“Are you ever going to call me Winter?” I murmur back.
He shakes his head once.
I want to cry. I want to fall off the chair and become one with the carpet. But instead, I say, “Then you’ll never hear my voice, Adrian. Because it’s mine, not Lia’s.”
There’s a small knock on the door before he can say anything. I freeze, my heart thundering in my chest. I didn’t lock it, and if anyone comes in, they’ll see me sitting on Adrian’s lap with his fingers deep inside me.
“Who is it?” Adrian asks in his strong voice, not attempting to let me go. He’s so sure that no one will open the door, but then again, this is his castle. Why would anyone in their right mind defy him?
“Papa, is Mommy in there?”
I gasp at Jeremy’s voice and I try to scramble from Adrian’s hold, but he keeps me joined to him by the fingers inside me.
“Let me go. Your son is outside.”
He’s looking at me when he speaks to Jeremy, “Yes.”
“Can I come in?” the little boy asks.
I shake my head frantically, but Adrian says, “Yes.”
“Are you crazy?” I hiss under my breath.
“You said I don’t spend much time with him.”
“This isn’t what I meant…” my words trail off when the door clicks open and Jeremy trots inside, carrying one of his toy soldiers. I drop my feet down and smooth the dress on my thighs to hide the position in which his father is holding me.
“What are you doing?” Jeremy stops at our right, his innocent eyes going from me to Adrian.
His father remains silent, leaving the ball in my court. Asshole. I plaster on a smile. “Your papa was showing me something.”
“Really?”
Adrian wraps an arm around my waist and leans his chin on my shoulder. The gesture is new and feels intimate, even more than his fingers inside me, and that causes me to shudder. “Really.”
“Can I see, too?”
“No!” I snap, then smile. “I mean, I was coming to you so we could play together.”
“Can Papa come, too?” Jeremy asks slowly, almost shyly, and I want to punch Adrian for making him feel this way.
“I will, Malysh.”
Jeremy’s eyes jerk up at the same time as mine, and we both say, “You will?”
Adrian gives me an amused glance. “I will.”
Jeremy takes my hand in his and tries to pull me with him. I elbow Adrian so he’ll let me go and he does so, but not before he nibbles on the shell of my ear.
He takes a tissue and wipes his hand before swiftly picking my panties from the ground. My cheeks flame. I completely forgot they were there.
Instead of throwing them in the trash or hiding them in one of his drawers, Adrian shoves them in his pants pocket. I open my mouth to protest but then recall Jeremy’s here.
He tucks his soldier in his pocket and places his hand in his father’s—not the one that was inside me, thank God.
Adrian follows his son’s lead as he walks us out of the office, talking about his soldiers. At least one of us is comfortable. I feel like my legs will stop holding me up from how much they’re trembling.
“Hey, Papa.” Jeremy stares up at his father.
“Yes?” I notice that Adrian’s voice is gentler when he speaks to his son. It still has that intensity in it, but he doesn’t direct it at Jeremy.
“Can I have Mommy?”
Adrian’s ash eyes slide to me before he focuses on his son again. “You already do.”
“Not now. At night. I want Mommy to sleep with me, but she said I have to ask you for it.”
Flames creep up my cheeks. The kid took that suggestion seriously.
“She did, huh?” Adrian meets my gaze with a small smile that leaves me breathless. Holy shit. It’s not even a full smile, but I feel like I’m being attacked.
“Uh-huh,” Jeremy says, oblivious to the tension brewing in the air. “So, can I have her?”
“You already have her during the day, so no.”
“Please, Papa.”
“Do you want me to be all alone, Malysh?”
“No.”
“Then you have to give me your mother during the night.”
“Do you need Mommy too, Papa?”
Adrian pauses before he says calmly, assertively, “I do.”
My heart lunges, thundering and squeezing against my ribcage as if wanting to escape its confinements. His words shouldn’t have this effect on me. I should think that he only needs me because he wants his daily sick fix of punishing me, but the look in his eyes says something entirely different.
His eyes that I always thought were uncomfortable are now suffocating, trying to beat words into me that I don’t want to listen to.
“All right, Papa.” Jeremy grins at me. “We’ll share Mommy then.”
“Thank you, Malysh.” Adrian smiles at his son, and I’m once again caught off guard by it.
What right does he have to smile like that?
Adrian helps me put my coat on and buttons it to the very top before he loops a scarf around my throat. Then he does the same for Jeremy and lifts him in his arms.
I don’t want to focus on that, on how he can be a doting father, but the scene touches something inside me as we head outside.
The three of us sit in the gazebo, where Jeremy’s war zone is still pathetically incomplete. The little angel settles between us with his feet swinging joyfully as his attention flits from me back to his father. Who knows how long it’s been since he had both of his parents play with him?
“Mommy doesn’t know how to do it, Papa.”
Adrian’s lips twitch a little.
“Hey, that’s not true. I was taking it slowly, so he’d learn.”
“Too slow, apparently.” Adrian studies the wrong pieces jammed together. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s learning?”
I flex my fingers. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“You’re an awful liar, Lenochka.”
“I’m not lying.”
“That’s what all liars say.”
I stare at him over Jeremy’s head, and he stares right back, an easy, almost outgoing expression on his face. “How can you tell when someone is lying so easily?”
“So you admit you were lying?”
“No.” I make a face and mouth, “Jeremy,” so he doesn’t label me as a liar in front of him.
Adrian’s lips pull in a small smile. Holy hell. I’m glad he doesn’t smile too often because I’d go into cardiac arrest or something. He seems to be in an awfully good mood right now and I wonder what triggered it. Was it inflicting my punishment in his office or simply being here with me and Jeremy? Knowing his controlling, dominant character, it’s probably the first reason.
He takes a few pieces from Jeremy’s game and assembles them without breaking eye contact with me. “Unless you’re trained to lie, people have tells. The rub of a nose or a nape, fidgeting, or looking in a different direction to conjure a lie. The reason for that is because lying doesn’t com naturally and takes a lot of energy, so most of the oxygen in the blood rushes to the brain, leaving the rest of the limbs either numb or cold. That’s why you’ve been flexing your fingers.”