He stands up from the table when I approach.
“I thought we needed to be secluded?”
“Since they don’t open for four more hours this is what we’re using.” He nods to the booth.
A waiter I’m not familiar with brings over a Vesper.
“This gentleman doesn’t know what I want. Could you get me a gin and tonic instead?”
He nods, taking the Vesper with him.
“You’re angry at me, not at him,” Roarke says.
“I think I was polite.”
“You weren’t.”
“Thank you, Mr. Etiquette, I’ll remember that,” I quip. I sit back in the booth, my hands in my lap.
“After he brings you a new drink I’ll tell you how what you saw isn’t what you think.”
We wait in silence.
“Funny how you think I’m the one at fault.”
His eyes dig into mine. “You know what, before we start I want you to look back over the last month or so. I want you to remember how I was with you. I never lied. I was upfront about everything. My past. No one in this city knows my past, but you, because you came to Woods Parlor and saw it firsthand.”
I cross my hands over my chest. “You probably hired them all.”
He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Yes, Hannah. I hired an entire town to act like my family. I put those pictures in the glass case for you to find. I even made sure it was Liv that waited on us. I get that you have trust issues. I have them myself, but I would at least hear you out.”
The waiter comes over and places a gin and tonic with a lime on a small dish in front of me.
“Thank you. So sweet.” I’m overly pleasant to him.
Roarke gets an even more pissed off look on his face. I’ll admit that I kind of enjoy that look because it makes him appear even sexier. Funny how the tables have turned.
Once the waiter is a good distance away, Roarke pulls out a business card from the inside pocket of his suit and slides it over.
One Million Degrees. I pick up the rectangle cardboard in my hand and read it over. A non-profit.
“I’m on the board.”
“Good for you.” I place it down. “Do you want a pat on the back?”
He blows out an exhausted breath.
“I’m really trying here, Firecracker, but you’re not.” The hurt in his voice, as well as his pet name for me, cut me as deep as it did when I saw that woman holding a bra and panty set that she was going to model for him later that night.
“Fine.” I sip my gin and tonic. “Carry on.”
“The woman is receiving services from One Million Degrees. She left an abusive relationship and she’s been working and going to school at night. The program helps people like her get a fresh start, so they can do something positive with their life. I’d taken her to Bloomingdale’s to get her a suit for an interview she had coming up. I’m not really supposed to go that above and beyond but I know what it’s like to walk into an interview room and not be dressed the part. To feel like you’re going to fail before you’ve even begun.”
“And that includes bra and panties?”
He holds his hands up in the air. “I know that looked horrible. I was keeping Reese busy so she could shop.”
“You were buying her the intimates, too?”
“I was.” No apology in his tone.
“Nice.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“How do you feel when you put on a new bra and panty set? Let’s say before a date. Does it make you feel sexier, bolder?”
He leans forward and I hate that he’s able to somehow make a point with this. The fact is he was buying another woman lingerie.
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to wear years’ old cotton underwear or a bra with one underwire missing. It doesn’t exactly help you feel like you’re the best there is out there. I’m not going to defend my actions, Hannah. I didn’t have her model them for me and I would never cross that line with someone from the charity whether you were or were not in the picture. In fact, I’d already given the sales lady my credit card. If you hadn’t stormed in there with your girl squad, I never would have seen the undergarments in the first place.”
“You’re blaming me?” I point to my chest.
“I’m not blaming you,” he says through clenched teeth. “The only thing I’ll apologize for is not telling you what I was doing. I left that night because her ex-husband showed up drunk and pounding on her door. She ended up calling the police. Reese was so scared I ended up staying over there until she fell asleep. I should’ve told you that day, but you were taking me to meet your parents and I didn’t want you having any doubts that I’m the right man for you.” He takes a healthy sip of his drink.
“Why did your shirt from that night smell like perfume?”
I thought I’d get a look of surprise or pissed off expression since I’m testing him again, but I get neither of those, only a calm facade.
“Reese had been playing in her mom’s things, spraying perfume. Although I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I am because I desperately want this behind us. Sonya is another woman I’ve helped. Jett as well. There are many others spread all over this city and if I have to bring each one here to convince you I’m telling the truth, I will.”
Tears prick my eyes and I inspect the business card again. I’ve heard of programs similar to this. How can I honestly be mad at him for helping those less fortunate?
“I have to go.” I slide out of the booth, all my emotions of the past few weeks suddenly too overwhelming, too convoluted to decipher.
“What? No.” He stands to follow me and I turn around sharply, my hand landing on his suit vest.
I take in his appearance one more time. He’s the dressed-for-success Roarke, the one I like the least. Maybe because it reminds me of my failed marriage or the way I despised him when I didn’t even know him.
Feeling the softness of the vest with the buttons, I want nothing more than to step into him and let him convince me that I’m not crazy. That I won’t always think the worst of any man in my life. That one day I’ll trust someone when they say they only want me. That a year isn’t long enough for anyone to push away all the fear the dissolution of my marriage brought on.
“I’m sorry I drew the wrong conclusions. I should have asked when I first started to suspect something but I was so sure, and I wanted to burn you at the stake. I wanted to have the upper hand when I confronted you. I see now how demented that sounds. I thought I was ready for a relationship but I see now that I’m not.”
“No.” His forehead creases. “Hannah,” he pleads, his voice cracking.
I shake my head, stepping closer just to feel his lips to mine one last time. “I never intended to fall for you, but I did.” I rise on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.
He stands there looking stunned at how this has played out.
“Always remember my feelings for you were real, but you deserve someone who won’t be assuming the worst from you at every turn. Someone you don’t have to argue your case to over and over again. I hope you find her.”
I step back, my hand falling from his vest.