A shiver runs through my body and I squirm in my seat.
Me: Okay, I need to work. To be continued…
Dean: I was just unzipping my slacks :(
Me: Use your imagination.
Dean: Just send me a pic?
“Chelsea!” Victoria’s loud voice pulls me from my internal debate over whether I’d actually send him a pic.
Me: In your dreams Rico Suave. Noon.
I shut off my screen, placing my phone face down on my desk. Knowing Dean, he’ll send me a picture of himself.
“Sorry, what?” I say, realizing Hannah’s there now, too.
She and Hannah walk in and sit down.
“So, things are good?” Hannah asks, crossing her legs.
“They’re progressing, yes.”
“Are you taking him to Vegas with you?” Victoria asks, sipping out of her coffee mug. See, she’s a con artist.
“God, no. I don’t want to end up married again,” I joke.
“You think you would?” Hannah asks.
“No.” Then I frown while I think about that for a second.
“Jade adores him,” Victoria says. “Said he’s the best dancer. She brags about him so much, Reed was trying to choreograph his own dance last night.”
“Reed’s got no competition, but I have to admit he was good with her. He started breakdancing for her at one point.”
“She showed us.” Victoria smiles, silently giving me her blessing should I want to jump back in the Dean pool again.
“You’ve fallen for him again, haven’t you?” Hannah asks.
I shrug.
If I told them the truth, I’d be admitting it out loud. And that makes it more real. I’ve been dodging my family for the past few weeks because I know they’ll see it on my face.
“We aren’t going to judge you,” Hannah says, dipping her head to catch my eye.
I look up through my eyelashes and nod.
Hannah smiles.
“Am I the stupidest woman in the world?” My forehead hits my desk.
“No.” Victoria sets her coffee cup on my desk and comes around to my side. She puts her arm around my shoulders, propping herself up on the arm of my chair. “Not at all.”
“But Hannah said people don’t change.”
Hannah laughs. “What do I know? I barely know the guy except for the fact he’s a good tax lawyer.”
“What if he destroys me?” I voice my biggest fear.
“What if he doesn’t?” Victoria says, her lips pressing against the top of my head. “I know it’s scary, but if you’re already scared of being hurt, it’s too late. Now you have to jump in with both feet.”
“I’d rather put my toe in.”
Hannah laughs. “You already did. You’re going to feel the hit if it doesn’t work out anyway. Don’t stand in the way of working out yourself. Understand?”
“Kind of.” I shrug.
“If Dean called you right now and said he met someone else, how would you feel?” Hannah asks.
Her words send an adrenaline rush through my body and my chest constricts. “I’d be crushed.”
Hannah raises her shoulders, her lips pursed in a ‘see, you’re invested’ mannerism. I know she’s right. I felt it Saturday night. The pit of my stomach said I crossed the line. That he won and weaseled his way into my heart again.
“So both feet huh?”
Victoria squeezes my shoulder. “Yep, but don’t worry, Jade’s a really good judge of character.”
“She loves Pete.” I look up at her and roll my eyes.
Victoria laughs at me bringing up her ex-husband. “Every girl has the hero complex for her father.”
She’s right. “Has Dean really changed?” I ask the same question that kept me up last night.
Victoria’s hand lands on my chest, covering where my heart is. “Only this can tell you.”
Hannah rises from the chair and walks toward the door. “You know, Chelsea, when I hired you, it was between you and another woman. Do you know why I hired you?”
She stops in the doorway.
“Why?”
“You’re a fighter. I knew you’d go all in and get the job done. The same goes for a relationship. Let’s remember why we’re all divorced.”
Victoria and I say nothing.
“We’re divorced because the men we married weren’t all in. A successful relationship takes two people who will give one hundred percent. I know Dean disappointed you before, but he seems all in by everything you’ve told us. The question is, are you?” She leaves the room with a soft smile.
I look up to Victoria, whose lips are pressed together.
“She’s right. I never really did think of it like that, but she’s got a point.” She pulls me in for a hug and then stands.
“Yes, she does,” I mumble after everyone’s left.
I open my desk drawer, pulling out my jump drive. My stomach rumbles with nausea as I wait for it to load on my computer until the small thumbnail images pop up.
I click on the first picture. A selfie of Dean and I. Were we really that young once upon a time? His arm is slung around me, my lips pressed to his cheek, a million-dollar smile on his face.
I scroll forward to photos of us at his games, us at parties, out with our friends and the only constant is Dean is by my side. Even when I’m with my friends, he’s photobombing in the background. A smile comes to my lips remembering how much fun we had during those short months.
Checking the time, I see it’s eleven thirty. I grab my purse and phone off my desk.
“I’ll be back after lunch,” I say, not waiting for a response.
“Well then,” Victoria says but the door shuts and I press the elevator button before I hear more.
It’s always been Dean. I need to finally give him all of me.
I use my new key to open Dean’s apartment and I’m greeted immediately by Grover, his tail wagging and drool hanging from his mouth.
“Hey Grover,” I say, looking around for his leash. “Do you want to go outside?” I bend down and pet him, spotting his leash on the table by the front door. “Okay, let’s go.”
I drop my stuff, attach the leash and move toward the door. It opens before I can grab the knob.
Dean strolls in, his tie already loosened from his neck. A smile warms his entire face and I’m reminded of the pictures I looked at moments ago when I walked down the aisle toward Elvis at that small chapel in Vegas. I really wish I’d been more coherent, so I could remember marrying him better.
“I like this scene way too much.” Dean places his computer bag on a chair and bee-lines it right over to me.
“Grover needs to go out.”
“I pay a dog walker. He was here a half hour ago. He’s fine.” His head burrows into my neck and he lifts me into his arms, inhaling deep. “I need you more.”
“You spent all day Sunday with me.” I laugh, my head falling back, and his teeth nip along my neck.
“I need you every minute of every day.” He kicks off his shoes.
Grover’s leash slips out of my hands.