“Can’t blame ’em.” Carlotta shrugs as she dutifully continues to lose Burt’s money for him. “There’s something to be said for getting three hots and a cot.”
“What’s that?” Burt looks offended by the unwarranted diatribe. If that bugs him, wait until he learns about the diaper.
Carlotta sags. “It looks as if Mr. Sexy might be otherwise detained and miss the taping this Friday. He’s got the slammer on his mind and his body might be soon to follow.”
“He’s not going to prison,” I tell them rather sternly.
Cluck Norris chirps, “Oh dear, Lottie. I denied the fact Mr. Cottonwood was going to turn me into dinner. And well, let’s just say when he picked me up and said it’s time to eat, it wasn’t my stomach he was looking to fill.”
“I’m sorry to hear it, Lottie.” Burt looks genuinely distressed for Everett before his features brighten. “As soon as you find out which prison he’s headed to, give me a heads-up and I’ll send a film crew out that way. Our ratings will go through the roof with that one. We’ll need a lift like that. That will be our first episode without Candace, God rest her soul. And that blonde I hired has no TV experience. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I know what he was thinking,” Cluck Norris says. “I’ve let more than one hen into my coop when I shouldn’t have.”
I nod his way because he’s right about Burt. Cormack used the casting couch to land herself on the talk-show couch.
“I bet you miss Candace like crazy,” I say. “She was the life breath of that show.”
“She sure was a powerhouse of a woman,” he agrees.
Carlotta grunts, “She was a turkey who deserved to get her head chopped off a long time ago.” She holds out a hand to Burt, and surprisingly he fills it right back up with quarters. “I didn’t kill her, though. But if we don’t track down who did, I might just be doing time alongside Mr. Sexy. Can you imagine that? Two innocent people in the prison population? If that’s how the justice system is going to treat us, I say we do away with it.”
Everett isn’t innocent. Carlotta isn’t either, but she didn’t bash that woman’s head in.
I hope.
Burt howls out a laugh. “Candace was as divisive as can be. You either loved her or hated her. And I can list on one hand how many people loved her and still have fingers left over.”
“That bad, huh?” I wince at the thought of nobody loving the woman.
“I loved her!” Cluck Norris riots as he flaps his wings.
“Ouch.” Burt’s shoulders hike up a notch. “Darn dry scalp feels as if it’s being clawed at by chicken feet.”
“Rooster,” Cluck Norris corrects. “But I’ve been called worse.”
Burt nods my way. “It was bad, indeed. I’m not that surprised we found her the way we did. I was just on my way to tell her to speed things up, and that’s when I bumped into you.”
Huh. That was unprovoked.
Anytime a suspect begins to craft an alibi, no matter how meager, it sends up a red flag.
“Well, I’m glad you were there,” I tell him. “That was a terrible sight.”
“You’re telling me,” Carlotta quips. “I was the one holding the murder weapon—still innocent if you’re keeping score.” She elbows him in the ribs. “So who did it? I bet it was that sleazy director, the one that takes pleasure in stuffing old women up with chili peppers and then sending them on their way.”
Burt laughs. “I’d steer clear of anything that man offers you. He’s out to make a buck any way he can. I know for a fact he tried to get Candace to fund one of those spectacles he’s been working on for the Documentary Channel. But Candace was no fool. She smelled the desperation on him and gave him the heave-ho about three weeks ago.”
“She did? Funny, Woody didn’t mention anything about that.” Oops! I meant to say that last part to myself, but with my lack of sleep and my brain already worrying over Everett’s verdict, I guess I let it slip. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again. But then, if Cluck Norris knew, he’d probably cheer on my newfound free-range mind.
“Why would he mention it?” Burt huffs. “That man has an ego so big it nearly takes the roof off the studio each time he walks in it. He was groveling with her, though. Especially that last day. I caught him in her office practically begging her to take him back. Candace and I had been spending a lot of time together those last few weeks trying to figure out a way to oust him as the director. We had a lot of legal hoops to jump through, but we thought we could do it.”
“So that’s what you were doing with her?” My fingers tap my mouth. Again with the errant thoughts escaping my lips? This has got to stop. I’m meeting with Jimmy and Luke in less than five minutes. I might get all of Honey Hollow killed if I keep this up.
“You must have seen the two of us in my office that day.” He nods as he feeds the machine before him. “Yup. We were plotting right up until the end. Had my attorney on the phone and everything.”
“Buck-buck”—Cluck Norris flaps his wings—“it sounds as if he and Candace got along just fine. Ask him who did it. I think the pigeon feeder knows more than he’s letting on.”
“I bet you know more than you’re letting on,” I let the words roll right off my tongue, because at this point, why not just go with it?
Carlotta gives me the side-eye. “Of course, he does, Lot. He’s a big-shot producer. You don’t get where he is today and not have the brains to back the billions.”
A husky laugh thumps through the big-shot producer’s chest. “You really know how to sweet talk a man, hot mama.”
“Who you calling hot?” She puckers her lips his way, and just as he’s diving in for a kiss she pulls back. “First, you tell me everything you know about how Randy Candy came to be a corpse. I’ve got my good name to clear, you know. It’s bad enough that woman tormented me while she was still living, but now she’s doing it from the great beyond.”
Cluck Norris juts his head out a notch. “Oh, the beyond is great, indeed, Carlotta. You would love it. Lots of great food, lots of men for you to choose from, and you get your very own castle—or you could live with family if you like.”
Carlotta lifts a brow my way and I shoot her a look that says don’t even think about it. My castle in the sky is going to have a fifteen-minute visitation limit for Carlotta and her shenanigans. Come to think of it, why should I wait until I’m dead to have all the fun? I should instate that rule now.
Burt nods. “I do know quite a bit of dirt. You don’t produce a show that spills all the gossip without having a knack for picking up on a little yourself.”
“I’m not getting any younger,” Carlotta says as her machine sings and whistles and yet she’s got nada. “Whatcha got, hot shot?”
“That Kit girl? The production assistant? She’s the kid sister of Candace’s husband, Zack. You probably heard he drowned three days into their honeymoon. Well, Kit’s made no secret of the fact she thinks her brother was pushed. She only brought up the theory recently, but I suspect it’s been brewing in her for a while.”