Four days of baby talk, seeing Aramis with a small version of himself, and being the third wheel to Pilar and Benjamin’s walks in the garden. I’d gotten used to hanging out with the two of them, but somehow I actually felt like a third wheel now. Maybe it was because I’d been on a few dates with David, Ben’s best friend and personal assistant, and in that case I hadn’t been the third wheel. Those had been double dates. The thought of David gave me pause. He was supposed to visit this weekend. Supposed to, that is, until he called last night and said his trip would be a quick twenty-four-hour one instead of the entire weekend. I supposed it was fine. At least I’d have twenty-four hours of doing something other than tending to my friends and their partners or their children. I didn’t mind doing it, of course not, it was my job, after all. How many people could say they worked with their best friends? Not many, I supposed. How many people could say they enjoyed what they did for a living? Again, not many. I always kept those two points in the forefront of my mind, as to not forget. Some days, it was difficult. Some days, even though they’d always treated me like I was part of their family, I missed my own. I missed my mother and father and even my little brother, who I didn’t always get along with, but always understood me. Today was that day. I just felt lonely. So, even if David wasn’t coming for a full weekend, I was really looking forward to seeing him later.
“Someone looks happy today.”
I turned to see Aramis and Oscar walking toward me. They were both wearing camouflage gear. Today, unlike every other day since we’d been here, the sun was out and there was a peculiar warmth to the winter. Aramis was smiling, waiting for me to respond.
“I am. David is coming later.”
“Right. David.” He rolled his eyes, but kept his smile. “Where will he stay? Your old cottage?”
“I guess so. I’ll probably be staying with him.” I tore my gaze from his and looked at Oscar. “How are you doing today? Having fun?”
“We’re going fishing.”
“Were going fishing,” Aramis corrected. “Unfortunately, the frozen pond didn’t get the memo.”
I laughed. “So where are you off to now?”
“We’re grabbing lunch and going to visit his mother.”
“Oh.” I blinked. “Is she doing better?”
“It seems so. She wants to see Oscar.” Aramis put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “And I’m sure he’s dying to see his mother as well.”
Oscar smiled wide, nodding. “But I want to stay here longer.”
“We’ll come right back here.” Aramis smiled down at him. “Do you want to let Madame Contessa know that we’re hungry and need food?”
“Yes.” Oscar shimmied out of his father’s hold and ran toward the palace as we watched.
“Don’t you think it’s dangerous to let him roam around alone?”
“I used to.” Aramis was frowning when I looked back at him. “Besides, there’s staff in every corner right now. Elias had someone set up every ten feet so Oscar won’t get lost.”
I felt my brows raise. It never failed to amaze me that they could just request something like that done with a snap of a finger.
“At what time is David due?”
“He should be here in an hour.” I glanced at the watch on my right wrist and saw that it was already noon.
“Are you picking him up at the airport or sending for him?”
“Sending for him. Why?”
“Just curious.” Aramis smiled, that tilt of one side of his lip he did, and shrugged a shoulder and I knew there was more to his statement.
“What?”
“It’s just, when people are in love they try to spend every moment they can with their partner. They don’t send drivers to pick them up at airports.”
“What do you know about love?” I raised an eyebrow, then corrected, “Romantic love anyway.”
“I know a little.” He stepped forward and for the first time in a long time, I fought the urge to step back, my heart fluttering into my throat. “How much do you know? Are you in love with him?”
“Maybe.”
“That sounds like a no.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Like a no.” I laughed, shaking my head. “Really, Aramis?”
“Really.”
“I don’t know why you would assume anything. You’ve never seen us together.”
“You’re right.” He stepped closer still.
I wished he wasn’t looking at me so intently, those dark green eyes casing mine like I was the one he was hunting today. I felt trapped even though I could back away, I could walk away. My heart was in my throat though, and I couldn’t move, not when he was looking at me like that. Not when he was stepping into me like that. Not when we were near the same spot he’d done this to me so many years ago, the night he’d offered me his hand. The night I’d caved and taken it, letting him lead me away from here. The night I’d given him my virginity, because I couldn’t think of anyone more perfect to lose it to, despite knowing he’d never be mine.
“I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately,” he said, and then I did step back slightly, eyes wide, heart pounding.
“What about it?”
“I wish I’d been a different man then. I wish I’d paid more attention to what was in front of me.”
“You had years to remedy that and didn’t.” I chuckled lightly. I’d had years to come to terms with the fact that he didn’t see me like that and that was fine. I knew it wasn’t a me thing, it was an Aramis thing.
“What if I want to remedy it now?”
“What are you saying?”
“Why don’t you put yourself on the list and erase everyone else?”
“What makes you think I would want that?”
“You want me. I know you want me.”
“You think everyone who breathes the same air as you wants you.” I shook my head, glancing away.
“Are you telling me you don’t?” He brought a hand toward me and grabbed mine.
My heart ricocheted in my chest. It was déjà vu. It was a mirror. Why did I feel like I had then, grasping at straws, gasping for air? I was a woman now. Experienced. I yanked my hand from his grasp.
“Please stop. I have a boyfriend. He’s coming to visit. You have a son that you’re dedicating all of your time to, as you should be, and well, there’s the contract. We can’t do this. Not now.” I swallowed.
Not ever would have been more apt, but I knew how to speak to Aramis to get him to back off, and concrete, definitive things existed only for him to tear down. He stepped away with a nod, and walked away without another word. I could tell he was brewing, but wasn’t he always? On my walk to meet Adeline in the library to decorate some more, I couldn’t shake the conversation. I couldn’t shake the feeling that overcame me because of it, things I hadn’t felt in years, not since my college boyfriend whom everyone including myself thought I would marry. Until we found out he was a lying cheater, that was. I pushed my thoughts aside as I opened the door and walked inside, smiling at the sight of a very pregnant Adeline standing in the middle of the room with a confused look on her face.