moves as she swallows. Her mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
Not from her.
But my ex-wife jumps to fill the silence. “She can’t say anything, sweetheart.” Elle gets to her feet, catching Soph’s hand in hers. I assume the endearment is meant for our daughter, but she’s looking right at me.
“She’s my therapist, Griffin.” Elle glances at the camera, and I’m not sure if they’re still filming. I’m not sure of anything anymore.
Elle turns back to me, squaring her shoulders. “Congratulations, dear. You’re dating my shrink.”
There’s a roaring in my ears that might be an oncoming train. I don’t realize I’m squeezing Soph’s shoulder until I hear her squeak. “Daddy.”
“I’m sorry.”
Mari says the words the same time I do. I drop my hand from Soph’s shoulder and look into Mari’s eyes. “Is this true?”
She closes her mouth and darts a glance at Elle.
My ex-wife laughs and reaches into her shoulder bag. “The look on your face.” She fishes out a sheaf of papers and holds them out. “Here.” She thrusts them at Mari, who stands frozen like a statue.
She doesn’t reach for the papers. Just looks me in the eye as the world tilts under my feet.
“I’m so sorry,” Mari whispers, then turns to face the camera.
Chapter 13
CONFESSIONAL 732.5
Judson, Marilyn, PsyD (Psychologist: Juniper Ridge)
Sometimes you make the wrong decision for the right reasons. Or the right decision for the wrong reasons. Or a decision that’s horrible, utterly impossible. The kind that rips your guts out, and all you can do is make the best, most-informed choice possible for you to—what?
[rolls eyes]
Yes, Gabe. That’s exactly what we’re talking about. Boxers versus briefs.
God, you’re a child.
I stare down Gabe the way I did when he was ten and would tease the toddler versions of Coop and Lana until they howled. “Stop.”
He nods once and flips something on the camera without a word.
There are more important things than the show or the social experiment or the documentation of research-worthy moments.
One of them is standing next to me, vibrating with rage. I need to face that. I need to face the consequences of my choices.
But first things first.
I reach out and take the consent forms from Elle. Her verbal declaration in front of Griffin was adequate from a legal standpoint, but I’m not taking chances. I scan the words, noting her signature at the bottom and checkmarks in all the right spots.
I authorize Marilyn Judson, PsyD, to disclose my protected health information....
Lowering the paperwork, I turn to Griff. “Would it be okay if Soph and her mother go grab a cupcake at the café? Just ten minutes. There are some personal issues I’d like to discuss.”
He hesitates. I can see him wrestling with a dozen internal conflicts. To forbid his daughter to leave his sight with his errant ex-wife? To tell every member of the Judson family to go to hell? To walk off the show and never come back?
I wouldn’t blame him for any of it.
I dart a look at Lauren. If ever there were a moment to wish my sister could read minds, this would be it.
Lauren gives a tight nod. “Lana will go with them to get the cupcake. For liability purposes. Show policy.”
There’s no such policy, and Griff knows it. At least, I think he does. I hope he hears what my family is offering. They’re backing off. They’re protecting his child. They’re doing all the things so rare in Hollywood, and at the core of why my family left LA en masse.
Soph’s voice splits the tension. “Are you mad, Daddy?”